专题22读后续写写作步骤（思路）解密（讲义）-（新高考专用）

专题22读后续写写作步骤（思路）解密01专题网络·思维脑图02考情分析·解密高考03高频考点·以考定法考点读后续写写作步骤考点读后续写写作步骤【高考解密】命题点01人与自我命题点02人与社会命题点03人与自然【技巧解密】【考向预测】04核心素养·微专题微专题读后续写之句子扩充05创新好题·分层练卷别来源体裁原文字数话题主题2023年新高考全国I卷记叙文324邀请参加写作比赛人与自我浙江卷1月记叙文349救助蜂鸟人与自然2022年全新高考全国I卷记叙文317患病男孩的奔跑人与自我浙江卷6月记叙文330社区志愿者活动人与社会浙江卷1月记叙文345我和学霸的搭档人与社会2021年全新高考全国I卷记叙文306母亲节的礼物人与社会浙江卷6月记叙文315暑假打工薪水人与自我浙江卷1月记叙文348万圣节南瓜趣事人与自我2020年全新高考全国I卷记叙文325帮助弱者脱困人与社会浙江卷7月记叙文330与熊对抗脱险人与自然浙江卷1月记叙文350抚慰狗狗心伤人与自然考点读后续写命题点01人与自我典例01【2023▪新高考I&II卷】WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(银匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswereing.Mystorywouldestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin,Iwouldn’tcare.注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.IwassohappytohearthenewsthatIimmediatelyshareditwithmyteacher.“Iknewyou’dwin!Iamproudofyou.Youmadeit!”hesaidexcitedly.Thencamethebigday.WhenIwasinvitedtothestagetoreceivetheaward,Iexpressedmythankstomyteacher.Isaid,“It’syouwhomakemefallinlovewithwriting,mysocialstudiesteacher.Withoutyourrecognitionandguidance,Icouldn’thavewrittenthisarticle.Againthankyouverymuch!”Iwenttomyteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Myteacherwaswaitingforme.Holdingmyhands,hesaid“Congratulations!Youareagoodwriter,sokeepwriting.”“YouknowIdidn’tlikewritingbefore,butnowIamcrazyaboutit!Iwilltrymybesttocreategoodworks.”Isaidseriously.Sincethen,IhavewrittenmanygoodworksandnowIamafamouswriter.Iowemysuccesstomysocialteacherwhoisabeaconinmylifeontheroadtowriting.【解析】【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者上中学的时候，社会学老师邀请作者参加一个写作比赛。作者不喜欢写作，于是想都没想就拒绝了。但是在老师的鼓励下，作者同意试一试。作者在写作过程中虽然很累，但是没有放弃，坚持下来了。在作者最终完成写作时，作者感到写作让他很快乐，他已经不在乎输赢了。【详解】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“几个星期后，当我几乎忘记比赛的时候，传来了消息。”和第二段首句“颁奖后我去了老师的办公室。”可知，第一段可描写作者获得比赛一等奖，在颁奖典礼上作者表达了对社会老师的感激。②由第二段首句内容“颁奖后我去了老师的办公室。”可知，第二段可描写老师鼓励作者继续写作，自此作者坚持写作取得了成功，作者将这一切归功于自己的老师。2.续写线索：比赛消息传来——作者获奖——高兴——颁奖典礼感谢老师——颁奖后来到老师办公室——老师告诉作者坚持写作——作者表达了对写作的喜爱——作者写作取得了成功——感激老师3.词汇激活行为类①告知：inform/tell②成功做到：makeit/succeed③表达：express/convey情绪类①高兴的：happy/glad②激动地：excitedly/withexcitement【点睛】[高分句型1]IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.（运用了由连接词that引导的宾语从句）[高分句型2]It’syouwhomakemefallinlovewithwriting,mysocialstudiesteacher.（运用了强调句）[高分句型3]Iowemysuccesstomysocialteacherwhoisabeaconinmylifeontheroadtowriting.（运用了who引导的限制性定语从句）典例02【2022新高考I&II卷】Itwasthedayofthebigcrosscountryrun.Studentsfromsevendifferentprimaryschoolsinandaroundthesmalltownwerewarmingupandwalkingtheroute(路线)throughthickevergreenforest.IlookedaroundandfinallyspottedDavid,whowasstandingbyhimselfofftothesidebyafence.Hewassmallfortenyearsold.Hisusualbigtoothysmilewasabsenttoday.Iwalkedoverandaskedhimwhyhewasn’twiththeotherchildren.Hehesitatedandthensaidhehaddecidednottorun.Whatwaswrong?Hehadworkedsohardforthisevent!Iquicklysearchedthecrowdfortheschool’scoachandaskedhimwhathadhappened.