英语动作链事跳动的心脏读后续写课件高三英语一轮复习

动作链动作链：故事跃动的心脏01动作链的概念1.概念

动作描写是情节推进的重要工具，好比故事跳动的心脏。将一个动作分解成一步步的过程，就形成了连贯的“慢镜头描写”。这就是动作链。2.形式：

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动作A,动作Band动作C.【案例1】AsshecrossedtheopengroundinfrontoftheMoonandStarssheheardmenshouting,andsmelledthebeer,andhurriedalittle,thinkingherhusbandwasprobablyinthebar.【案例2】Thenshestraightenedthekitchen,litthelamp,mendedthefire,lookedoutthewashingforthenextday,andputittosoak.【解析】选自SonsandLovers第一章。案例1描述女主人公Mrs.Morel在集市中经过酗酒丈夫常去的酒吧时，连续描述了四个动作hear/smell/hurry/think，使得这一场景连贯生动；案例2描述Mrs.Morel在等待丈夫归来时候做家务的系列动作，营造隐忍苦闷的氛围。②分词A(done/doing/havingdone),动作Band动作C.【案例3】Thesuncameoutthroughthechinksofthevine-leavesandmadebeautifulpatterns,likealacescarf,fallingonherandonhim.【案例4】Thewomandroppedtheclothes,lookedatMrs.Morel,thenwnetonwithherwork,sayingnothing.【解析】选自SonsandLovers第一章。案例3描述了Mrs.Morel回忆少女时代与初恋情人坐在树荫下时的场景，通过太阳的动作描写，展现出温馨美好的氛围；案例4描述了邻居在面对Mrs.Morel抛出的问题时欲言又止。02动作链的功能功能一：调整节奏，烘托氛围【案例3】Thesuncameoutthroughthechinksofthevine-leavesandmadebeautifulpatterns,likealacescarf,fallingonherandonhim.【解析】通过环境描写中阳光的变化，描述出光纤穿过树叶间隙，洒在地上的漂亮形状，缓和了情节的前进。其中thesuncameout/madebeautifulpatterns预示着这是主人公生命中美好的一段时光，结合比喻，烘托出女主人公和她的情人芳心暗许的的美好氛围。功能二：凸显聚焦，衬托性格【案例5】“Oh--myboy!”shefaltered.Herlipstrembled,herfacebroke,and,snatchingupthechild,sheburiedherfaceinhisshoulderandcriedpainfully.【解析】选自SonsandLovers第一章。前文描写了Mrs.Morel的丈夫，趁其不备时，将她引以为傲的大儿子漂亮的绅士般的头发，剪掉了。此处Mrs.Morel看到儿子被剪得狗啃般的发型，又气又恼，这一举动衬托出Mrs.Morel作为没落贵族之女的骄傲被现实击垮后的无力和绝望。03动作描写的问题动作描写的问题①动词使用笼统，缺乏动作连贯。②使用单个动态动作或静态动作。③描述漫无目的，失去描写作用。04动作链的写作以浙江Z20续写为例动作链的写作：以续写为例途径1:庖丁解牛，按时间顺序分解大动作【场景】Max和Charley终于追赶上了冰激淋车。【润色】WhenMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【改后】Thetwobrothersflailedtheirarms,draggedtheirfeettowadsthenextstop,andfinallyspottedthetruckagain.“追赶上”这个大动作按时间顺序分解为：摆动双臂+拖着身躯+看到车子动作链的写作：以续写为例

途径2:动静结合，按中心动作创建动作面【场景】Max和Charley终于追赶上冰激淋车。【润色】WhenMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【动作面描写手段】

整体→局部；肢体→头部/面部→语言/心理【改后】Flailingtheirarms/Clutchingtheirfistsintowhiteknots/Teethclenched,thetwobrothersstrode

forwardandfinallycaughtsightofthelovelytruckinthecolorofmacaron.整体→局部肢体→头部/面部→语言/心理【改后】Wadingthroughtheboundlessbeach,hisfeetweaklikejelly,

