读后续写之助人篇穿错衣服课件高英语作文复习专项

1.本题总分为25分，按七个档次进行评分。2.评分时，主要从内容、语言表达和篇章结构三个方面考查，具体为：（1）续写内容的质量、续写的完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。（2）所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性。（3）上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。3.评分时还应注意:（1）词数少于120的，酌情扣分；（2）单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受；（3）书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分。1.不随意增加主要人物2.不添加与原文脱节的细节3.避免频繁使用对话4.段落与两段首句保持一致性，衔接有逻辑，第一段内容与文章衔接紧密，第一段最后一句与第二段开头呼应衔接，第二段最后一句总结升华主题5.续写内容传播正能量弘扬社会主义核心价值观。如迷路了但最终一定回到了家；失败了或遇到困难了，但最终一定成功了；吵架了但最后一定是言归于好,和睦相处；犯错了，最后一定会改过自新，重新做人；贼逃了，最后一定是绳之以法等等。四个步骤2.细读首句，构思框架仔细阅读所给两段的首句，结合正能量结尾，思考大致框架。1.读懂大意，理清脉络读所给的不完整故事，弄清大意和主题，理清故事的主要人物和事件。4.修改润色，整洁誊写思考再三，把修正润色后的续写整洁地写入答卷。3.增加细节，开始写作依据情节发展和常识，在确定的框架内，可按“所见/遇所想，所为所感”等构思具体细节。Characters:Who,Events:What(when,where,how,why)环境描写,语言描写,动作描写,情绪描写,心理描写,检查错误升级句式注意三个衔接1.阅读所给文章，以及两句段首句，整理补充主要情节线。When时间Where地点Who主要人物What事件WhyHow1.阅读所给文章，以及两句段首句，整理补充主要情节线。BeginningBuild-upConflictResolutionEnding2.根据情节线，扩充相应的细节。心理描写动作描写环境描写点明主题多个角度Iandtheotherfiftygirlssatonthechairsinthegymofmymiddleschool.Wewaitedthereforthecoachtogivetheresultsofthecompetitionforrolesascheerleaders(啦啦队队员).Onebyone,eachgirlleftherseat,jumpingupanddownastheirnumberwascalledout.“WillIbeoneofthem?”Iwondered.Iwasgettingmorenervous,andeachsecondfeltlikeacentury.“Numberseventeen,”thecoachcalledout.Hearingit,Ijumpedrightawayfrommyseat.AndIranovertostandnexttothegirlswhohadbeenchosentobecheerleaders.Wesmiledandhuggedeachotherbecausewebecamemembersofthe10-girlcheerleadingteam.动作描写，现在分词做伴随状语心理描写，夸张动作描写Duringthefollowingdays,Iandtheotherninecheerleaderspracticedfortheperformance.Weweredressedinourblueuniformsbeforetheupcomingsportsmeeting.ItwasgoingtobeheldonaFridaymorning.However,thenightbeforethesportsmeeting,Igotverynervous,andworriedwhatifImadeamessintheperformance.Itriedtocomfortmyself,“Youcanmakeit.Justcalmdownandrelax.”Thenextmorning,myparentslefthomeforworkandIhurriedtogotoschool.时间心理描写Unluckily,whenIarrivedatschool,Ifoundtheotherninecheerleaderswereallintheirwhiteuniforms.ButIwasstillinmyblueuniform.AtonceIrealisedIhadmadeamistake:wearingthewronguniform.Therewasnotmuchtimeleftbeforethecheerleadingperformancestarted.WhatshouldIdo?Bothmyteammembersandthecoachwereworried.ThenacheerleadercalledTammyofferedtohelpme.Shesaid,“Myhomeisquiteclosetoourschool.MaybeIcouldgivemymotheracall.Sheisathomenow.ShecoulddriveJanetoherhome,soJanecanchangeheruniformquickly.”冲突1.阅读所给文章，以及两句段首句，整理补充主要情节线。WhenWhereWhoWhatWhyHowFridaymorning，表演当天学校、家I，Jammy，Jammy’smom我穿错了制服（白色--蓝色）表演前我很焦虑，早上匆忙赶到学校ThecoachallowedTammytogiveitatry.Ijoinedtheothergirlsforthecheerleadingperformance.Tammy给她妈妈打电话，她妈妈同意，并带我回去成功换好衣服。表演过程，表演结果，升华主题。续写的主要内容BeginningBuild-upConflictResolutionEnding我加入啦啦队。我和大家一起努力训练，表演前一天我很紧张。我在表演当天穿错了制服，而且表演很快要开始。Jammy的妈妈带我回家换制服。我顺利参加演出。续写部分ThecoachallowedTammytogiveitatry.

扩充主要内容Tammy给她妈妈打电话，她妈妈同意，并带我回去成功换好衣服。Tammy马上打电话给她妈妈。她妈妈同意了，并在五分钟后赶来学校。在路上我很紧张，忍不住想要是迟到怎么办？到家后，我飞快下车，冲进我的房间，并换好衣服。最终，我们及时赶到学校。我向Tammy妈妈道谢，然后跑向队友。加形容词副词，丰富表达加细节加心理描写，呼应文章加连续动作描写最后一句，衔接下一段Ijoinedtheothergirlsforthecheerleadingperformance.

扩充主要内容表演过程，表演结果，升华主题。舞台上，我有些紧张，但想到我付出的努力，我深吸一口气然后开始表演。我和我的队友欢呼，跳上跳下，最终完成了表演。观众台上，所有人欢呼鼓掌。我们教练笑着看着我们。那一刻，喜悦感向我袭来。表演过后，我再次向Tammy和她妈妈表达了我的感谢。正是她们的帮助我才没有错过这次机会。加心理描写，呼应文章加动作描写从众人表现写表演成功感受的变化点明主题ThecoachallowedTammytogiveitatry.

