读后续写汕头二模十句五定法课件-高三英语三轮复习专项

十句话搞定读后续写

十句五定法第二节(满分25分)阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

KennethisnowascienceresearcheratHarvardUniversity.Buthefirstcameintothespotlightforabutton-sizedwarningdevicehecreatedat15,onethatgreatlyeasedtheburdenoncaregivers.Backthen,Kennethlivedwithhisfamily,includinghisgrandfather,whohadAlzheimer’sdisease.Lateonenight,hisgrandfatherwasfoundwanderingonahighway.Kenneth’smother,themaincaregiver,hadfallenasleepforonlyafewminutesafterdaysofconstantcare.Seeingherexhaustion,Kennethdecidedtodosomething.Hewantedtokeephisgrandfathersafewhilegivinghismothersomerelief.

Tolearnmore,KennethvisitedalocalcarecenterandmetMs.Brown,theheadofthecenter.ShetoldKenneththatmanyelderlypeoplehadthesameproblem,andtheirfamilieswereundergreatpressureaswell.

Kennethsearchedforadevicethatcouldwarnthecaregiverswhentheelderlyresidentsgotoutofbed.Butnothingonthemarketmettheneeds.Sohewasdeterminedtotakeadvantageofhisstrengthinsciencetomakeonehimself.

Nightafternight,Kennethtestedsensorsandcircuits,butthedesignfailedagainandagain.Yetwheneverhethoughtofhisdemandinggrandfather,histiredmother,andotherelderlypeopleinneed,hereturnedtohisdesk.

Ayearlater,Kennethfinallycreatedapairofsensorsocks.Onenight,hehelpedhisgrandfatherputthemonandwaitedwithhismother.Whenhisgrandfathergotoutofbed,analertsoundedonhismother’sphone.

Overjoyed,hismothersaid,“Youmadeit!Thiswillbeagreathelptome!”Believingthatwhathadhelpedhisfamilymightalsohelpothers,Kennethreturnedtothecarecentertointroducethesocks.Manycaregiversshowedinterest,buttheelderlywerelessenthusiastic.Ms.Brownasked,“Dotheyhavetowearthesockswhilesleeping?”Kennethnodded.“Yes,that’showitworks.”

注意：1．续写词数应为150左右；2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Ms.Brownfrowned,sayingmanyelderlypeoplewerenotusedtosleepingwithsockson._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________WhilereflectingonMs.Brown’ssuggestions,Kennethsuddenlynoticedabutton.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________1、读要素，弄懂故事大意哈佛大学科研员Kenneth十五岁时研发出纽扣大小的预警装置。Kenneth为缓解照顾阿尔茨海默症祖父的母亲的压力，发明了一双传感器袜子，能在老人下床时向护理人员手机发送警报。但在养老院推广时，因老人不习惯穿袜子睡觉，难以被老年人接受。写作步骤1——通读全文，理清脉络2、读人物，抓住关键人物3、读时态，确定主题时态

Kenneth，发明者（15岁学生），聪明、有责任感、坚持、善于观察、愿意帮助他人妈妈，照顾者，疲惫、默默付出、为家人牺牲爷爷，阿尔茨海默症患者，需要保护、无法控制自己的行为、不是故意添麻烦Ms.Brown，养老院负责人，有经验、了解老人真实需求、愿意提建议（不是反对者）一般过去时

写作步骤1——通读全文，理清脉络1.续写要点：第一段：①Ms.Brown指出问题后，Kenneth的反应（如失望、思考或询问替代方案）；②与Ms.Brown进一步沟通,了解真实需求，决心改进。第二段：①从“纽扣”获得灵感，重新设计、制作纽扣式警报装置的改进过程；②新装置被接受，发明获得认可。注意：两段续写需形成完整闭环，第一段铺垫问题与反思，第二段实现转折与解决。写

学生续写情节可能出现以下几方面的问题：①内容方面：●忽略伏笔：忽略前文“abutton-sizedwarningdevicehecreatedat15”续写仅简单改良感应袜或研发其它类型的装置，未呼应、回扣纽扣式装置这一关键设定，割裂故事情节，导致文章首尾不呼应、内容不完整。（建议最高不超过18分）●逻辑漏洞：脱离原文逻辑，出现不合理情节，例如凭空新增改良设备的功能、随意添加他人帮助、或直接跳过思考与实验过程，瞬间完成装置改良，违背原文Kenneth反复试验、潜心钻研的人物设定与故事逻辑。（建议最高不超过18分）写

