2024届江苏省苏北七市(南通)高三二模考试英语试题读后续写思路分析My best examination 讲义

(2024年南通二模读后续写)

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。MyBestExamination

Oneday,whileatworkinacoal-mineinMalden,Ihappenedtooverheartwominers

talkingaboutagreatschoolforpoorpeopleinVirginia.ItwasHamptonInstitute.The

schoolwasestablishedtoprovideopportunitiesforpoorbutworthystudentswhocould

workoutallorapartofthecostofboard,andatthesametimebetaughtsometradeor

industry.

Iwasonfireconstantlywithoneambition,andthatwastogotoschool.Idecidedat

oncetogotothatschool.FinallythegreatdaycameandIstartedforHampton.Ihadonly

asmall,cheapbagthatcontainedwhatfewarticlesofclothingIcouldget.Thedistance

fromMaldentoHamptonisaboutfivehundredmiles.Ihadnotbeenawayfromhome

manyhoursbeforeitbegantogrowpainfullyevidentthatIdidnothaveenoughmoneyto

paymyfare(路费)toHampton.

Bywalkingandbeggingridesinsomeway,Ifinallyreachedthegroundsofthe

HamptonInstituteafteranumberofdays,tiredanddirty.Assoonaspossibleafterreaching,

Ipresentedmyselfbeforetheheadteacherforassignmenttoaclass.Havingbeensolong

withoutproperfood,abath,andchangeofclothing,Iwaslikeaworthlessloafer(游荡者).

Ididnot,ofcourse,makeaveryfavourableimpressionuponher,andIcouldseeat

oncethatthereweredoubtsinhermindaboutthewisdomofadmittingmeasastudent.I

triedtoimpressherinallthewaysIcouldwithmyworthiness.HowIwishedthatIcould

getachancetoshowwhatwasinme.

Aftersometime,theheadteachersaidtome,“Theadjoining(隔壁的)classroom

needssweeping.Takethebroomandsweepit.”para.1Itoccurredtomeatoncethatherewasmychance.para.2Theheadteacherwentintotheroomandinspectedthe

floorandclosets.01

确定原文主题由于故事情节和主题分析较清晰明了，课上就不用在这里设置问题，直接挖空让学生填写。这个方式能让学生快速调动记忆，梳理关键情节、分析人物形象和确定主题。SummaryofthestoryDespite

beingacoalminer,Ialwayshadan

ambition

togotoschool.When

overhearing

about

agreatschoolfor

poor

butworthy

students,I

decidedtogo

theirinpursuitof

education.

Painfully

(pain),Ihadnoenoughmoneyandhadto

walkand

beg

forridestoreachtheschool.

Upon

arrival,

I

presented

myself

before

theheadteacher

forassignmenttoaclass,but

my

appearance

of

a

worthless

loafer

duetothe

lackofproperfood,bath,andchangeofclothing

gavehera

poor

impression.

Inawhile,

theheadteacherasked

me

to

sweeptheadjoiningclassroom.Eagertoshow

whatwasinme,Ideterminedtoseizethischancewithout

hesitation.原文关键词理解：首段故事背景介绍中有workoutallorapartofthecostofboard，很少学生能读懂，它在这里指的是这个学校可以为学生提供全职或兼职工作机会挣食宿费，同时还教他们做生意或其它技能。ThemeWith

diligence,

hardworkand

determination,onecanovercomeanyobstacleandachieveone'sgoals.02

构建情节细节同样用Problem-Solutionstrategy分析problem(conflict):

我前来求学，但给校长留下不好印象。solution:

完成打扫教室的任务，证明自身价值，获得入学机会。para.1Itoccurredtome

atoncethatherewasmychance.1．我开始实施打扫工作（动作描写，涉及运用工具、不同区域）2．搭配心理描写：尽管我劳累但内心坚定不移，从而更加卖力。3．我重新检查打扫情况，强调floor和closet的干净，突出我一丝不苟的态度。4．（过渡）我完成打扫工作，邀请或等待校长检查para.2The

headteacherwentintotheroomandinspectedthe

floorandclosets.1.校长检查打扫情况，我紧张等待（神态描写，动作描写，心理描写）2.校长赞扬我的劳动成果，批准我入学。（语言描写）3.我被认可后的反应（神态描写、心理描写）4.（升华主旨，照应标题）通过这次对我能力和品质的考试，我证明了自身价值，通过努力开启我的人生新篇章。