表达Tammy马上打电话给她妈妈。她妈妈同意了，并在五分钟后赶来学校。在路上我很紧张，忍不住想要是迟到怎么办？到家后，我飞快下车，冲进我的房间，并换好衣服。最终，我们及时赶到学校。我向Tammy妈妈道谢，然后跑向队友。callhermom/quickly/atonce/immediatelycouldn’thelpdoingsth. 忍不住做...whatif...? 要是...怎么办？rushto/runto 冲向/跑向intime 及时ThecoachallowedTammytogiveitatry.

表达舞台上，我有些紧张，但想到我付出的努力，我深吸一口气然后开始表演。我和我的队友欢呼，跳上跳下，最终完成了表演。观众台上，所有人欢呼鼓掌。我们教练笑着看着我们。那一刻，喜悦感向我袭来。我再次向Tammy和她妈妈表达了我的感谢。正是她们的帮助我才没有错过这次机会。takeadeepbreath 深吸一口气cheer欢呼jumpupanddown 跳上跳下inthestands 观众台上lookatsb.withsmileasenseofjoycameovermeItis/was强调部分that其他部分ThecoachallowedTammytogiveitatry.

Tammycalledhermomatonce.Hermomagreedandcametotheschoolfiveminuteslater.Onourwayhome,Icouldn’thelpthinkingwhatifIwaslatefortheperformance?Aftercomingbackmyhome,Igotoffthecarquickly,rushedintomyroomandputonmywhiteuniform.Luckily,wecametotheschoolintime.IthankedforTammy’smomandranovertomyroommates.Ijoinedtheothergirlsforthecheerleadingperformance.Standingonthestage,Ifeltalittlenervous,butthinkingabouttheeffortsIpaid,Itookadeepbreathandthenfocusedontheperformance.MyteammatesandIcheered,jumpedupanddownandfinishedtheperformance.Inthestands,everyonecheeredandclapped.Ourcoachlooedatuswithsmile.Atthatmoment,asenseofjoycameoverme.Afterit,IexpressedmythankstoTammyandhermom.ItwasbecauseoftheirhelpthatIdidn’tmissthechance.如何审题:Trytofind5W+1H(when,where,who,what,why,how)Marywaitedanxiouslyforherturnintheemptydressingroomnever.Neverhadshebeensoseriousbefore.Thiscompetitionwasofvitalimportanceto

hercomeback."If

I

canwintoday,"shesaidto

herself."Icandanceonthenationalstagenextmonth.

Threemonths

ago,

herleft

armwasseriously

injured

in

a

caraccident.

Afterthemedicaltreatment,she

begantorecoverslowly.

Shepracticed

overandoveragaininordertoregainherdancingskills.＂Hi，Mary.＂inrushedherfriendJessica.＂Howisyourarm?

Isitgoingtoinfluenceyour

performance?”"IguessitcanbetoleratedforIamtowinthematch."saidMarywithadeterminedlook.

"Admirable!

ButIhearthatagirlcalledLindaisreallygiftedandstrong.

Shecanbeyourrealwell-matchedcompetitor.

Comeon!"AfterJessicaleft,

Marydecidedtopracticehermostdifficultspin.

"IfIdon'ttryharder,

Iwon't

graspthischance."Shethought.

Butherarmbegantohurt,

makingherworried.

"Mary,

whatmakes

youthinkyouhaveachancetonight?"shesaidtoherself.

Afterthepainwasgone,shecontinuedto

warmup.Aslimgirlhurriedinandputdownanequipmentbagonthechair.

Then,

shetookoutherdance

dressquicklyandputitonskillfully.

SeeingMary,

shesmiledpolitelyandsaid,"Hi,I'mLinda.Iam

thenextone!"

Marynoddedinreplybutfeltuncomfortable.

"Thisisjustmycompetitor.

Becauseof

her,

Imaylosetonight."

HermindwaswanderingwhenLindaletoutascream,

"Oh

,God,

Ican'tfind

mymusictape!"

Lindasearchedherbagbutinvain.

"Itmaybemissingontheway."

Withthesewords,

shethenrushedout.WhoMary(主角）,Linda(主角的竞争对手），Jessica（主角的好朋友）WhenbeforegoingonthestageWhereintheemptydressingroomwhatprepareforherimportantperformance------knowLindaisherwell-matchedcompetitor-----see

LindarushouttolookforhermusictapewhyMarywantedtowintodanceonthenationalstagenextmonthhowMarypractisedhardinspiteofherinjuredarm读两段提示语-------构建情节线Paragraph1:

Suddenly,

MarycaughtsightofablackboxunderthechairwhereLindaputherbag.Paragraph2:Hearinghernamecalled,

Marywalkedonthestagewithherheartbeatingfasterand

faster.两读之后定主题------积极向上正能量Thoughshedidn’twininthematch,shewasproudofherself,becauseshewontheadmirationofthechampion.(ByMachaoyang）

如何读/审题:

读原文-------5Ws+1HKindness/Helpingeachothercouldleadtosuccess.构思合理的情节----一主两线四个点一个主题

（theme）两条线：情感线

（theemotionline）

情节线（theplotline）四个衔接点：第一段续写首句

(P1①)

第一段结束语

(P1②)

第二段续写首句(P2①)

第二段结束语

(P2②)编一个好故事需要一个好结构如何续写:

Suddenly,MarycaughtsightofablackboxunderthechairwhereLindaputherbag.ShewentoverandthenopenedtheboxtofindLinda'stapewasjustinside.Atthismoment,anideaflashedthroughhermind,“Withouthermusictape,Lindawillsurelylose.”Atthethoughtofthis,Marytrembledslightly.“Afterpracticingso