学生续写情节可能出现以下几方面的问题：角色缺失：续写中遗漏关键人物Ms.Brown，完全舍弃其提出的改良建议，无任何内容承接前文对话与提示，情节断层，无法合理引出后续装置优化的情节，故事推进生硬突兀。（建议最高在第四档）●人称错误：误用第一人称叙述。●缺乏细节：描写过于笼统，仅平铺直叙改写发明、收获成功，无具体动作、情绪等细节。无具体思考、试验、调整设备的细节支撑，文章感染力不足②衔接方面：●无法自然承接段首句，续写内容与段首句无关联。●续文与原文科学精神与人文关怀衔接断裂。十句五定法写概述"十句五定法"是指读后续写两段共10句话中，有5句话的位置和内容是相对固定的，其余5句可根据具体情境调整。这种方法通过固定关键句的结构，帮助学生快速搭建续写框架，避免偏离主题。Para1.Para2.定

句1:衔接提示句--心理/动作链定句6:衔接提示句--心理/动作链句2:句7:句3:句8：句4:。定句9:紧贴原文，交代结局定句5:过渡到P2首句定句10:升华主题两段十句五定法的思路剩余五句补齐细节情绪动作心理语言环境描写他意识到发明的缺点Kenneth决定改进设计。他突然想到什么改进后的设计赢得了广泛的认可关怀技术将人类联系在一起Ms.Brown的建议仔细倾听他了解到老人的真实需求多次的测试和调整他发明了纽扣式预警装置第一句话：____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第二句话：____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________他意识到，他的设计虽然有效，但远非完美。（宾语从句）布朗建议较小或不太明显的东西会是更好的选择。（宾语从句）Herealizedthathisdesign,althougheffective,wasfarfromperfect.十句五定法：Ms.Brownsuggestedthatsomethingsmallerorlessnoticeablewouldbeabetteroption.第三句话肯尼斯仔细地听着，他知道，为了让这种设备被广泛接受，它必须是老年人穿着舒适而不会扰乱日常生活的东西。（非谓语作状语）________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Kennethlistenedcarefully,knowingthatinordertomakethedevicewidelyaccepted,ithadtobesomethingelderlypeoplewouldfeelcomfortablewearingwithoutdisruptingtheirroutine第四句话：______________________________________________________________他明白，解决方案必须自然地融入他们的日常生活——技术应该为人民服务，而不是强迫他们改变。(宾语从句)Heunderstoodthatasolutionhadtofitnaturallyintotheireverydaylives—technologyshouldservepeople,notforcethemtochange.第五句话：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第六句话：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thankinghersincerely,Kennethrushedbackhomewiththefirmresolvetoimprovehisdesign.肯尼斯真诚地感谢她，带着改进设计的坚定决心赶回了家。（非谓语做状语）Whatifhecoulddesignabutton-sizeddevicethatcouldbeattachedtopeople’sclothingandstillfunctionjustaseffectively?如果他能设计一个纽扣大小的设备可以附着在人们的衣服上，并且仍然有效地工作？（定语从句）第七句话：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第八句话：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________他致力于持续日夜测试和精细调整。最后，他制作了一种新的纽扣形状的装置，效果很好。

（定语从句）Hedevotedhimselftocontinuoustestsanddelicateadjustmentsdayandnight.Finally,heproducedanewbutton-shapeddevicethatworkedwell.第九句话：___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第十句话：___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________这种温暖实用的设计赢得了老年人及其护理人员的广泛认可。他突然意识到，关怀技术将人类联系在一起，这一信念将指导他未来的科学追求。（“升华主题”）Thiswarmpracticaldesignwonwiderecognitionfromeldersandtheircaregivers.Itstruckhimthatcaringtechnologyconnectshumanity,andthisbeliefwouldguidehisfuturescientificpursuit.Paragraph1

Ms.Brownfrowned,sayingmanyelderlypeoplewerenotusedtosleepingwithsockson.Herealizedthathisdesign,althougheffective,wasfarfromperfect.Ms.Brownsuggestedthatsomethingsmallerorlessnoticeablewouldbeabetteroption.Kennethlistenedcarefully,knowingthatinordertomakethedevicewidelyaccepted,ithadtobesomethingelderlypeoplewouldfeelcomfortablewearingwithoutdisruptingtheirroutine.Heunderstoodthatasolutionhadtofitnaturallyinto