读后续写之叙述与描写-2025届高三下学期英语二轮复习专项

读后续写中的“描写”什么是描写PARTONEDescriptionispaintingapictureinwordsofaperson,place,objectorscene.Adescriptionessayisgenerallydevelopedthroughsensorydetails,ortheimpressionsofone’ssenses--sight,hearing,taste,smellandtouch.描写是通过对各种感官的细节描述来刻画人、事与物。描写≠叙述叙述只需要陈述事情的来龙去脉和前因后果。Whatisdescription?1.WhenHassanwascrying,Itriedmybesttocomforther.2.Later,inthedark,afterthemoviehadstarted,IheardHassannexttome,croaking.Tearswereslidingdownhercheeks.Ireachedacrossmyseat,slungmyarmaroundher,pulledherclose.识别描写与叙述1.Hermoistenedeyesbetrayedherunconcernedposture.2.Shelostcontrolandthetearsbegantoflow.3.Withtearsstreamingdownherface,wordsfailedher.4.Shewouldcry,kickandlieonthefloordrummingwithtears.5.Shewascryingwhesheheardtheterriblenews.6.SherodetherestofthewayhomewearingaMonaLisaofpeaceandgrace.7.TheyroaredwithlaughterandHarrysettledbackinhisseat,grinningfromeartoear.8.AsIstanditback,ahugesmilespreadsacrossherface,whichlightsupmygloomyafternoon.9.Excitementtookmybreathawaywhenhebrokethenewstome.10.IwasveryangrywhenIgotthenews.识别描写与叙述DDDDNDDDNTwentyyearsago,Idroveataxiforaliving.OnenightIwenttopickupapassengerat2:30a.m.WhenIarrivedtocollect,Ifoundthebuildingwasdarkexceptforasinglelightinagroundfloorwindow.Iwalkedtothedoorandknocked.“Justaminute,”answeredaweak,elderlyvoice.Afteralongtime,thedooropened.Asmallwomaninhereightiesstoodbeforeme.Byhersidewasasmallsuitcase.Itookthesuitcasetothecar,andthenreturnedtohelpthewoman.Shetookmyarmandwewalkedslowlytowardsthecar.Shekeptthankingmeformykindness.“It’snothing,”Itoldher.“IjusttrytotreatmypassengersthewayIwouldwantmymothertreated.”“Oh,you’resuchagoodman.”Shesaid.Whenwegotintothetaxi,shegavemeanaddress,andthenasked,“Couldyoudrivethroughdowntown?”“It’snottheshortestway,”Iansweredquickly.“Oh,I’minnohurry,”shesaid.“I’monmywaytoahospice(临终医院).Idon’thaveanyfamilyleft.ThedoctorsaysIdon’thaveverylongtime.”Iquietlyshutoffthemeter(计价器).Forthenexttwohours,wedrovethroughthecity.Sheshowedmethebuildingwhereshehadonceworked,theneighborhoodwhereshehadlived,andthefurnitureshopthathadoncebeenaballroomwhereshehadgonedancingasagirl.Sometimesshe’daskmetoslowdowninfrontofaparticularbuildingandwouldsitstaringintothedarkness,sayingnothing.Atdawn,shesuddenlysaid,“I’mtired.Let’sgonow.”Wedroveinsilencetotheaddressshehadgivenme.“HowmuchshallIgiveyou?”sheasked.“Nothing,”Isaid.“Youhavetomakealiving,”sheanswered.“Oh,thereareotherpassengers,”Ianswered.Shesaidthankstome,butshelookedsosad.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Almostwithoutthinking,Ibentandgaveherahug.Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.案例11.找出属于描写和叙述的句子Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.

①AndIcouldseetheparticularbuildingsshehadtoldmeandtooksomephotos.②AsIreachedthehospital,thedoctorinchargetoldmethatshewashealthyandrelaxedandwhereshewas.③WhenIwentintoherroom,Ifoundshewassleepinggently,soIputthephotosandfreshfruitsandflowersonherdesk.④Sayingnothing,Ileftanotewrittenmynumberandwentoutofthehospice.⑤ThenIkeptondrivingataxitomakealivingandspreadingmylovetoothers.全都是叙述该段落在故事的逻辑性、完整性和衔接程度上没有问题。但是该段落有11个“流水”动作和4个场景的切换(路上，到医院，去房间，离开)。快速的场景切换如走马观花。过多的动作分布于零散的时空之中，使得它们缺乏外在的连贯与内在的联系，同时分散了对主要场景即在医院房间和老人再次见面的刻画，难以触动人心。如何定位描写PARTTWO1.树立定位意识抓住文章主旨根据两段首句找到两个切入点(如人，物，地点),从两个切入点出发分别选一个场景，有针对性地直指主旨对人、事、物展开充分描写2.定位描写策略根据主要人物动作定位(What)根据主要人物心情定位(Changesofemotions)叙述与描写共进案例2Thenextday,Iwasonmywaytovisither.AndIcouldseetheparticularbuildingsshehadtoldmeandtooksomephotos.Hertwinklingeyesseemedblinkinginmymind,asmileliftingthecornerofmymouth.Carryingwithoverwhelmedexpectation,Ifinallyreachedherroom.Delightmorethansurprise,shewelcomedmewarmly,eventheairwasrefreshedwithhappiness.Undoubtedly,thosephotosaffordedusabrightafternoon.Sayingnothing,shereluctantlywavedgoodbyetome.1.文章主旨是什么？2.该段落的重心也就是切入点是？3.该段落的场景是？4.勾画描写句子5.这个段落的描写如何？人与人间的关怀与爱我>老人定位在我到医院-在医院房间1.重心偏离2.描写不生动形象，不太到位文章主线：主要人物+主要事件+事件发生场景(主旨)精准定位：定位场景是什么?

描写重心是什么？

定位描写策略根据主要人物动作定位(What)根据主要人物心情定位(Changesofemotions)定位描写策略Iwentuptotheroofforabreakafterstudyingforanhourandwatchedthe50orsopeopleswimminginthenaturalrockpoolbelowourhouse.Itwasasunnyday—ablue,cloudlessskyoveracalmsea.Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.I’dseenthesemini-tsunamis(海啸)manytimesbefore.Theywereheadingatspeedinthedirectionofthepool.Mostpeopleknewtolookoutforthem,butfromthescreamsthatstartedcomingfromthebeach,Icouldtellsomeonewasintrouble.Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard(俯伏冲浪板)onthewayandshoutedatastrangertogoinsidemyhouseandcallthecoastguard.MyneighbourMoiseshadheardthescreamingaswellandwasalsooutsidewithhisbodyboard,sotogetherwerushedtothestepsthatleddowntothesea.Oncewegotcloser,wediscoveredthewaveshadpulledaboyandagirlfromthepoolandintotheopensea.Iknewthatthenearestboatwouldtakeatleast30minutestoreachus.Waitingforhelpwasn'tachoice.Iwasn'tusedtothissortofemergency—I'dneverbeentrainedasalifeguard一butIdidn'tthinktwiceabouttryingtosavethem.IsupposeinawayIwantedtoimpresseveryone;at19,adeallikethatca