浙江省金华十校高三上学期11月一模读后续写（教师版）

【2022·浙江省金华十校高三上学期11月一模】WhenmyhusbandRandy

diedinlatefall,decidingwhattodowithhisgarden

waswaydownonthelistofnecessarytasks.Duringthefirstfewmonths,I

cried

withourdaughters,

plannedamemorial,criedwithmyfamily,celebratedaquietThanksgiving,

andpanicked

overnothavingboughtChristmas

presents.Asthecalendarturnedtoanewyear,暗示下文新的一年，我也会有所改变theoftenrainydaysandlongnightsdeepenedmysorrow.

IfoundmyselfexhaustedattheendofFebruary,bothphysicallyandmentally.暗示下文新的一年，我也会有所改变Thenthedaffodils本文最重要的意象，象征着希望和新生(水仙)bloomed暗示Randy也一直陪在主人公身边本文最重要的意象，象征着希望和新生暗示Randy也一直陪在主人公身边Yearsbefore,Randyhadplanted

dozensoftheselemonyellowflowers.Tohim,theyservedasareminderofhope,

apromisethatlight暗示主人公即使经历了失去和悲伤，生活中仍然会有希望和新的可能性andwarmthwouldsoonreplacecoldanddark.Lookingatthosedaffodils,IthoughtabouthowRandyhadconsideredourgardenalivingworkofart,carefullychoosingplantssowe’dseenewblooms

everymonth.

(回忆1)暗示主人公即使经历了失去和悲伤，生活中仍然会有希望和新的可能性ThenInoticedalltheweeds与Randy过去疾病缠身、无法像以前那样照料花园的情况相呼应同时与水仙花这个希望的象征形成了对比

thathadtakenrootandspreadeverywhere.Theneglect(疏于打理)showed花园的荒废与水仙花的盛开形成了鲜明对比,forRandy’sillnesshadlastedacoupleofyears,atimewhenhedidn’thaveenergyforyardworkthewayhehadbefore.与Randy过去疾病缠身、无法像以前那样照料花园的情况相呼应同时与水仙花这个希望的象征形成了对比花园的荒废与水仙花的盛开形成了鲜明对比Facedwiththeneglectedgarden,Ifeltoverwhelmed

inthebeginning.MydaughterssuggestedIhireaservicetocleaneverythingup.Ididn’trespond.EverytimeIsatinthegardenalone,thememoriesofthelivelygarden

cameflooding,likethenumerousscenesinanunforgettablefilm.ManydaysRandycamehomefromwork,changedintooldclothes,andheadedoutthedoortomoworprune(修剪).Orangedragonfliesfollowedhimaroundtheyardasheworked.Honeybees

代表了花园中充满生机的景象buzzedamongtheflowers,birdssangbeautifulsongs,

andgentlebreezescarriedthesweetsmellofdirt.Nomatterhowcoldorwetitwas,thefreshairandphysicalactivitymadehimenergizedandrefreshed.ForRandy,

theworkwasquietandforting,whichwasarelief,aswellasapleasure.

(回忆2)代表了花园中充满生机的景象续写词数应为150左右；Thedaysgrewwarmerandlighter,andIstartedtheworkmyself._______________________________________________________________________________Weekslater,mydaughtersreturnedtovisitme.______________________________________________________________________________5R解读故事：ReadforthebackgroundFebruary(when);agardeninmyyard(where)ReadforthecharactersI,myhusbandRandy,mydaughters(who)Readfortheemotionalchangescry；sorrow；overwhelmedReadfortheplotBeginning：myhusbandRandy

