Unit1Natureinthebalance同读写作之后续写课件高中英语牛津译林版

Unit1Natureinthebalance译林版2020必修第三册读后续写：与环境保护相关读话题写作文高一下

LearningobjectivesAttheendofclass,youwillbeableto：1.指导学生准确确定文本、时空、人物和事由；2.指导学生谋篇布局，故事情节衔接自然，叙事完整；3.指导学生遣词造句，言语得体。12技法点拨

目录CONTENTS

写作实践

技法点拨：

如何衔接关键节点01(1)运用“形容词作状语+谓语动词+非谓语”。①Becauseshewasexcitedanddelighted,shejumpeduphighandswungherarmsintheair.②Excitedanddelighted,shejumpeduphigh,swingingherarmsintheair.【分析】①和②都对人物的情感和动作进行了描写，但是②使用了非谓语，使句子看起来更加精简，结构清晰。使用这种句式结构，需要注意保持主语一致。(2)使用“独立主格结构”或“with的复合结构”。①Shepushedthedooropenandwalkedin.Herheartwaspoundinglikedrums.②Herheartpoundinglikedrums,shepushedthedooropenandwalkedin.【分析】①和②都对人物的情感和动作进行了描写，但是②使用了独立主格结构，使句子更精简，句式更有层次感。1.续写第一段第二句衔接第一段首句，续写第二段第二句衔接第二段首句，描述主要人物的情感与动作(3)描写“动作链”。①Janerubbedhereyes.Thenshegatheredherstrengthtostandup.②Janerubbedhereyes,gatheredupallherstrengthandstruggledtoherfeet.【分析】①和②都描述了Jane的动作，但是②使用了动作链，在主语一样的情况下，②显得动作如行云流水，一气呵成，更具有画面感。(4)使用“无灵主语”技巧。①Shefeltsohopelessandhertearsstreameddownherface.②Asenseofhopelessnessengulfedherlikeagiantbeast,withtearsstreamingdownherface.【分析】①和②都描写了人物的情感，但②使用了无灵主语，更加生动地体现了人物的绝望，更能吸引人的眼球。(1)分析段首句的关键信息，理清主语、宾语或者表语。Aftertheyleft,IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.(2021年八省联考续写第二段首句）【分析】通读全文，发现they指的是墨西哥一家人，thepaperbag用了定冠词the，说明上文必须提到paperbag，因此续写第一段尾句可以写“Holdingthepaperbagtheygavemeinhand,Iwavedtothefamilywithgreatgratitude.”这样续写第一段尾句就与续写第二段首句前后照应，文章衔接也更加连贯了。(2)分析续写段首句关键词，添加环境、心理或情感描写。ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.(2016年10月浙。江卷续写第二段段首句）【分析】原文讲述的是Tom和Jane夫妻俩在野外吵架后迷路的故事，续写第二段首句的daybreak说明Jane在野外度过了一晚，因此上一段的尾句可以描述野外环境以及Jane最后累得睡着的情景，如“Notinawhile,darknessruledtheforest.Anxiousasshewas,shecouldn'thelpfallingasleepwithtearsinhereyes.”2.续写第一段最后一句，总结第一段、衔接续写第二段首句，起承上启下作用。(1)提炼主题式结尾①倒装句：OnlythendidIrealizethattheyhelpothersnotformoneybutforthehappinessofhelpingpeopleinneed.②否定词+比较级：Nothingismoreimportantthanlendingahelpinghandtopeopleinneed.(2)情感升华式结尾Ingreatdelight,Mikesprangtohisfeet,throwinghisarmsaroundhisdad,hisheartswellingwithgratitude.(3)环境渲染式结尾①Bathedinthegoldensunshineandgentlebreeze,theygazedateachotherhandinhand.②Gradually,theglisteningmoonlightruledtheair,lightingthedarkwayhome.3.续写第二段最后一句，交代故事结局并升华主旨大意写作实践：