“Iwasafraidthatkidsfromotherschoolswouldlaughathim,”heexplainedunfortably.“Igavehimthechoicetorunornot,andlethimdecide.”Ibitbackmyfrustration(懊恼).Iknewthecoachmeantwell—hethoughthewasdoingtherightthing.AftermakingsurethatDavidcouldrunifhewanted,Iturnedtofindhimingtowardsme,hissmallbodyrockingfromsidetosideasheswunghisfeetforward.Davidhadabraindiseasewhichpreventedhimfromwalkingorrunninglikeotherchildren,butatschoolhisclassmatesthoughtofhimasaregularkid.Healwaysparticipatedtothebestofhisabilityinwhatevertheyweredoing.ThatwaswhynoneofthechildrenthoughtitunusualthatDavidhaddecidedtojointhecrosscountryteam.Itjusttookhimlonger—that’sall.Davidhadnotmissedasinglepractice,andalthoughhealwaysfinishedhisrunlongaftertheotherchildren,hedidalwaysfinish.Asaspecialeducationteacherattheschool,IwasfamiliarwiththechallengesDavidfacedandwasproudofhisstrongdetermination.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答.Wesatdownnexttoeachother,butDavidwouldn’tlookatme.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________IwatchedasDavidmoveduptothestartinglinewiththeotherrunners.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Wesatdownnexttoeachother,butDavidwouldn’tlookatme.Isaidgentlyandquietly,“Noonecanchangeyourmind,exceptyourself.Ifyoudesiretochallengeyourself,thereisnothingtodowithothers’thoughts.”Hesatstillwithadeepbreath.“Youhaveafullpreparationbeforethisevent,whichisthemostimportantreasonwhyyoushowuphere”,Iaddedwithasinceretone.Hearingmywords,Davidturnedtometremblinglywithtearsspillingoutofhiseyesandexpressedhehadmadeafirmdeterminationtofinishthecrosscountryrun.HiscoachheardwhatDavidsaidandgavemealook—thekindthatwasmoredeterminedthananyoneelse’s.IwatchedasDavidmoveduptothestartinglinewiththeotherrunners.Theracestarted.Itseemedthattherunwaywasextremelylongforyoungchildren,nottomentionachildwithaheartdisease.Davidinsistedonrunningasifhehadforgottenallhisweaknesses,thoughhewastrippedoverwithintheafewkilometers.Itdidn’ttakelongbeforehepickedhimselfupagainandcontinuedhismission.Classmatesallappearedontheracingtrack,cheeringforhim.“eon!Youcanmakeit!Weareproudofyou!”theyshoutedenthusiastically.Toeveryone’sjoy,hereachedthefinallineandrankedthe20th.Itwasnomoreimportantwhetherhewonthefirstplaceornot.Itwashisbraveheartandstrongfaiththatcouldmakesomethingunusualhappenfinally.【导语】本文以赛跑为线索展开。作者是一名特殊教育教师，在大型越野赛跑那天，发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因，他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知，因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫，所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心，不理会别人的看法，大卫最终参赛，尽管遇到困难，他战胜了自己，这已经无关名次，而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。【详解】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“我们挨着坐着，但大卫不愿看我一眼。”