揭阳高三第一次模拟考试作文评讲 (李教授+蝴蝶)

1、你是校报记者，最近进行你是校报记者，最近进行(jnxng)了一次采访。以下是这次采访的了一次采访。以下是这次采访的情况：情况：时间时间:三月九日，星期六三月九日，星期六对象对象:心理学家心理学家 (psychologist) 李教授李教授主题主题:高三学生如何释放过大压力高三学生如何释放过大压力(overwhelming stress)李教授解读：李教授解读：1原因：原因： 主要是因为学生把高考看得过于重要，把它主要是因为学生把高考看得过于重要，把它 看成最终目标。看成最终目标。2. 建议：建议：（1）最重要的是积极心态；）最重要的是积极心态；（2）适当运动能够帮助有效释放压力；）适当运动能够

2、帮助有效释放压力；（3）注意饮食平衡）注意饮食平衡;（4）保证充足睡眠。）保证充足睡眠。词汇词汇(chu)：高考：高考：the College Entrance Examination根据以上情况写一篇根据以上情况写一篇采访报道采访报道，并包括如下内容：，并包括如下内容：1采访的时间、对象和主题；采访的时间、对象和主题；2李教授解读内容。李教授解读内容。 要求只能使用要求只能使用5个句子个句子表达全部内容。表达全部内容。精品资料快速写作五步法：快速写作五步法：Step 1：审题：审题注意采访报道的写作要点：注意采访报道的写作要点：1、语言特点：言简意赅。采访报道属公文写作，、语言特点：言简意赅

3、。采访报道属公文写作，客观、简约，宜直入主题，注意审题，如客观、简约，宜直入主题，注意审题，如“你你”的身份：你是校报记者，报道采访李教授的内的身份：你是校报记者，报道采访李教授的内容，注意措辞。容，注意措辞。2、结构特点：总、结构特点：总-分分1）先总体介绍采访的对象、背景（时间，话题等）先总体介绍采访的对象、背景（时间，话题等）2）再分说采访内容中的细节）再分说采访内容中的细节4）因为报道类文章）因为报道类文章(wnzhng)是客观的，不必是客观的，不必加入你个人主观的评价。加入你个人主观的评价。3、人称、时态：人称应为第三人称，时态在介绍、人称、时态：人称应为第三人称，时态在介绍采访的背

4、景时，应用过去时，而对于教授解读采访的背景时，应用过去时，而对于教授解读的内容，如原因、建议等，属于普遍的情况，的内容，如原因、建议等，属于普遍的情况，应用现在时。应用现在时。精品资料Step 2：信息重组与列提纲：信息重组与列提纲结构特点：总结构特点：总-分分1. 先总体介绍采访的对象：李教授；采访的背景：时间：先总体介绍采访的对象：李教授；采访的背景：时间：3月月9日，星期六，话题：高三学生如何释放过大压力日，星期六，话题：高三学生如何释放过大压力（过去时）（过去时）2. 再分说采访内容中的细节再分说采访内容中的细节李教授解读：李教授解读：（1）原因：主要是因为学生把高考看得过于重要）原因

5、：主要是因为学生把高考看得过于重要(zhngyo)，把它看成最终目标。（现在时），把它看成最终目标。（现在时）（2）建议：）建议： 1）最重要）最重要(zhngyo)的是积极心态；（现在时）的是积极心态；（现在时） 2）适当运动能够帮助有效释放压力；（现在时）适当运动能够帮助有效释放压力；（现在时） 3）注意饮食平衡）注意饮食平衡; + 4）保证充足睡眠。（现在时）保证充足睡眠。（现在时）精品资料Step 3: 列提纲（列出关键词并决定每个句子列提纲（列出关键词并决定每个句子(j zi)所采用的句式）所采用的句式）had an interview with sb on/ about sth；

6、Professor Li, a psychologist; how Senior 3 students can release overwhelming stress; the main reason why ；suffer overwhelming stress；attach importance to sth; the College Entrance Examination; the final goal; take a positive attitude towards;. exercise, release the stress; keep a balanced dietStep 4

7、: 连词成句连词成句Step 5: 连句成篇，运用连词等使文章连句成篇，运用连词等使文章(wnzhng)具有连贯性具有连贯性精品资料 On Saturday, March 9th , I had an interview with Professor Li, a psychologist, about how Senior 3 students can release overwhelming stress. According to Professor Li, the main reason why Senior 3 students are suffering overwhelming s

8、tress is that most of them attach so much importance to the College Entrance Examination that they even look on it as their final goal. He suggests that Senior 3 students should take a positive attitude towards the exam. They had better do some exercise, which can be a helpful way to release their s

9、tress. Whats more, theyre supposed to keep a balanced diet and make sure that they have enough sleep.精品资料 Once upon a time in a land far away, there was a wonderful old man who loved everything. Animals, spiders, insects . One day while walking through the woods the nice old man found a cocoon(茧茧) o

10、f a butterfly. He took it home. A few days later, a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no

11、 farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then came out easily. 精品资料 But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled (萎缩萎缩(wi su)的的) wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected

12、 that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand wa

13、s that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Natures way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. 精品资料 Sometimes struggles are ex