环境保护相关读后续写02阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

MaggieandAlexliveinatallbuildinginaneighbourhoodinthecenterofthecity.Therearenotreesneartheirbuilding,buttheyarehappyintheirhomeanditisclosetotheirjobs.Inthepartofthecitywheretheylive,thereisnotmuchfreshfoodtobuy.Thestoresonlyhaveprocessedfoodsinpackages.MaggieandAlexandalltheotherpeopleinthebuildinghavetoeatfoodthattheybuyinboxesandplasticcontainers.Thismakessomuchgarbagethatnooneknowswheretoputit.WhiletheywaitforFridays,whenthecitycollectsthegarbage,alltheneighboursputtheirtrashintobagsandsometimesleaveitinthehallwayoronthebig,sunnyroof.Thewholebuildinglooksterrible.Noonecanspendtimeplayingontheroofbecauseitisfulloftrash.Oneday,MaggieandAlexdecidetomakeachange.Theygouptotheroofandseparatealltherecyclablegarbage,likecardboard,plasticbottles,glass,andaluminumcans.Thentheytakeallofthegarbagedowntothestreetforthegarbagecollectors.Buttheydonotcarrydowntheplasticbottles!Theycutoffthetopsandusethemaspotstoplanttomatoesandcarrots.Theyplantherbs,too.典例赏析注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Para.1:MaggieandAlextelltheirneighboursabouttheirproject.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para.2:Nowtherooflooksbeautifullikeagarden.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________22第一步：读透文本1.主题分析本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了Maggie和Alex对所居住社区所作出的绿色改变，并且让整个社区都从中受益。2.情节梳理：故事要素即故事的人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过和结果，也就是我们常说的“5W1H”。要

素内容whenOnedaywhereInatallbuildinginaneighbourhoodinthecenterofthecitywhoMaggie;AlexandneighboursWhatMaggieandAlexdecidetomakeachange.Theygouptotheroofandseparatealltherecyclablegarbage,likecardboard,plasticbottles,glass,andaluminumcans.WhyThewholebuildinglooksterrible.Noonecanspendtimeplayingontheroofbecauseitisfulloftrash.How?22第二步：构建情节1.构思续写两段情节①由第一段首句内容“MaggieandAlextelltheirneighboursabouttheirproject.Maggie和Alex把他们的计划告诉了邻居。”可知，第一段可描写邻居知道他们的计划后，很高兴，并且参与到他们的计划中去。续写第一段第二句可以添加一组动作链来描写主要人物的情感与动作。分析第二段首句“Nowtherooflooksbeautifullikeagarden.现在屋顶看起来像花园一样漂亮。”可知，续写第一段最后一句可添加作者心理描写来衔接续写第二段首句并承上启下。思路点拨②由第二段首句内容“Nowtherooflooksbeautifullikeagarden.现在屋顶看起来像花园一样漂亮。”可知，第二段可描写Maggie和Alex以及他们的邻居享受这个被改变的环境，并开始注意保护环境。根据续写技巧可知，续写第二段第二句我们可以使用“无灵主语”技巧来描写作者当时的激动或高兴的心情，最后一句则可以用一个情感升华式结尾来交代故事结局并升华主旨大意（见范文）。2.续写线索：发现环境很差——决定改变——邻居参与——享受新环境思路点拨点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语；点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句；点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。情节构建的重点1822第三步：巧用话题词汇、句式完成句子1._______________________(兴奋又高兴),theirneighboursjoinedthemimmediately,___________________(希望他们尽一份力).2.Fromthenon,_______________________________(每当他们下班后或在周末有时),alltheneighboursgouptotheroof.3.Theyenjoythesunand_____________________________(帮忙照料花园里的植物).4._______________________________(兴奋和期待交织在一起包围着)MaggieandAlex;5.Theyleadalltheneighbourstocooperate,and____________________(通过共同努力),theysoonhaveabig,beautifulvegetablegarden!完成句子ExcitedanddelightedhopingtheymadeaneffortWhenevertheyhadfreetimeafterworkorontheweekendshelpedtakecareoftheplantsinthegardenAmixofexcitementandanticipationenvelopedbyworkingtogether6._______________________________________________________(玛吉和亚历克斯内心充满了满足和幸福)astheylookthechanges,shouting“______________(我们做到了)!”7.他们在社区花园里度过时光,享受阳光，产生的垃圾也比以前少了很多。_________________________________________________________________________.8.Infact,theyevensavemoney_______________________________________________________________(因为他们不需要买那么多包装食品).9.Thegardenisarealsuccess,andthebuildinginthecenterofthecityis_____________________________(更加宜居的地方)becauseofit.10.所有的邻居都在保护环境，并为自己彼此改善它。____________________________________________________________________________________________.完成句子AfeelingofsatisfactionandhappinessgrippedMaggieandAlexwemakeitTheyspendtimeintheircommunitygarden,enjoythesun,andcreatemuchlessgarbagebecausetheydonothavetobuysomuchpackagedfoodamuchnicerplacetoliveinAlloftheneighbourssafeguardtheirenvironmentandimproveitforthemselvesandforeachotherMaggieandAlextelltheirneighboursabouttheirproject.Excitedanddelighted,theirneighboursjointhemimmediately,hopingtheymakeaneffort(形容词作状语+谓语动词+非谓语).Fromthenon,whenevertheyhavefreetimeafterworkorontheweekends,alltheneighboursgouptotheroof(时间状语从句).Theyenjoythesunandhelptakecareoftheplantsinthegarden(场景描写).AmixofexcitementandanticipationenvelopedMaggieandAlex;theyleadalltheneighbourstocooperate,andbyworkingtogether,theysoonhaveabig,beautifulvegetablegarden(心理描写；衔接句)!Nowtherooflooksbeautifullikeagarden.AfeelingofsatisfactionandhappinessgrippedMaggieandAlexastheylookthechanges,shouting“wemakeit!”(无灵主语；衔接句).Theyspendtimeintheircommunitygarden,enjoythesun,andcreatemuchlessgarbage(动作链).Infact,theyevensavemoneybecausetheydonothavetobuysomuchpackagedfood.Thegardenisarealsuccess,andthebuildinginthecenterofthecityisamuchnicerplacetolivebecauseofit.Alloftheneighbourssafeguardtheirenvironmentandimproveitforthemselvesandforeachother(主题升华).佳作展现Attheendofthelesson,Iamableto：12345planthelayoutofthestory(theplotisnatural,andthenarrativeisgood)useappropriatewordsandsentencestoexpresswhatIwanttowriteancontinuationwritingproperly.自我评价阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