和第二段首句内容”我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知，第一段可描写作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛，大卫经过强烈的心理斗争，最终决定参加比赛。②由第二段首句内容“我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。”可知，第二段可描写大卫开始参赛，虽然中途遇到困难，仍然坚持到最后，完成比赛。2.续写线索：鼓励大卫——心理变化——决定参赛——克服困难——加油助威——完成比赛3.词汇激活：行动类：①深呼吸：withadeepbreath/breathedeeply②坚持做：insistedondoing/besticktodoing情绪类：①热情：enthusiastically/withgreatpassion②骄傲：beproudof/takepridein【点睛】[高分句型1].Youhaveafullpreparationbeforethisevent,whichisthemostimportantreasonwhyyoushowuphere.(由which引导的非限制性定语从句和why引导的限制性定语从句)[高分句型2].Hearingmywords,Davidturnedtometremblinglywithtearsspillingoutofhiseyesandexpressedhehadmadeafirmdeterminationtofinishthecrosscountryrun.(现在分词作状语和省略that的宾语从句)[高分句型3].Itwashisbraveheartandstrongfaiththatcouldmakesomethingunusualhappenfinally.(含有Itwas…that结构的强调句型)命题点02人与社会典例01【2022浙江6月】Ineededtodosomethinginmymunity(社区)inordertopletethemunityservicehoursrequiredtograduatefromhighschool.Someofmyfriendshadsigneduptospendtimeatasoupkitchen,soIdid,too.Itseemedlikeagoodthingtodo.Ithoughtthatwewouldjustbepassingoutdinnerstothoseinneed,butIfoundoutwewouldbedoingeverythingfrompreparingtoservingthedinner.Webeganpreparingthefood,frommixingsaladdressingtoseparatingfrozenmeat.Muchstillneededtobedonebeforedinnerwasserved,butalreadyoutsidethebuildingmanyhomelesspeopleweregathering.Itwasn’tuntilacoupleofhourslaterthatweopenedthedoorsandbeganservingdinner.Asthelineofpeoplecametowardme,Igotalittlescared.I’defacetofacewiththehomeless:HowshouldIact?Howwouldtheytreatme?Wouldtheyhatemeforhavingmorethantheydid?Whilesomeofthepeoplelookedveryfriendly,someofthemlookedsodangerous.Ididn’thavetoomuchtimetoworryaboutit.Iwasassigned(分配)toservethesaladwiththeladynexttome.ShesmiledatmeandsaidifIneededhelp,she’dberightthere,whichIfoundquiteforting.Ihadneverseensomanypeoplewantingfood.Theywereofallagesandnationalities.Mostofthemworeclothesthatweretornanddirty.Somelookedliketheyhadtallygivenuponlife,whileothersseemedtobemakingthebestofthesituation,smilingandjoking.Somewerebetteroffthanothers,buttheyallneededagoodmealandawarmplacetoeat.Itsaddenedmetothinkofhowmanypeopletherewerewhodidn’thaveaplacetocallhomeandtheonlyfoodtheygotcamefromasoupkitchen.注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph1:Astheycameinmydirection,Iputonmybrightestandhappiestsmile.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:IwassohappythatIhadearnedmyservicehoursinthisway.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Astheycameinmydirection,Iputonmybrightestandhappiestsmile.IwantedtomakethemknowthatIwasreallyanxioustohelpthem.Tomyrelief,theysmiledpolitelybackatmewhentheysawmysmile,andIcouldseetheirexhaustionintheireyes.IwantedtoknowwhattheyweregoingthroughandIwasdesperatetoknowwhatIcoulddoforthem.TheynoddedgratefullyasIpushedmyspoonintothepotandtookalargespoonfulandpoureditintotheirbowls.IwassohappythatIhadearnedmyservicehoursinthisway.Thisexperiencemademerealizethattherearesomanypeopleinthisworldwhoneedourhelp.Italsomademerealizethatoursmallactofkindnesscanmakethemfeelwarmandmakeagreatdifferencetothem.Iwillneverforgetthewaytheylookedatmewhentheyweregivenfood.Iamanxioustourgetheworldtodoeverythingpossibletohelpthoseinneed.