Maxstrayedhiseyesintonothingnessoftheair,andfinallywailed,“Ican’tgoanyfurther!”动作链的写作：以续写为例途径3:有的放矢，辅修辞手法达成小目标【场景】Max和Charley终于追赶上冰激淋车。【润色】WhenMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【目的】此处的描写目的在于突出追赶中的疲惫，以体现出奶奶的鼓励：Nevergiveup!的重要性。修辞手法：比喻/夸张/拟人/对比...途径3:有的放矢，辅修辞手法达成小目标比喻之前舒服的沙滩现在就像一块巨大的铁锅，他们一边走，热气一边从底下冒上来，烫到他们的脚板，也挫伤了他们的士气。目的：突出孩子们和奶奶在追赶冰激淋车途中的疲惫。Theoncecozybeachagainthotpanforthem,theydraggedalongwhileheatrosesluggishlyfromtheirfeet,blisteredtheirskinanddiscouragedtheirmorale.途径3:有的放矢，辅修辞手法达成小目标目的：突出孩子们和奶奶在追赶冰激淋车途中的疲惫。夸张天太热了，Max仿佛流了好几吨的汗水，抬手擦了擦汗，抬起脚来走下一步，但脚下的沙子仿佛有吸引力一般，将他的脚牢牢陷在里面。Sweatingfortons,Maxwepthisperspirationsawayandpulledhisfeetfromthesand,whichseemedasifithadastrongmagnettosinkthem.途径3:有的放矢，辅修辞手法达成小目标目的：突出孩子们和奶奶在追赶冰激淋车途中的疲惫。拟人明晃晃的太阳用尽全力地炙烤他们身上的每一滴水分，刺痛他们的头顶，消磨他们的意志。“我走不动了！”Charley忍不住哀嚎，他弓着背，双手撑在膝盖上，似乎要融化了。Theblazingsunjustwouldn’tleavethemalone.Itsuckedeverydropofthesweatdry,beatdownuponthemandworndowntheirwillpower.“Ican’twalkanyfurther!”Charleywhined,archedhisback,proppedhishandsontheknees,asifmeltingdown.途径3:有的放矢，辅修辞手法达成小目标目的：突出孩子们和奶奶在追赶冰激淋车途中的疲惫。对比孩子们已经走得歪歪扭扭了，终于跌坐在路边，热气把他们身上最后一丝力量都抽走了；反观奶奶，额头的汗水流进了她眼窝里，衬得她的目光更为坚定了。Thechildrenstaggeredon,thelasttraceofdeterminationextractedfromtheirbody,andfinallyparalyzedthemselvesontotheground.Theirgranny,however,stoodevenmorefirmthoughhersweatsweredrippingdownandflowingintohereyesockets.Foryourreference05动作链的实践以浙江真题“蜂鸟的报恩”为例

Iwasinvitedtoacookoutonanoldfriend’sfarminwesternWashington.Iparkedmycaroutsidethefarmandwalkedpastamilkinghousewhichhadapparentlynotbeenusedinmanyyears.Anoiseatawindowcaughtmyattention,soIenteredit.Itwasahummingbird(蜂鸟),desperatelytryingtoescape.Shewascoveredinspider-webs(蛛网)andwasbarelyabletomoveherwings.SheceasedherstruggletheinstantIpickedherup.Withthebirdinmycuppedhand,Ilookedaroundtoseehowshehadgottenin.Thebrokenwindowglasswasthelikelyanswer.Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.WhenIopenedmyhand,thebirddidnotflyaway;shesatlookingatmewithherbrighteyes.Iremovedthestickyspider-websthatcoveredherheadandwings.Still,shemadenoattempttofly.Perhapsshehadbeenstrugglingagainstthewindowtoolongandwastootired?Ortoothirsty?

原题原题动作链场景1：“我”回到农场，回想旧日时光【润色】Ireturnedtothefarmwithafeelingofnostalgia.【目的】凸显“我”对农场时光留恋。【改后】Feelingasurgeofnostalgiabrewinginside,Ishovedasidethewoodenfenceofthefarmandtookastepinside.Passingbythemilkinghouse,Ihalted.Itobviousybroughtbackmymemorywiththelittlecreature,whichstir