“Judy,hurryup!Let’sgotothebeach!”Thatwasafamiliarmorningcallfrommyolderbrother,Sirin.Hearingthat,Iwouldspringupquicklyandwewouldsetoffonourjourney.RaisedbyourgrandparentsinSavanna,weexperiencedourhappiestmomentsthere.Nestledbetweenthemountainsandthesea,withitslushgreentrees,crystal-likeocean,andclearbluesky,Savannawaslikeasmallvillagefromafairytale.SirinandIoftenenjoyedthegentleseabreezeasweexploredthebreathtakingcoast,withtheendless,openwaterbesideusandthevast,clearskyoverhead.Wefeltasenseoffreedomtowanderthesandybeachorexperiencetheexcitementofsailingouttosea,delightingintheawe-inspiringbeautyofnature’swonders.Whenwegrewtired,leisurelywalkingonthesoft,warmsandstocollectunique,fascinatingseashellsbroughtusadifferentkindofpeacefuljoy.Thefriendly,warmheartedvillagerstreateduslikefamily,oftensharingtheirfreshly-caughtseafoodwithus.Threeyearslater,weweretakenawayfromthevillagetoreceiveabettereducationbyourparents.Occupiedwithourstudy,werarelyvisitedourbelovedgrandparents,onlycallingthemoccasionally.Wegraduallyadaptedtothefast-pacedcitylifeandfounditmoreefficientandconvenient.Wheneverwehadanappetiteforseafood,ourdadwouldsimplyorderitthroughhisphone,anditwouldbedeliveredtoourdoorstepwithinminutes.Inadditiontoseafood,wecouldorderanythingourheartsdesired,nomatterhowlateitwas.Whatwelovedmostwastheconvenienceofnotneedingtowashthedishesaftereating,astheywerealldisposable,designedforsingleuse.However,deepwithinus,wesometimeslongedforthesimplepleasuresofvillagelife.Weweretoldbyourgrandparentsthatmoreandmoretouristsfloodedintothevillage,whichstrengthenedourdesiretoreturn.So,whentheeagerly-awaitedsummervacationarrivedthisyear,wefinallymadeourdreamtripbacktoourchildhoodparadise.Aftergreetingourgrandparentswithhugsandsmiles,weeagerlyheadedtowardsthesun-kissedseasidetoreliveourcherishedmemories.实战演练注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Para1:However,whatwesawshockedus.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para2:HearingGrandfather’swords,wecouldn’twaittodosomethingtotacklethepollution.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________实战演练注：【思路点拨】见书P50页。

However,

what

we

saw

shocked

us.

Plastic

bags

and

single-usecontainerslitteringthe

beaches,

we

could

hardly

see

any

undersea

creature

in

the

oncecrystal-clearsea(独立主格结构+衔接句).Tomakemattersworse,the

waterwasdarkanddifficulttoseethrough.Because

of

the

unpleasant

smell,

we

had

to

cover

our

noses(场景描写+神态描写).Withtearsblurringourvis