【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者为了完成高中毕业所需的社区服务时间，需要在所在的社区做点什么，作者去了施粥所，作者发现准备过程中要做的事情很多，作者看到无家可归的人靠近时心里有点害怕，但是却忙得没有时间去担心这些，作者看到了年龄和国籍各不相同的人，这让作者感到很难过。【详解】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“当他们朝我走来的时候，我露出了最灿烂、最幸福的笑容。”可知，第一段可描写作者是怎么为无家可归的人施粥。②由第二段首句内容“我很高兴我用这种方式赢得了我的服务时间。”可知，第二段可描写作者对这次社区服务的感悟。2.续写线索：无家可归的人笑——作者舀粥——无家可归的人感激——作者感悟——作者发出呼吁3.词汇激活行为类①倒：pour/decant②意识到：realizethat/beawarethat③主张：urgesb.todo/advocatesb.todo情绪类①感谢：gratefully/thankfully②急切的：anxious/eager【点睛】[高分句型1]Thisexperiencemademerealizethattherearesomanypeopleinthisworldwhoneedourhelp.(由that引导的宾语从句和who引导的定语从句)[高分句型2]Iwillneverforgetthewaytheylookedatmewhentheyweregivenfood.(由关系代词that引导的定语从句，省略了that和when引导的时间状语从句)命题点03人与自然典例01【2023▪浙江1月卷】Iwasinvitedtoacookoutonanoldfriend’sfarminwesternWashington.Iparkedmycaroutsidethefarmandwalkedpastamilkinghousewhichhadapparentlynotbeenusedinmanyyears.Anoiseatawindowcaughtmyattention,soIenteredit.Itwasahummingbird(蜂鸟),desperatelytryingtoescape.Shewascoveredinspiderwebs(蛛网)andwasbarelyabletomoveherwings.SheceasedherstruggletheinstantIpickedherup.Withthebirdinmycuppedhand,Ilookedaroundtoseehowshehadgottenin.Thebrokenwindowglasswasthelikelyanswer.Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.WhenIopenedmyhand,thebirddidnotflyaway;shesatlookingatmewithherbrighteyes.Iremovedthestickyspiderwebsthatcoveredherheadandwings.Still,shemadenoattempttofly.Perhapsshehadbeenstrugglingagainstthewindowtoolongandwastootired?Ortoothirsty?AsIcarriedheruptheblackberrylinedpathtowardmycarwhereIkeptawaterbottle,shebegantomove.Istopped,andshesoontookwingbutdidnotimmediatelyflyaway.Hovering(悬停),sheapproachedwithinsixinchesofmyface.Foraverylongmoment,thistinycreaturelookedintomyeyes,turningherheadfromsidetoside.Thensheflewquicklyoutofsight.DuringthecookoutItoldmyhostsaboutthehummingbirdincident.Theypromisedtofixthewindow.AsIwasdeparting,myfriendswalkedmetomycar.Iwasstandingbythecarwhenahummingbirdflewtothecenterofourgroupandbeganhovering.Sheturnedfrompersontopersonuntilshecametome.Sheagainlookeddirectlyintomyeyes,thenletoutasqueakingcallandwasgone.Foramoment,allwerespeechless.Thensomeonesaid,“Shemusthaveetosaygoodbye.”注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.AsmycarneareditmythoughtsdriftedbacktothemomentwhenIrescuedthehummingbirdfromthespider’sweb.Irushedbacktothedesertedhouse.Itwasagreatfortthattheoriginalholeinthewindowwasnowheretobefound.Leavingthehouse,Icouldn’thelpwonderinghowitwasgettingonnow.Haditmanagedtofinditswaybackhome,orwasitstillouttheresomewherestrugglingtosurvive?

Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.Aflashofmovementcaughtmyattention.Iturnedaroundtoseethesamehummingbirdhoveringintheair.Itseemedthatthebirdwaswaitingforme,itsbeadyeyeslockedonmineasiftryingtoconveysomedeep,unspokengratitude.Ifeltasurgeofreliefandaweatthesightofthissoundandgratefulcreature,andIknewthatIwouldalwayscherishthememorieswesharedasIclimbedintomycaranddroveaway.【解析】【导语】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者被邀请去一个农场野餐，发现一个房子里有只蜂鸟被蜘蛛网困住了，作者把蜂鸟救了，把蜂鸟带出去的时候它迟迟不肯走，当作者走到一条布满黑莓的小路时，它开始动了，但是却不肯飞走，徘徊着，后来终于飞走了，当作者准备离开时，蜂鸟又飞到作者面前，好像是在和作者告别。【详解】1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“几个星期后，我又去了农场。”可知，第一段可描写作者回到农场时所看到的和所想到的。②由第二段首句内容“我正要离开，这时蜂鸟出现了。”可知，第二段可描写蜂鸟是如何对作者的以及作者的感想。2.续写线索：想起救蜂鸟的时候——回到那个房子——想到那只蜂鸟——看见蜂鸟——蜂鸟的表现——作者的感想3.词汇激活行为类①思绪回到……：thoughtsdriftbackto/thoughtsreturnto②匆匆回到：rushbackto/hurrybackto③盯着：eyeslockedon/eyesstaringat情绪类①宽慰：feelasurgeofrelief/feelrelieved②感激：grateful/thankful【点睛】[高分句型1]AsmycarneareditmythoughtsdriftedbacktothemomentwhenIrescuedthehummingbirdfromthespider’sweb.(由as引导的时间状语从句和when引导的限制性定语从句)[高分句型2]Itwasagreatfortthattheoriginalholeinthewindowwasnowheretobefound.(由that引导的主语从句)快速成文基础技能：二段十句定文法第一步：读全文，找六要素六要素包括：时间、地点、人物、事件起因、经过、结果。时间、地点、人物这三个要素考生易于获取，至于事件,考生必须理清事件的起因和事件的发展过程。具体地讲，在阅读材料时要用笔在原文中标记能描述事件发展过程或者表明作者态度和观点的关键词(主要是名词、动词、形容词和副词)，以备高效快捷地梳理故事线索。第二步：十句五定意思是按10句话来写，每段5句，加起来刚好字数也是150字左右。其中5句是有相对固定的句式和内容；另外5句根据文章的内容拓展来写。应该说这是一个相对稳妥的结构。从上图不难看出，第一句和第六句，主要是根据P1和P2的提示句来写。而第五句要求和P2的提示句无缝衔接。而第九句主要是给出一个明确的，大团圆的结局，并且要和首段呼应，解决首段提出的问题。比如材料一开始提到做蛋糕，那么在第九句中应该说明蛋糕是否做成了，而且结果要符合积极正面的价值观。第三步：补充细节除了有固定内容的五句，剩余的句子需要考生通过上下文，进行细节描写，并且写出关键情节。情节不是越曲折离奇就越好，而是应该和前后文形成合理的逻辑顺序。按照这个步骤去写，基本可以保证不交白卷。后面有时间会继续分享各种句式的具体写法，依然还是有框架的句子给大家参考，只要能分得清句子成分，就能把句子写好。有需要的同学，可以用下面的专项训练，参考以上的方法着手练习。记住——再好的方法，没有训练，不过是空中楼阁。进阶技能（2023年1月全国卷）Iwasinvitedtoacookoutonanoldfriend'sfarminwesternWashington.Iparkedmycaroutsidethefarmandwalkedpastamilkinghousewhichhadapparentlynotbeenusedinmanyyears.Anoiseatawindowcaughtmyattention,soIenteredit.Itwasahummingbird(蜂鸟),desperatelytryingtoescape.Shewascoveredinspiderwebs(蛛网)andwasbarelyabletomoveherwings.SheceasedherstruggletheinstantIpickedherup.Withthebirdinmycuppedhand,Ilookedaroundtoseehowshehadgottenin.Thebrokenwindowglasswasthelikelyanswer.Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.WhenIopenedmyhand,thebirddidnotflyaway;shesatlookingatmewithherbrighteyes.Iremovedthestickyspiderwebsthatcoveredherheadandwings.Still,shemadenoattempttofly.Perhapsshehadbeenstrugglingagainstthewindowtoolongandwastootired?Ortoothirsty?AsIcarriedheruptheblackberrylinedpathtowardmycarwhereIkeptawaterbottle,shebegantomove.Istopped,andshesoontookwingbutdidnotimmediatelyflyaway.Hovering(悬停),sheapproachedwithinsixinchesofmyface.Foraverylongmoment,thistinycreaturelookedintomyeyes,turningherheadfromsidetoside.Thensheflewquicklyoutofsight.Duringthecookout,Itoldmyhostsaboutthehummingbirdincident.Theypromisedtofixthewindow.AsIwasdeparting,myfriendswalkedmetomycar.Iwasstandingbythecarwhenahummingbirdflewtothecenterofourgroupandbeganhovering.Sheturnedfrompersontopersonuntilshecametome.Sheagainlookeddirectlyintomyeyes,thenletoutasqueakingcallandwasgone.Foramoment,allwerespeechless.Thensomeonesaid,“Shemusthaveetosaygoodbye.”Paragraph1:

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Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.二、写作步骤与思路读后续写考查三方面能力。一是对记叙文体的阅读理解能力；二是由读到写的思维能力，主要是逻辑思维能力和创造性思维能力；三是记叙文的写作能力，主要体现在遣词造句和篇章结构布局的能力。1月卷“读后续写”的体裁、长度均与浙江省前几年的高考一致，唯一不同的是所给短文没有了用下划线标示的十个关键词。提供的语料是“我”意外救了一只被蜘蛛网所困的蜂鸟，由此，这只蜂鸟与“我”相识，并有了待写的后续情节。下面我以这篇读后续写为例，谈一谈我针对高考“读后续写”的解题步骤与写作思路。1．读（怎么读、读什么）既然被称为“读后续写”，自然是先读后写。我们在教学生读后续写时，首先要让学生学习阅读故事。学生读明白了，他自然就写出来了。阅读的能力越强，写作的能力就越强。但问题是很多学生不会读故事，而我们老师又没有特别地去指导学生如何读故事，因此学生写不好“读后续写”是很自然的结果。那关于读后续写的故事应该怎么读？读什么？（1）读懂情节：首先通过浏览读懂情节。本文情节：I;oldfriend’sfarm;walk;milkinghouse,hummingbird,coveredinspiderwebs;brokenwindow;savethebird;hover;lookintomyeyes;flyaway;promise;fix;depart;hummingbird;hover;lookintomyeyes;squeakingcall;gone在读懂情节后，最好再读一遍，找出并标出你认为关乎情节发展的主要关键词。我是这么做的，而且发现它对我的内容构思与写作极有帮助，因此我也建议大家尝试一下。（2）理解细节任何一部好作品都有它的言外之意。好的作家的思想都是从细微处体现出来的。在阅读的过程中，我们必须对有关细节加以认真思考，如：第二段中的：Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.