Diana与流浪狗的故事（绍兴一模2023.11.9）讲义高考英语作文复习专项

来源：绍兴一模续写话题:人和动物友好相处，爱，善良文本分析I'mretiredandnotresponsibleformuchthesedays.Idon'thaveschoolagechildrenwhorequirehelpwiththeirhomework.IsleepinwhenIchoose,

doalittlewritingandrepairafewthingsaroundthehouse.Mywife'swork,ontheotherhand,is

neverending.（注意妻子工作的特点：永无止境的）Dianatakescareotherparentsintheirmidnineties,tendstohomeandgarden,volunteersforvariousmunityorganizations,andisagoldstargrandmother.Sheisalsoadedicatedcatlover,

andcatshavealwaysbeenherpetofchoice.（注意：在下文中妻子的喜欢发生了改变）Allthat

changed

whentwosmallblackandbrown

dogs

scamperedintoouryardand

meltedDiana'sheart.

Ithappenednotlongago.Thedogsappearedunannouncedandhadbeenseenbyhikersonnumerousoccasions,roamingthewoodsliketinylostsouls.Theywerehomelessdogs,

aswildasthewind.

Noonecouldgetwithin100yardsofthem.（突出两只狗的也行与不好相处）

Intheirstruggleforsurvival,thetwohadfiguredoutawayto

avoidpeople（为下文写Diana女里用爱来感化它们从而接近它们做铺垫）andfindfoodandshelterinthewilderness.Theywereundeniablycuteandappealing.

Manyofourneighborstriedtoluretheminwithtreats,butthetinydogsremainedunapproachable.（此处写邻居的努力仍然得不到小狗的亲近，为下文Diana的举动做铺垫）Mywifebeganleavingtastyfoodout,

slowlymovingthefoodbowlcloserwitheachfeeding.Asdayspassed,theyventuredcloserandcloser.

Dianamadeaconsciouseffortnottofrightenthem.

Shecalledthemtodinnerwithafortingvoice,

lettingthemknowtheyweresafe.Itwasimportantthattheytrustedher.

Why?Shewaslookingforsomethingtomother.

ForDiana,loveisthemedicinetoeverything,（突出Diana乐于分享爱的特点）andnothingtuggedatherheartstringsmorethanahungryandhomelessanimal.Diananamedthem“Emma”and“Daisy”andshecalledthedogsher“littlewolves.”Initially,

theywouldnotlethertouchthem.Asdaysturnedintoweeks,theirbondslowlygrew.

Soon,

Dianawaspettingthem.Next,theywereeatingfromherhand.Beforelong,

shehadthemsittinginherlapandfollowingheraroundtheyard.（时间顺序写出Diana与小狗一步一步亲近的过程）

Andpoof!Mywifewasinstantly

transformed

fromcatladytodoglady.（与上文中写妻子喜欢猫呼应，所以我们在续写中要注意这一改变）前文主要内容写

Diana从小猫爱好者转变为小狗爱好者，并且用爱感染它们与它们一步步亲近。段首句解读Paragraph1:Itwasn'tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas"watchdogs”没过多久，狗就睡在房子里，扮演起了“看门狗”的角色。由段首句可知，小狗已然成为我们家的一份子，所以这段要写我们与狗相处的日常以及我对这两只小狗的看法，我们怎样对待它们。Paragraph2:TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.在院子里，黛西和艾玛在我们的脚边玩耍，感觉就像经历了第二次童年。在这一段我们要写出小狗是怎样玩耍的，我和

Diana是怎样看它们的，其次还要注意贯穿全文的一个词“change”，

Diana怎样从猫猫爱好者转为小狗爱好者也要在其中提到。本文主要特点本文的细节描写，动作描写较多，对人物的刻画方面细腻，让我们容易地get到

Diana的特点，我们在写自己的续写时也可借用本文的方法去丰满人物形象。写作中可能存在的问题很容易忽略的点change,我们一定要在续写中点名change的存在。还要注意续写中我个人的心理描写对狗的看法，对妻子改变想法的看法。生词积累roamv/n.漫步，闲逛undeniablyadv.不可否认地，确凿无疑地lurev.引诱，诱惑n.诱惑(物)，诱惑力;v.敢于去(未知或危险等地方);冒险;小心地说，谨慎地做;venturev.

谨慎地做;好词积累比喻：aswildasthewind像风一样狂野夸张：Noonecouldgetwithin100yardsofthem.没人能接近他们100码之内。细节描写：tugone’sheartstring触动某人的心弦下水文Itwasn'tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas"

watchdogs”.

Gradually,theonceskittishdogstransitionedfromwaryhomelessdogstodevotedpanions,forminganunspokenbondwithDianathattranscendedtheirinitialfears.EmmaandDaisybegantoeagerlyrespondtoDiana'sgentlemands,relishingtheaffectionandsecuritysheprovided.Theonce"wild"dogshadfoundanewhomenotjustinouryardbutinourhearts,andDiana'sunwaveringmitmenttotheirwellbeingwasatestamenttoherpassionatespirit.TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.

Thedogs'playfulanticsandwaggingtailsbroughtanundeniablejoytoourhousehold.Theybecamefixturesinourlives,greetinguswithlivelytailwagsandendearingbarksthatechoedthroughthehalls.Diana,theepitomeofresilienceandcare,seamlesslyintegratedthedogsintoherroutine,findingimmensefulfillmentintheirsharedmomentsofwalksandgentleplay.Despiteherlifelongfondnessforfelinefriends,Diana'sheartexpandedtoacmodatethesenewfoundadditions.Theirtransformationwasatestamenttopatience,passion,andtheremarkablepoweroflove,illustratingthecapacityfortrusttoflourisheveninthemosttimidofcreatures.本次写作思路回顾：首先阅读文章，提取人物心路历程，故事发展路线，再看题目提供的段首句，确定整体框架，写作思路，最后完成写作，过程中注意主要人物的转变，从爱猫人士转变为用爱感化流浪狗，选取一些高级词汇表达更优。参考答案：Itwasn’tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas“watchdogs”Theybecamefierceprotectorsofourhome,afortingpresence.Eachday,theywouldpolicethepropertywholeheartedlyandthenreturntothehouseexpectingasweettreatandagentlepatontheheadforajobwelldone.Theirloveanddevotionwereunquestioning.Theyquicklybecameintegratedintoourdailylives.Wheredidtheyefrom?ThatwasaquestionIneverstoppedaskingmyself.Maybeanunavoidabletragedybroughtthelittlewolvestous,ormaybetheyhadbeenadoptedbyamisguidedhuman.Whateveritwas,ourfurryfriendsaretheessenceofhappiness.Theydisplayabsolutejoyinsimplybeingalive.Theirwaggingtailsandcoldlittlenosesalwaysliftmyspirits.TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.Filledwithsomuchenergy,theyracearoundtheyard,barkingandchasingeachother,andthensprintbacktousfora