微课题读后续写的动作打磨

ContinuationWritingSillsforactionentWhy？学生读后续写中存在的主要问题：1故事情节与材料脱节或情节与提示语衔接不当2人物关系混乱，毫无逻辑性3或表达啰嗦、或敷衍了事4段落通篇是对话；段落分布不均匀5语言表达单调，无亮点；6语法、时态错误;HarryBlacwastiredofthedailyroutineandalwaysdesiredforsomethingnewtohaeLet’sgosomewhereelse”

Hiswifelaughed“Loooverthereontheground,”shesaid“Isn’titaey”

HarrywaledovertotheeyandlooedatitTheeywasnotverylargeandithadthenumber164onitObviously,itwasn’tacareyoradooreybutaeytoaboandtheydecidedtotaeittotheetosomelocers（寄存柜）Eachlocerhadanumber,alocandaeythereforanhourortwoThe

Whenshesawthelocers,Harry’swifesaid,“InowwhatthateyisIt’stheeyfromoneofthoselocersSomeoneethinginalocer,locedthedoor,tootheeyawayandthenlostit”

Harrytootheeyoutofhisber164thereTheywenttothelocersandsoonfoundnumber164HarrylooedattheeyHelooedattheeyinlocernumber164Hetoldhiswifethathewasgoingtoonotgoingtotaethem,”Harrysaid“I’monlygoingtolooatthem”

“enwerestandingnettohim__________________________________续写课例学生习作2学生习作1读后续写分档：0-5（乱七八糟）抄原文，或是简单词汇堆砌，无谓语动词或片段，句子与原文内容不相关。6-10（稀里糊涂）出现谓语，逐渐有了句子结构，但谓语动词错误较多，人称，时态错误太多，有的内容严重跑题；中式英语占多数。11－14（马马虎虎）可读句增多，1/3句子正确，情节基本完整，常见中式英语。15-17（平平淡淡）情节完整，小错不断，谓语动词可以有点错误，没有高级句型，情节还算完整；偶尔中式英语。18－21（清清楚楚）条理清晰；故事脉络清晰合；语法结构基本正确，可有些错误，但不影响理解；有亮点。22－25漂漂亮亮故事脉络清晰，两段衔接合理，首尾呼应，语法结构正确，句式多样；亮点多。What？读后续写要达到的要求：1内容（逻辑性、合理性）2词汇和语法（丰富、准确）3语篇（连贯性，前后呼应）◆阅卷时主要考虑以下内容：（1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度（2）内容的丰富性（3）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性（4）上下文的连贯性。情节语言动作描写心理描写环境描写4好的动作描写能达到一些什么效果呢？1丰满人物情感towell-aeepressionspowerful3丰富故事情节toenrichyourstoryan’shouseHenocedonthedooragainandthistimetheoldmancamerighttothedoor“Boy,IthoughtItoldyounomagaines!”Theoldmanstaredathimangrilyandyelled“Inowthat,sirIjustwantedtobringyouagift”ThelittleboysmiledandhandedhimthedogfigurineLooingattheboy,theoldmanwastoosurthrisinginhisheart,asnoonehadevershownhimsomuchindnessSample范文

恰当的动词描写动作properdescriptionofaction非谓语描写动作Non-finitedescriptionofaction丰满人物情感？增加动作表达效果？丰富故事情节？with的复合结构选动词chooseaccurateverbsDescriptionsofaction非谓语表达non-finiteepressionsSillsforent分词做状语独立主格其他（一）chooseaccurateverbsEnjoyaclientionedinthevideoDetaileddescriptionofactionwaltiptoe踮着脚走，蹑手蹑脚的走snea潜行，偷偷溜走stagger蹒跚，摇摇晃晃地走stroll散步，溜达pace踱步，走来走去wander游荡，漫游swagger昂首阔步；神气十足地走dash猛冲，突进（二）non-finiteepressions学生非谓语运用范例：（1）分词做状语1Gaingathiswifewithsuchaburningdesire,Harrybeggedhiswife（周宇）2Overwhelmedwithfears,Harrycouldfeelhisheartbling（袁思婕）（2）with带复合宾语结构1Harryossweating,Harrystruggledtosaysomething,buthisheadwasblanimmediatelyandfailedtosayanything（谢宝树）3Withhisfeettrembling,Harrywasfroentothespot。（唐晓岚）ssweating,Harrytriedtoeber,hisfeetunabletomoveanyinch（何佳鑫）（3）独立主格How？1情景训练:supposeyousawsuchawolf,howdidyoufeelSeeingthefiercewolf,

Iwas

seied

bya

strong

sense

of

horror,withmy

ssweating

被深深地恐惧感所控制，手心出汗/Ifeltasurgeoffearrisinginmyheart一阵害怕涌上来Acouplestrolledalongthebeach,handinhand，withasoftbreeegentlyissingthehairandthewaveslappingthefeet李思妮）看图说话1:looatthepictureandtrytodescribethepictureindetailwithnon-finiteverbscouplebreeewaveInthemiddleofthequietnight,themanethingorsomeone（李锦琨）nightpacewait看图说话21TheboynocedonthedooragainHoldingthedogfigurineinhishand,henocedonthedooragain,withasmileappearingonhisface（龙浩）an’shouse2例句改写：2ThelittleboyeadogfigurineThelittleboysmiled,taingadogfigurinefromhisbac,andsaid,“”许晴________becurious,hewasabouttostretchouthishandtowardsthelocerwhenhiswifesto,"Thoughyouwantsomethingnew,wehavetodothingsas______allow"_____facethelocers,Harryloweredhisheadwithhiseyes______stareatthefloorandchewedhisliind---theownermustbeaniousanddepressedwhenhecouldn'tfindit________thinofit,hequiclyputtheeytohispocet,________leaveitunlocedAllofasudden,astrangevoicebroethesilenceBeingallowedFacingstaringThiningleaving3语法填空4相互批改作文

1________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingsecret2________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingwhenheismad3________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethingheisveryething5________isusedtodescribesomeonesaysomethinginterestingorwhenheeoneWhisperYellBoastWhineGiggle低声说，私语吼叫，大喊吹嘘，自夸发牢骚，哭诉，抱怨咯咯地笑5细化动作专项训练Mymotherturnedoffthelightsand_________母亲关上灯，然后踮着脚尖悄悄地走了出去。I___________thestairs我偷偷地溜上了楼。Theinjuredwoman________toherfeet受伤的女人摇摇晃晃地站起身来。Theylooedhanervously他