14、actly what we need in our life. If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.写作内容写作内容 1. 以约以约30词概括短文内容要点词概括短文内容要点; 2. 以约以约120词就词就 “个人成长需要艰难生活的磨砺个人成长需要艰难生活的磨砺”这一话题发表你的看法，并包含以下要这一话题发表你

15、的看法，并包含以下要点：点：(1) 你读了这个故事后的感受；你读了这个故事后的感受；(2) 叙述当前父母溺爱子女的现象和由此造成的后叙述当前父母溺爱子女的现象和由此造成的后果；果；(3) 假如假如(jir)你是父母一方，你会如何磨砺自己你是父母一方，你会如何磨砺自己的孩子？的孩子？精品资料夹叙夹议型文章夹叙夹议型文章(wnzhng)的的summary的要点：的要点：1、叙述部分：、叙述部分：who, what, the end,（过去时）（过去时）（1）A kind old man saw a butterfly struggling out of the cocoon.（2）The old

16、man cut the cocoon open in order to lessen its pain.（3）The old man found that the butterfly could never fly because of his help.2、议论部分（紧扣主题）（现在时）、议论部分（紧扣主题）（现在时）Struggles are needed in everyones life.精品资料 With the help of a kind man, the butterfly came out of its cocoon easily. However, without the

17、necessary struggle, it could not fly, which shows that everyones growth needs struggles and obstacles. SM A kind man cut a cocoon open in order to lessen the pain of a butterfly when he saw it struggling out of the cocoon, only to find that it could never fly because of his help. LW精品资料就就 “个人成长需要艰难生

18、活的磨砺个人成长需要艰难生活的磨砺”这一话题发表这一话题发表你的看法，并包含以下要点：你的看法，并包含以下要点：你读了这个故事后的感受；你读了这个故事后的感受；（议论部分，不要复述太多该故事的情节，直接（议论部分，不要复述太多该故事的情节，直接(zhji)表明你对这个人做善事却导致的坏结果的看法，表明你对这个人做善事却导致的坏结果的看法，可扣回可扣回summary中提炼的主题）中提炼的主题）(2) 叙述当前父母溺爱子女的现象和由此造成的后果；叙述当前父母溺爱子女的现象和由此造成的后果；如如 “过度依赖父母过度依赖父母, 缺乏独立能力缺乏独立能力”。（议论部分，先现象，再后果，可就现象造成的结（

19、议论部分，先现象，再后果，可就现象造成的结果的理由进行适当分析，但不宜过长，如果对原因的果的理由进行适当分析，但不宜过长，如果对原因的剖析过于深入，可能会导致篇幅过长而且偏离文章要剖析过于深入，可能会导致篇幅过长而且偏离文章要求。）求。）(3) 假如你是父母一方，你会如何磨砺自己的孩子？假如你是父母一方，你会如何磨砺自己的孩子？（做法部分，宜用对现在的虚拟语气。宜具体列举（做法部分，宜用对现在的虚拟语气。宜具体列举2-3个做法，注意在结束部分回应文章主题。个做法，注意在结束部分回应文章主题。精品资料 After reading the story, I feel really sorry. （

20、感受类的过渡句）（感受类的过渡句）The kind man really wants to help the butterfly, however, it is his help that leads to the sad ending. What a pity!（总（总结结(zngji)故事的结果）故事的结果）As far as I am concerned, struggles or obstacles are a must for our growth. They definitely help to increase our willpower and contribute to ou

21、r success. Without them, we could never achieve our life goal just as the butterfly did in the story. （你的看法，结尾扣回所给文章内容，（你的看法，结尾扣回所给文章内容，结构完整）结构完整） Nowadays, with only one child in most families, parents do whatever they can to satisfy the childs needs and even do for him精品资料what should be done by hi

22、mself. （当前父母溺（当前父母溺爱子女的现象爱子女的现象(xinxing)）Consequently, the child is unable to look after himself without his parents help. （由此造成的后果）（由此造成的后果）Too much care from parents deprives children of chances to grow strong by conquering obstacles. （简述（简述原因）原因）Just as a saying goes, “Flowers from a greenhouse c

23、an never withstand a storm”.（引（引用相关名言）用相关名言） If I were a parent, I would first keep him well informed that life is never easy and that he should be ready to face any difficulties. Besides, I would expose him to the hardships in life instead of protecting him from difficulties, providing them with精品资

24、料chances to fight for his bright future by conquering challenges. （运用虚拟语气，假设（运用虚拟语气，假设自己是家长，会采取自己是家长，会采取(ciq)何种做法锻炼孩子更何种做法锻炼孩子更好地成长。注意好地成长。注意“一虚到底一虚到底”！）！） To sum up, no one in the world is able to grow without struggles or obstacles. Only when we go through struggles or obstacles, can we achieve ou

25、r success.精品资料精品资料Simple as the story is, I felt extremely pitiful for the butterfly with swollen body and shriveled wings. Nevertheless, we are able to find such“ butterflies” around us. Numerous children broke down their wings for they enjoyed swimming in the love sea of parents, which would event

26、ually lead them to the miserable destiny. Nowadays, confronted with the fierce competition on the academic degrees and working professions, a growing number of parents spend most of their time in taking care of their children, giving the best things for them. All the parents protective behaviour aims to let the 精品资料 kids pursue their dreams wit