died；lefthisgardenDevelopment:sadtohisdeath;theneglectedgardenClimax:daffodilsbloomedResolution:cleanupthegardenEnding:thegardenbecamelivelyagainReadforthetheme(人与自我):haveapositiveattitudetowardslifeTPT模式Paragraph1：Thedaysgrewwarmerandlighter,andIstartedtheworkmyself.Paragraph2:Weekslater,mydaughtersreturnedtovisitme.TransitionStep2(第4句)：IknewifRandywerestillhere,hewouldn’tbeartowitnessthegardeninamess.Step2(第2句)：Astheysteppedintothegarden,theywereattractedbythebloomingflowersandsweetfragrance.ThePlot（Actions+Emotions)Step3Miniplot1:thesceneinthegarden(neglected)Miniplot2:growflowers(myactions)Miniplot3:myresponsesStep3Miniplot1:thesceneinthegarden(lively)Miniplot2:daughters’responsesandactionsMiniplot3:myresponsesTransitionStep2(第3句)：IcametoasuddenrealizationthatworkingintheyardfeltlikeawaytoacpanyRandy,giftingmeabeautifulgardenaswellasreliefandpleasures.Step1(第1句)：ThegardenenlightenedmewiththefactthatRandywasalwayswithmeandbroughtmehopesandwarmth.Possibleversion:Thedaysgrewwarmerandlighter,andIstartedtheworkmyself.IknewifRandywerestillhere,hewouldn’tbeartowitnessthegardeninamess.Facedwiththeneglectedgardenwithgrowingweeds,Iputonoldclothesandmencedtomowandprune.Followingthat,Iboughtsomeseedslikelemonyellowdaffodils,andsowedandwateredtheminthegarden.Afteranarduouswork,exhaustedyetsatisfied,Iwasdelightedtowitnessitstransformationwithabigsmileshininglikeadiamond.IcametoasuddenrealizationthatworkingintheyardfeltlikeawaytoacpanyRandy,giftingmeabeautifulgardenaswellasreliefandpleasures.(104words)Weekslater,mydaughtersreturnedtovisitme.Astheysteppedintothegarden,theywereattractedbythebloomingflowersandsweetfragrance.Orangedaffodilswerebloomingenergetically,honeybeesbuzzingbusily,birdssingingcheerfully,andbreezekissingourcheeksgently.“Whatamiracle!”theyexclaimedwithastonishmentandquestionedwithconfusion“Isthisyourmasterpiece?”IsmiledandexplainedthatworkinginthegardenmademefeelasifRandywerealwayswithme.Atthesewords,mydaughtersenvelopedmeintightembraceswithtearswellingupinoureyes.ThegardenenlightenedmewiththefactthatRandywasalwayswithmeandbroughtmehopesandwarmth.(103words)解读：Thedaysgrewwarmerandlighter,andIstartedtheworkmyself.IknewifRandywerestillhere,hewouldn’tbeartowitnessthegardeninamess.（承接上句我开始动手打理院子的原因）Facedwiththeneglectedgardenwithgrowingweeds,Iputonputon穿上这个动作wear描述的是一种状态，或者是你经常做的事情dress+sboldclothesandmencedtomowandprune.（没有打理的院子，杂草对应原文；旧衣服，动手割草、修剪也对应原文）Followingthat,Iboughtsomeseedslikelemonyellowdaffodils,andsowedandwateredtheminthegarden.（对应原文的水仙花；动作链句式）Afteranarduouswork,exhaustedyetsatisfied,Iwasdelightedtowitnessitstransformationwithabigsmileshininglikeadiamond.IcametoasuddenrealizationthatworkingintheyardfeltlikeawaytoacpanyRandy,giftingmeabeautifulgardenaswellasreliefandpleasures.（对应原文Randy为什么喜欢打理花园——因为可以减压和带来欢乐）(104words)puton穿上这个动作wear描述的是一种状态，或者是你经常做的事情dress+sbWeekslater,mydaughtersreturnedtovisitme.Astheysteppedintothegarden,theywereattractedbythebloomingflowersandsweetfragrance.（承接上句女儿们走进花园的所见所闻）Orangedaffodilswerebloomingenergetically,honeybeesbuzzingbusily,birdssingingcheerfully,andbreezeskissingourcheeksgently.（对应原文的水仙花、蜜蜂、鸟、微风；独立主格句式）“Whatamiracle!”theyexclaimedwithastonishmentandquestionedwithconfusion“Isthisyourmasterpiece?”（女儿们做出的actions）IsmiledandexplainedthatworkinginthegardenmademefeelasifRandywerealwayswithme.（我的responses）Atthesewords,mydaughtersenvelopedmeintightembraceswithtearswellingupinoureyes.ThegardenenlightenedmewiththefactthatRandywasalwayswithmeandbroughtmehopesandwarmth.（点名文章主旨，要对生活充满希望）(103words)官方参考范文ThedaysgrewwarmerandlighterandIstartedtheworkmyself.WhatIfocusedonfirstwasclearingawaytheweedsthathadtakenrootandspread.Followingthat,Itendedallthelivelyplantscarefullyon