读后续写实例分析讲义高考英语作文复习专项

读后续写实例分析阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使其构成一篇完整的短文。Itwasjustbefore

8

am,

October

17.PamBalessteppedontothesnow⁃coveredJewellTrail

(小路).Sheplannedasix⁃hourclimbinghikethroughNewHampshiresMountWashingtonStatePark.Shehadpackedforalmosteveryaccident,

includingclothes,

heatpacks,

abottleofhotchocolate...

(装备,伏笔)

Andsheintendedtowalkalone.Apieceofpaperonthedashboardofhercardetailedhertrip:

startupJewellTrailandreturntohercarbeforesomeforecastedbadweatherarrives.Pamalwaysleftherhikingplansinhercar.

ShewasavolunteeronthePemigewassetValleySearchandRescueTeam.(说明身份,伏笔)

At

10:30

am,

theweatherwasshowingitsteeth.(天气,伏笔)

Pamaddedevenmoreclothestoprotectherselffromthecoldwindsandfog.

(加衣)

Thenshenoticedsomething:

asinglesetoffootprintsinthesnowaheadofher.

(一个人的脚印,伏笔)

Shedbeenfollowingfainttracksalldayandhadntgiventhemmuchthought,

becausesomanypeopleclimbedJewellTrail.Butthese,

sherealised,

hadbeenmadebyapairoftrainers.

By

11

am,

Pamwasgettingcold,

despitemovingfast.Sheputonanextratop.

(再次加衣)

GoodthingIpackedheavy,

shethought.Shedecidedtoabandonherplan.Returningtohercarwasarequirement.

StronggustsofwindattackedherbackandleftsideandtheonlythingkeepingheronGulfsideTrailwasthetracksinthesnow.

(天气,伏笔)

Asshefoughtthewindandheavysleet,

hereyessearchingforsometypeofshelter,

thetracksmadeahardleft⁃handturnoffthetrail.

Allofasudden,

shefeltalarmed.ShewassurethehikercouldlosehiswayandwasheadingstraighttowardthechallengingtrailsoftheGreatGulf.Pamfollowedthetrackscarefully.Sheroundedacornerandsawaman

sitting

motionlessbesideastone.HestaredinthedirectionofGreatGulf.She

approachedhim.

Hisheadwasbare.Helookedsoakingwet.Thickfrostcoveredhisjacket.Ashiseyestrackedherslowly,

hebarelyturnedhishead.(故事高潮,远足者出事)

注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。Hersearchingnowturnedintorescuingtheman.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Theyhadtogetoutofthere.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________实例分析“情景交融”写景烘托人物情感“一切景语皆情语”,适当的环境细节描写,可以起到“情景交融”的效果,烘托人物情感并有效推动故事情节的发展。①表现喜乐欢愉:可描写温暖的阳光、蓝天白云或徐徐微风,或利用综合场景,如春日早晨的阳光,微风中盛开的鲜花等,烘托人物的喜悦情绪;②表现哀愁压抑:可描写乌云黑夜或风雨天气或空旷寂寥的场景衬出人物的压抑;③表现焦躁无助:描写炎热的天气或描写令人惊叹的美景却无法吸引人物的注意力,与人物内心的焦躁忧虑形成对比;④表现恐惧紧张:渲染狂风暴雨、黑暗或用静态反衬,用环境的静反衬人物的紧张和恐惧。主题链接主题特点救人脱困类会涉及:①危急时刻挺身而出救助他人,如危难之际,利用所学急救知识或技能,成功救人脱离生命危险;②楼内突发火灾,警察/群众舍己救人;③有人不幸溺水,群众/路人鼓足勇气跳入水中施救。三步法第一步:家庭环境或氛围描写+不满、忧虑或排斥等情绪;第二步:冲突过程+动作和情感;第三步:冲突化解、亲子交流+高兴/如释重负+关系融洽(+升华)。第一步把握原文大意明主旨和两线原文大意搜救队志愿者PamBales安排好一切后独自登山远足,由于天气恶劣，她放弃远足，返回途中却发现一个冻伤的人。原文两情线情节线:登山远足→天气变冷加衣,发现独自远足者脚印→天气更冷,放弃远足→发现远足者冻伤;情感线:thoughtful→well⁃organized→determined→alarmed。叙事意图PamBales如何带着冻伤的男子安全脱险。第二步据两首句信息确定续写方向两段首句定一框①根据段首句关键信息“turned

intorescuingtheman”可推出该段可叙述男人冻伤的状况、如何施救和施救的结果;②尾句可营造故事冲突,如男子冻伤无法行走。二框二首正能量①根据段首句“Theyhad

togetoutofthere”可描写:如何带被冻坏的男子离开,安全脱险的艰难。该段可再次营造冲突,如天气变得更加恶劣;②尾句可写男子的感激。第三步原续高度融洽合理添加细节◎高度融洽续写部分两情线的发展应与原文两情线一致,以使“两情相悦”。情节线是:男人的状况→施救→施救结果→天气恶劣→艰难返回→安全脱险;情感线可以是surprised→decisive→worried→struggling→relieved→grateful。◎添加细节动作细节:第一段涉及如何施救,可详细描述施救的动作;环境细节:原文对环境的描写很多,续写部分可添加对恶劣天气的描写,营造人与环境的冲突,也是与原文的呼应。第四步沿原语言特点完美连贯表达原文利用了大量的简单句、非谓语动词、并列句和时间状语从句,续写部分应沿用该特点描写PamBales的动作和环境。Hersearchingnowturnedintorescuingtheman.Shefoundhewassufferingfromfrostbiteonhisfeet.Hecouldhardlymoveanythingexcepthiseyes.Withouthesitation,shecleanedthefrostfromhisjacketandquicklywarmedhisheadwithwarmclothes.Shetookouttheheatpacksshehadpreparedforherselfbeforeshelefttowarmtheman'sstifflegs,andpouredhimsomehotchocolate.Slowly,themanwasabletomoveslightly,buthewastooweaktospeak.Hewassobadlyhurtthathecouldn'twalk.Theyhadtogetoutofthere.Thewindwashowling.Itwasgetting个首句街接colderandcolder,andiftheydidnotgetoutofthere,theywouldsoondie.Shecarriedthemanonherback