批改中我发现从学生习作中发现难点在于续写第一段“没话说”，寥寥两句描述完打扫过程，却忽略了展现“我”信念坚定的心理状态和一丝不苟的品质，以及容易忽略第一段打扫过程与第二段已知首句的衔接。

破解办法是……“tapintothepreviousstory”

即续写可以充分运用原文语言重新“排列组合”成你的文字，实现情节、主题和任务三方面的“协同”。伏笔1opportunity协同1once-in-a-lifetimeopportunity与givensentence中的chance衔接伏笔2workinacoal-mineI；waslikeaworthlessloafer协同2强调我"我"在矿地的工作经历，让我吃苦耐劳、一丝不苟的精神合理化，或通过对比acoalminer→aworthlessloafer→aworthystudent身份的转变加强主旨.伏笔3workoutallorapartofthecostofboard,andatthesametimebetaughtsometradeorindustry协同3用于结尾描述"我"争取入学后的收获.伏笔4Iwasonfireconstantlywithoneambition,andthatwastogotoschool.协同4用于描述我打扫教室时信念坚定，一心求学，于是更加卖力.伏笔5Bywalkingandbeggingridesinsomeway,IfinallyreachedthegroundsoftheHamptonInstituteafteranumberofdays,tiredanddirty.协同5用于续写第一段心理描写:饿着肚子打扫的时候回想求学之路的艰难，更加珍惜这次机会，竭尽全力做好工作.asurgeofpowerendlesslyburstinginsideofme用于第二段升华主旨的心理描写:回想历经重重困难后，苦尽甘来，反思先前的努力都是值得的。allthetoughlaborworkdownthemine,allthebitterhardshipontheroadandallmyeffortstoprovemyworthinesspaidoff伏笔6Icouldseeatoncethatthereweredoubtsinhermindaboutthewisdomofadmittingmeasastudent....getachancetoshowwhatwasinme协同6在第二段突出校长对我的改观:Icouldseeatoncethatthepreciousdoubtsinherminddisappearedgivingwaytoaanadmiringlookatme,asifembracingmeasaworthystudentofhers03

用象征呈现主旨句主旨句有多种展开方式：Thesweepingofthatroom

turnedouttobean

examination

of

mydiligence,carefulnessandwillpower!Ihavepassedseveralexaminationssincethen,butIhavealwaysfeltthiswas

the

mostrewarding

one

ever.【反思经历】This

wasjustthebeginningofmyjourneyatHamptonInstitute,yetit

openedanewchapterofmylife.Moreimportantly,Iwasresolvedto

takefulladvantageoftheenrichedlifethisfamousschooloffered.【展望未来】Itwasasmallvictory,butIknewthatitwasthefirststeptowards

gaininghertrustandprovingmyselfatHamptonInstitute.Withthatsimpletask,Ihadbeguntopavethewayfor

myeducationandfuturesuccess.【展望未来】04

参考范文

Itoccurredtomeatoncethatherewasmychance.

Onlybyseizingthisonce-in-a-lifeopportunitycouldIgetadmittedintoHampton.Grabbingthebroomfirmly,Iwasonfiretoshowtheheadteacherwhatwasinme.Thankstothepreviousexperienceinthecoalmine,Ihadshapedmyselfintoastrongmanwithanironwill.Withasurgeofpowerendlesslyburstinginsideofme,IswepteverycornerintheroomcautiouslyandandIwasevenonallfourscheckingiftherewasdustleftundertheclosets.Tiredanddirtythough,Icastsatisfiedlooksaroundtheroombefore

inviting

theheadteacher

toexaminemyworkresults.

Th