致真爱追寻者的一封公开信(双语)追女孩子.doc

追女孩子的方法/lljh/ 呬嘚呭 DearTrueLoveSeeker,亲爱的真爱寻求者WemustbeginwithyourpersonaldefinitionofTRUELOVE.Withoutthat,yoursearchispointlessastheroundaboutwithnofeasibleexitforyourjourney.Dontracetothedictionary,asthedefinitionlieswithinyourownlifephilosophyandexperience.我们必须从你们个人对真爱的定义开始。没了它，你的寻求便毫无意义，如同环形绕道的旅途没有出口可走。不要去查字典，因为这定义就在你的人生哲学和经历之中。Ouradulthappinessliesrootedinthesoilofourchildhood.Instinctively,webondedtoourmothersforsurvivalandeventuallyunderstoodtheprotectivepotentialofourfathers.Allcanagreethatourbasisoflovestemsfromtheseearlyinteractions.Ratherthanbandyaboutthecountlesstheoriesconcerningmommyanddaddyissues,letsbeginwiththeideathatyouhaveetotermswithyourpastandareeagertomoveforwardintoyourownlovingrelationship.我们作为成人的幸福，植根于孩提时的土壤。为求生存，我们本能地和妈妈亲近，而后终于懂得了父亲对我们的保护。大家都知道，我们的爱，来源于这些早期的互动。与其散播关于妈咪和爸比问题的无数理论，不如让我们以这样的想法开始：你已经能够和自己的过去共处，并且渴望前进步入你自己爱的关系。Thebestpredictorofonesfuturebehavioristolookatpastbehavior.Bylookingatyouractions,canyousaythatyouvefalleninlovewiththemostimportantperson…yourself?Withoutarroganceandhubris,doyouLOVEthepersonyouhavebee?预测一个人未来行为的最好方法，就是去看其过去的行为。回顾你的行动，你可以说自己已经爱上了最重要的人…你自己么？抛去自大狂妄，你爱现在的自己么？1.Loveyourself1.爱自己Itisimpossibletogivedeeplovetoanotherifyoudontholditwithinyourself.Bitternesscantbehiddenforlong;itsflavorwillspoiltheloveyouvefoundandsetyoubackontotherepeatcycleofdeadendrelationships.如果你的内心无爱，你是不可能深爱其他人的。苦涩是不能长久埋藏的；它的味道会破坏你已经寻得的爱，将你送回关系死角的循环圈。Bylovingthepersonyouare,youaeptyourhumanitywhichismadeupofinadequaciesandacplishments.Thepressureisoffthen!Thepersonyouseekwillnothavetheburdenoffixingyoubecauseyouveaeptedyourselfwholly.Havingthatfortallowsyoutobeopenandaeptingofothers,andtheexchangeofemotionscanbegin.爱自己，意味着接受你的人性是欠缺和成就并存的。这样压力就没了！你寻找的人不会为了要拯救你而心存负担，因为你已经全盘接受了自己。有了那种安慰，你就能放开和接受他人，然后情感交流就可以开始了。2.Setasideyourego2.将自我放在一边Mutationofoneselftobetterfitintoarelationshipisanecessarysacrifice.Itcertainlydoesnotmeanthatyouhavetogiveupyourpersonalidentity,butiftheloveyouseekwillbeboundintruth,itisafactthattoreceivemuch,onemustgivemuch.要更好地融入一段感情，改变自己是必须做的牺牲。这当然不是说你必须放弃自己的人格，但如果你要寻找的爱真有限制，事实就是想要得到多些，你必须给予多些。Settingasideyouregotoexplorewhatisbestforthecoupleversuswhatisbestfortheindividualwillbeadailychoice.Thereisasweetspotthateachcouplemustfindwhichwillgivethemindependencebutalsoalevelofhealthyco-dependence.把你的自我放在一边，去探索什么对两人最好，这点对阵什么对个人最好的探索，将会成为每天的选择。每对爱人都必须找到那个最佳地带，会给他们各自独立，以及一定程度的健康共存。3.Beclearwithexpectations3.明确期待Youloveyourself,youfeelyouloveanother,andthecoupleyouhavebeehasgreatpotential.Didbothofyoueintotherelationshipwithclearexpectations?你爱自己，你感觉你爱另一个人，且你们两人的关系有很大潜力。你们两人是否对这段关系都有明确的期待呢？IftheloveisTRUEinthesensethatyoureseeking,thenthediscussionsofwhatyouhopeyourduowillevolveintowillnotbeanissue.Loveisvulnerabilityandiftwopeoplecannotbeopenandsupportiveofeachothersconcernsorexpectations,thenareyouinthekindoflovewhichyouseek?如果这真是你在寻找的真爱，那么讨论你们所希望的两人未来的发展，不会是什么问题。爱是脆弱的，如果两人不能开诚布公且支持对方的顾虑和期待，那么你是在自己寻找的爱情中么？4.Dontmakepromises4.不要许诺Althoughthatsoundsharshandagainstwhatyoumaybelieveenpassestruelove,thepressureofapromisecancauseanultimatebreak.Instead,tryexpressingyourselfwithINTENTION.Intentionaddsthetruthtolove;humansareweakestwhenwevemadeourselvesvulnerable.WefeedourinnerfearwhenweaddthepressureofIpromisetoloveyouforever.尽管这听起来残酷，也和你或许期望会随真爱而来的东西背道而驰，但诺言的压力却能导致最后分手。与其如此，不如试着用意向去表达你自己。意向给爱加了真实感；当我们让自己容易被攻击时，人就成了最脆弱的。当我们给了自己我保证会永远爱你的压力时，就是在滋养内心的恐惧。Intellectually,weseethatlovecantbeperfectbecauseweareimperfectpeople.Thus,therantingsofheartbrokenloversareasoldasmankind.Insteadofthefearthatpromisesaremeanttobebroken,embracetheconceptthatyouwillpayattentiontotheintention.理智上，我们知道爱不会完美，因为我们不是完人。因而，心碎爱人的咆哮是和人类一样古老的。与其恐惧诺言就是用来打破的，不如去接受你会将自己的意向放在心上这一理念。5.Checkthechemistry5.确认你们的化学反应TRUELOVEisbasedonchemicalreactions.Ratherthanfeeldeflatedbythisfact,celebrateit.Thehormonalfunctionsthatsetoffchemistrybetweentwopeoplearemiraculous.真爱是基于化学反应的。与其为这事实泄气，不如去庆祝这点。触动两人之间的化学反应的荷尔蒙作用如奇迹一般。Preparingyourselfmentallyandemotionallybytakingcareofyourselfwillhelpyousortthroughthelovefogafteritliftsandyoucanthenenjoythebenefitsofamutuallyfulfillingrelationship.Thosewhohavecelebratedcountlesshappyanniversariesgivemonadvice–truelovebeginsaftertheinitialchemistryhasended.Takethetim