思考：WhydidIclosethedoorsecurely?（以防其它小动物误入而遇到危险）好的作家总是由人物的动态出发，让读者自己去体会小说人物的心理。最后一段：Duringthecookout,Itoldmyhostsaboutthehummingbirdincident.Theypromisedtofixthewindow.思考：WhydidImentionthehummingbirdincidenttothehosts?要读出故事中主要人物的境界。它是故事的灵魂。倒数第二段：Hovering(悬停),sheapproachedwithinsixinchesofmyface.Foraverylongmoment,thistinycreaturelookedintomyeyes,turningherheadfromsidetoside.Thensheflewquicklyoutofsight.思考：Whydidthehummingbirdlookintomyeyesforaverylongmomentbeforeflyingaway?（它是通过仔细观察我的眼睛来记住我的。）最后一段：Sheturnedfrompersontopersonuntilshecametome.Sheagainlookeddirectlyintomyeyes,thenletoutasqueakingcallandwasgone.思考：Why?（它是通过仔细观察我的眼睛来认出我的）由此，我们可以推断出蜂鸟要辨识一个人，它首先得悬停在这个人的脸前，然后通过仔细观察这个人的眼睛来确定这个人是谁。由此，我们也可以推断出蜂鸟在飞行的过程中见到一个人，它是不可能一下子就认出这个人是谁的。原文结尾：Foramoment,allwerespeechless.Thensomeonesaid,“Shemusthaveetosaygoodbye.”思考：Whatcanweinferfromtheperson’swords?（它可能就是来道别的，但它的这一行为举动又暗示着什么？）小说的抒情有它特殊的修辞，它反而是不抒情的，有时候甚至相反，控制感情。面对情感，小说不宜“抒发”，只宜“传递”。只有理解了关键性的细节，才能确定人物的后续行为与故事的发展方向，从而保证了续写内容与原文的融洽度。2．写（写什么、怎么写）完成了阅读，接下去就是构思内容。内容构思要注意遵循三个基本原则：合理、融洽、丰富。（1）合理：续写的情节是靠你自己创造出来的，但情节创造必须符合逻辑。你所创造的情节可以是“意料之外”，但必须是“情理之中”。有事就有情，但人物的情感必须做到“发乎于情，止乎于理”。（2）融洽：一是主题必须与原文主题融洽。如果你真正读懂了原文，特别是那些关键细节，你应该意识到本文的主题是关于“人对动物的关爱与动物对人的感恩”。二是情节必须与原文主要情节融洽。原文的主要情节是作者与蜂鸟的故事；因此续写部分必须紧紧围绕着我与蜂鸟来写。三是语言与原文保持融洽。语言融洽不是指照搬照抄原文中的某些句子，而是指借用原文中决定情节发展的一些关键词。如walk,hover,lookintomyeyes,flyaway等。这也是我为什么建议大家标示关键词的原因。（3）丰富：一是情节要丰富，要有张力，要感人。二是语言要丰富，通过词汇与语法结构的有效运用，使你的情节描写变得生动，具有画面感。下面我介绍一下对于这篇读后续写我是怎么构思内容和怎么写的。每次我讲写作，第一强调的是内容，第二是结构，最后才是语言。构思的内容不合理，就意味着内容错了。内容错了，结构与语言都无从谈起。Paragraph1:

Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.我相信每一位老师看了给出句后，都会思考我为什么又一次去朋友的农场。对于需经过思考才能确定的内容，我有一个习惯：做“头脑风暴”。关于目的，我给自己提出了三个选项：A.去找蜂鸟；B.去检查窗户；C.去做客。然后我用“合理性原则”去选择其中的一项。如果你写的情节在可能性上出了问题，那么，你写的东西就“不成立”。确定了段落内容发展方向后，我开始构思具体情节。（1）原文告诉我们我把车停在农场外，然后是步行，途中经过了amilkinghouse。原文中还提到了blackberrylinedpath，因此到达农场后，我也应该是沿着这条blackberrylinedpath步行前往朋友的房子，途中经过themilkinghouse。这样我的第一句为：Followingtheblackberrylinedpath,Iwalkedpastthemilkinghouse.语法结构上应用了现在分词作状语。（2）原文中提及了朋友承诺把窗修好以及我把门牢牢关好。通过细节理解我们知道这两个行为都是出于对动物的关爱，是为了防止鸟或其它动物误闯进屋而遭遇不测。所以，当我经过themilkinghouse时自然留意了一下这两个地方，看到窗已修好，门也锁好。