中西方礼仪文化差异.doc

Cultural Differences in Chinese and Western Social EtiquettesIntroduction Etiquette is the rules and principles that people shall observe in the social exchange activities. It almost permeates all aspects of social life and plays an important role to realize the harmony in society. I came to realize the importance of social etiquette when I took part in the activity called A selling for international friendship. When we meet Coco at the park near her home, she just sat on the bench and did not stood up to say hello to us. At first, I was a little angry, because in China, this behavior was impolite and disrespectful. But later I realized it was the result of culture and social etiquettes difference. When living in this fast changing world, which is getting smaller and smaller and become a global village, it is very important to know the etiquette differences of different culture. Manners and politeness must be included in etiquette. Because social etiquette itself is a kind of special language, which helps people successfully open the door for communication activity and establish harmonious interpersonal relationship. The paper aims to find out the differences of Chinese and western etiquette on the aspect of daily expression, dining.The differences of daily expression in communicationGreeting and Parting is a small part of social etiquettes, yet if you do not pay much attention to it, you will not make new friends in foreign countries. Because greeting and parting are used to create or maintain social relationship when people meet acquaintances or friends. In many countries, people often use some polite formulas. But because of cultural differences between China and western counties, our etiquettes are different and these different, polite formulas always cause conflict in peoples communication. Just as I said at the beginning, maybe Coco did not deliberately sit on the bench when we came to see her, and maybe she always greeted to her friends in such way in America. However, in our country, such behavior is considered as impolite and disrespectful. If we do not understand other countrys culture and etiquettes, and if we are not impatient, we may quarrel with each other, let alone make friends with them. After we chatted for some minutes, she seemed not interested to us, so we said we want to help her sell her bicycle. Then she seemed very happy, and took us to see it. Finally we came to her house. She just let us find some place to sit, but there was no chair to sit. Whats worse, she did not offer us something to eat or drink. If we did not know their etiquettes, we may think she was tightfisted. As we all know, in china, when guests come to ones home, the host will offer her or him a cup of tea, and sometimes the host will make dinner in case guests are hungry. So the wrong hospitality caused by difference of social etiquettes will make guests dissatisfied. If you want to make friends, you must learn foreign culture and acquire how to meet with people and how to treat them.When we learn their culture we will understand each other better. In the West, people often use the following expressions to greet each other, such as “Good morning / evening / afternoon!” “Fine day, isnt it?” or “How is everything going?” However, in China, people are used to say, “Have you eaten yet?” or “Where are you going？” so as to express concern to others. But for westerners, “Have you eaten yet?” means you want to entertain the one you are greeting with. After your greeting with this sentence, if he / she replied “Not yet”, you should play the host. As for “Where are you going”, this kind of greeting will make western friends feel sudden, embarrassed and even unhappy. Because westerners will regard this kind of greeting as cross-examination and think that you are too much personal. Parting is usually divided into two steps. Before the final farewell, there is a hint that is not same due to different cultures. In western societies, at the final parting time, guests usually will tell the host why they have to leave from their own angle with some expression of apologies, such as “I m afraid I must go now because the babysitter is going to be off duty”. Westerners believe that visiting and having a conversation with others is a reflection of respect. They do not want to finish their visit, but they have to because they have other arrangements. Therefore, they always look for some reasons and try to make themselves seem to be reluctant to leave in order to make both sides comfortable. In china, at the end of invitation, guest usually find some reasons from the hosts angle, such as “You look very busy, and Id better go now”, or “You must be very tired and please have a rest after I go”, etc. Guests will say these words as they stand up from the chairs. Usually the host will retain the guests. If they have good relationship to each other, the host will even ask the guest to stay overnight. If guests insist on going home, then the host will sent them to the door. During the activity, when we wanted to leave Cocos home, she did not retain us and even she did not sent us to the door. If we do not know her countrys etiquettes, we may think she is not welcome to us and we may not come to her home again. My suggestion is that when you live in