因此我的第二句为：Aswaspromised,thewindowwasalreadyfixedandthedoorsecurelylocked.语法结构上应用了非限制性定语从句，被动语态及省略。借用了原文中的：promise,fix,securely。（3）看到了窗，我突然想起了那只曾被困在蜘蛛网中的蜂鸟。所以我的第三句为：Atthatmoment,Isuddenlyrememberedthatlovelyhummingbirdwhichhadbeentrappedinspiderwebs.语法结构上用了限制性定语从句和过去完成时的被动语态。（4）伴随着我的“想起”，是我对它的关切。所以我的第四句是：Wassheallright?（5）原文最后一段中生动地描述了当我离开时这只蜂鸟特意飞来见我，所以此时此刻我也希望能再见到它。为了与原文保持融洽，我的第五句是：Wouldsheetoseemeagain?（6）伴随着这样的想法，我就四处张望，四处不见其踪影。我抬头看天，希望见到它在天空中飞翔。因此我的第六句为：Eagerly,Ilookedaroundandthenupatthesky.（为了表现我对它的关切与期待，用了eagerly）（7）根据第二段给出句的提示，我知道本段中我一定没有见到这只蜂鸟，但我又是非常希望与它再次相逢。没有相逢，我的心情自然是失落，所以第七句是：Tomydisappointment,therewasnocreatureinsight.（应用了toone’sdisappointment这个短语）.（8）一是为了自我安慰，二是为了与下一段首句衔接，三是为了与本文的主题相融洽，本段的结尾我写了：Ilaughedatmyself,“HowcouldabirdrememberwhatIhavedoneforher?”（自嘲我的自作多情）Paragraph

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Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.（1）通过对原文最后一段蜂鸟的行为举动的理解可知，蜂鸟心中有我，很有人性。如我路过milkinghouse时会希望与它再次相逢一样，它一样期盼着与我再次相遇。当它看到milkinghouse附近有一个人时，也一定希望就是它期盼相见的那个人。所以它的行为首先是快速向我飞来，然后是辨识。因此这一段我的第一句是：Shefliedquicklytomeandhoveredinfrontofmyface,lookingintomyeyes.（语法结构上用了现在分词短语作伴随状语，借用了原文中的hoverinfrontofmyface,lookintomyeyes）（2）此情此境，我的心情：Iwasoverjoyed.（3）写到这里，我陷入了长考。我脑子里首先出现的写作思路是：直接就写我与蜂鸟之间的互动。比如说，蜂鸟认出了我，向我叫唤，由此我也意识到这只蜂鸟就是那只蜂鸟，于是我就伸出双手，让它停在我的手掌上，一边轻轻抚摸它，一边喃喃细语，等等。但我总感觉到这样的描写，情节显得过于平淡，没有矛盾，没有波澜，缺乏像原文最后一段那种动人心弦的张力。正是因为意识到了这一点，所以我再次回读原文的最后一段。最后一段中蜂鸟的再次出现，可以说是原文中最为感人之处。通过对蜂鸟这一“意料之外，情理之中”的一系列行为举动的细腻描写，不但揭示了本文的主题，而且也拨动了读者的心弦。至少我本人读到此处就感到鼻子发酸。在这一启发下，我摒弃了最初的构思，开始思考如何创造意外，制造矛盾冲突，更好地表现本文的主题：动物也是有人性的，动物也是知道感恩的，动物真的值得我们关爱。相由心生。语句是相，思想情感是心。以下就是我心所生之相：However,theinstantIstretchedoutmyhandstogreether,shefliedawayandsoondisappearedintothewoodsnearby.（矛盾冲突）Somesadnesswelledupinmyheart.（情绪变化）Thensomethingunbelievablehappened.（过渡）HardlyhadIreturnedtothepath,Iheardasqueakingcallfromabove.Ilookedup.Therecamethehummingbird,togetherwithtwoevensmallerbirds.（意外）Ledbytheirmother,thetwolittlechildrenlandedonmycuppedhands.Justastheirmotherhaddonebefore,theylookeddirectlyintomyeyeswiththeirbrighteyes.Iwasspeechless,