other country, you must learn their culture and social etiquettes first. Once you live in another place, you must follow local rules.Although greeting and parting is small acts, but its important for you to make friends at beginning. When you master this social etiquette, the journey of making foreign friends is just beginning.The Differences of Dining EtiquetteAbout dinning etiquette, there are many differences existing in different countries. As part of social etiquette, dining etiquette is essential, because it has a decisive position in the communication between China and Western countries. And also there are many occasions that we will have dinners with foreign people. If we do not have proper Table manners some inevitable cultural conflicts might happen in the communication, it will seriously affect our relationships. Learning and using the right etiquette will step up our own impression. China and west have different seating arrangement. In China, people are used to choosing round table to entertain their guests. But there are several rules about seating arrangement. Firstly, the host should sit facing the front door. The chief guest and deputy chief guest should sit at the right and the left of the host. Secondly, the distance to the host decides the status of the guests. The one who is closer to the host shows that who is more honorable. Thirdly, if the distance to host is the same, the right seat of the host is more honorable. Fourthly, if the identity of chief guest is higher than the host, for showing respect, chief guest should be arranged at the host seat and the host will sit at the chief guests location. In the West, people often use the long table. At the same table, the one who is closer to the host is the most honorable. At informal party, people follow the principle of “Ladies First”. If just one woman and one man have dinner, man should let woman sit on his right side. If two men and one woman have dinner, the woman should sit in the middle of two men. China and west have different eating style. In the West, you have your own plate of food. The kinds of food are very simple. And people use knife and fork to eat. In China the dishes are placed on the table and everyone shares. If you are being treated to a formal dinner and particularly if the host thinks youre in the country for the first time, he will do the best to give you a taste of many different types of dishes. The meal usually begins with a set of at least four cold dishes, to be followed by the main courses of hot meat and vegetable dishes. Soup then will be served to be followed by staple food ranging from rice, noodles to dumplings. If you wish to have your rice to go with other dishes, you should say so in good time, for most of the Chinese choose to have the staple food at last or have none of them at all. Perhaps one of the things that surprise a Western visitor most is that some of the Chinese hosts like to put food into the plates of their guests. In formal dinners, there are always public chopsticks and spoons for this purpose, but some hosts may use their own chopsticks. This is a sign of genuine friendship and politeness. It is always polite to eat the food. But if foreigners do not understand this etiquette, they will feel embarrassed due to their social etiquettes. When taking food, dining etiquette taboo is different. Chinese should not glance left and right, and can not pick and choose in the public dishes. People should ask others for help when they can not reach dish, and avoid leaving their own seat to get dishes. During the dinner, do not burp and make noise when people have noodles and soup. In the west, people do not make the noise of knife-scraping plate and do not speak loudly. When people drink soup, they should spoon soup without noise. When people eat brand, they cut it into two parts and then tear into small cakes to eat. They do not take food for others with their own tableware. Bone or food that people do not eat can not be thrown on the ground or on the tablecloth, and should be put in the corner of plate. About dining etiquette taboo of talking, there are a lot of aspects needing to pay attention to. Chinese stress lively atmosphere, and like to chat while they are eating. However, westerners stress quiet atmosphere. People just talk with right and left guest and should avoid loud laugh. Dont just talk with few acquaintances. If you do not know your right and left guest, give them an introduction. Dont interrupt others conversation. At the end of the party, the way of leaving is different. In china, only the host can signal the end of party. After the hosts stand up from their seats, other guests can leave later. The host should be at the door to see guests off, and the guest should show their thanks to host. But in the West, people should pick up the napkin from their knees first and then fold the napkin putting it on the left of table. Guests can not leave until the host has left. If necessary, guests can thank host by phone or thanks card after dinner. ConclusionIn modern society, it seems that the world is getting smaller and smaller, people are very active with frequent exchanges. Many countries are paying great attention to combining international etiquette creatively. The etiquette can be said to be a persons ext