读后续写专题第2章如何构写大纲和进行情节设计 上部

一、写大纲只需10句固定:P1P2首句+P1尾句+P2尾两句写大纲:十句五定法(5句有固定依据)P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接着P1(心理/动作链)⑥接着P2(心理/动作链)②⑦③⑧④⑨结局(紧贴首段/需求解决)⑤根据P2⓾升华(归类+总结共性)举例ThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.第一步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接着P1(心理/动作链)Twins：害怕被责备+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接着P2(心理/动作链)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：惊喜+欣慰②⑦③⑧④⑨结局(紧贴首段/需求解决)问题解决（符合价值观结局）⑤根据P2Cookedthebreakfast⓾升华(归类+总结共性)价值观/感叹第二步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接着P1(心理/动作链)Twins：害怕被责备+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接着P2(心理/动作链)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：惊喜+欣慰②另外5句2个关键情节：P1爸爸帮忙做早餐+P2妈妈开心3个细节描写：动作、语言环境⑦③⑧④⑨结局(紧贴首段/需求解决)问题解决（符合价值观结局）⑤根据P2Cookedthebreakfast⓾升华(归类+总结共性)价值观/感叹第三步P1:Asthetuinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,their,fatherappeared.P2:Thetuinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.①接着P1(心理/动作链)Twins：害怕被责备+欣喜有救星father：理解⑥接着P2(心理/动作链)Twins:期待+忐忑；mother：惊喜+欣慰②语言对话⑦关键情节同时空各个角色在做什么由角色特点决定③动作/环境Cleanthekitchen原文复现延伸⑧动作/语言/环境对话④关键环节由角色特点决定Fathercookedbreakfast；twinscleankitchen⑨结局(紧贴首段/需求解决)问题解决（符合价值观结局）妈妈惊喜呼应原文复合价值观结局⑤根据P2Cookedthebreakfast⓾升华(归类+总结共性)价值观/感叹二情节设计情节设计|只需4步“NSDD”:N需求+D困难+S方法+D结局续写情节设计1、“评卷员说”:情节设计原则“需求法”(NSDD)&历年真题实战情节设计素材:原文这三处[读后续写:情节设计|“需求法”NSDD]1、“评卷员说”:情节设计原则优先等级:简单.稳妥>紧凑>丰富>故事性2、情节构思“需求法”(NSDD)(1)N需求+D困难+S方法+D结局(2)历年真题，情节设计分析3.情节线索:看原文这3处串联大意5W1H+P1P2首句,定事件走向(2)划关键词(角色特点、关键情节)各类描写占比，续写比例与其一致听评卷员说”:●“语法、时态、拼写、标点、大小写、叙述连贯性等方面的错误率都与学生读后续写的成绩存在不同程度的正相关性。”“普遍存在情节不严密，词汇较低级，句式变化少等情况”“...续写内容才能与原文融洽，连贯...”“最后附上阅卷实际操作评分标准，主要依据为是否有正确的句子，原则上就高不就低。20分:内容顺，细节比较多，允许些许错误。18分:内容顺，细节少些，语言有些错误。15分:内容可读，语言错误多。10分:内容基本完整,基本没什么完整的句子。”的要求?续写情节设计，优先顺序:“严密、融洽、连贯”简单.稳妥>紧凑>丰富>故事性总结:情节设计的任务为“简单稳妥”。◆其他维度可通过词汇、句式、连接词、各类描写来实现:●紧凑性:情节推进+连接成分(逻辑连词+副词+介词短语)●丰富性:各类描写、词汇、句式●故事性:多读英语小故事，了解文化，熟悉常见情节续写情节设计，优先顺序:如何做到简单稳妥？那就要“严密、融洽、连贯”从而贴紧原文，找线索[读原文:5WP1P2+角色特点+描写占比]第一件事:串联首尾段5W1H+P1P2给定句,定事件走向(1)读首段得知:人物+大致事件(2)读尾段得知:具体事件+态度(3)读P1P2给定句得知:故事结局走向2.第二件事:划出关键词(角色特点、关键情节)划出角色相关描写(adj/v/n):用来续写角色，改写关键词划出矛盾/需求、关键情节:用来续写情节，甚至是“升华3、观察各类描写占比，续写比例与其一-致(1)看各类描写:续写时尽量占比一致(2)语法句式:尽量保持一致，也可模仿好句用表格规划思路构思前：读原文3件事（5WP1P2+角色+描写）Who关键词动作：v情绪/心理：adj特点：n./短语角色1角色2角色3What关键句P1P2关键句3W1H平常写作训练时，可以以此表格梳理思路在考场上可以直接在原文标记短故事情节设计法(短故事情节:shortstoryplots]MaincharacterCharacter2SettingSituationThemeCharacteractionExpositionConflictRisingsacionClimaxFallingactionResolutionStoryElementsStoryelementsarethepieces,oringredients,thatwhenputtogether,makeupanarrativestory.ldentifyingandrememberingstoryelementswillhelpyouunderstandastorybetter.StoryElementsInclude:Characterspeople/animalsinthestorySettingwhen/wherethestorytakesplaceproblemtheconflict,ormainproblem,thatthecharactershaveSolutionhowtheproblemissolved读后续写:情节设计|“需求法”NSDD简化表格进行情节设计Needs需求重点看：首尾段+P1P2给定句也可理解为：写作者要写到的内容Difficulty困难、障碍设置困难原文中找冲突、障碍（5W1H+角色特点）Solution行动、方法大转机：通常在P1/P2首句原文：所有角色/事物Denouement结局(需求解决)需求被解决（复合价值观结局）升华感悟平常写作训练时，可以以此表格设计情节在考场上可以直接在原文标记历年考题情节分析：需求结局困难方法：借助他人或他物年份主题需求Needs结局Denouement困难Difficulties方法和媒介Solutions2021.6全国1卷母亲节惊喜做早餐做好了早餐不会做，厨房乱爸爸帮忙2021.6浙江卷暑期打工处理挣到的钱处理了钱:将挣到的钱给了父亲作者不情愿贡献辛苦挣到的钱父亲的辛劳和担心，触动了我2021.1浙江卷卡南瓜视频在网络走红得救，视频在网络传播开来视频在网络传播开来获得关注被南瓜卡住无法自救爸爸妈妈帮忙，视频传上网络2020.7浙江卷拍摄北极熊,对峙，遇险脱险脱险救援直升机30分钟才到用辣椒喷雾击退熊;救援赶到2020.7山东卷救助穷人助人助人没钱卖爆米花赚钱，路人购买2020.1浙江卷浙江卷让小狗开心小狗开心，家庭团聚小狗想念男孩，但他上大学未归父母买新小狗,作伴，男孩回来真题实战Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingatаresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.world"-thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbears-likeallwildanimals-shouldbephotographedfromаsafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.HestoodonhisbacklegsandP1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktopushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough-hejustkepttryingtoresearchcampoutsidethepolarbearcapitaloftheteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebearspunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroarthebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.[2020年7月浙江卷]P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.原文找:5W1H所有人物+特点+描写占比Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”-thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbears-likeallwildanimals-shouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.某个秋天，我和妻子EIli有个目标:拍摄北极熊。我们住在“世界北极熊之都”--加拿大马尼托巴省丘吉尔镇外的一个调研营地。给北极熊拍照很神奇，但也很危险。北极熊和所有野生动物一样-应该在安全距离内拍照。当我与北极熊面对面时，我喜欢用带有长焦镜头的相机。但有时，说起来容易做起来难。这是其中之一。AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.5W1H所有人/物+特点+描写占比Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear',hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough—hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws.当Elli和我做晚饭时，一只年轻的雄性北极熊在附近湖里玩耍,它嗅.和闻到了我们大蒜面包的味道。.饥饿的熊顺着鼻子来到我们的营地，营地被高高的铁丝网包围。他拉扯并咬住了电线，用后腿站立，推木栅栏柱子。Elli和我吓坏了，试了所知的所有防熊行动。我们对着熊大喊大叫，用力击打罐子，并向空中发射空弹。有时这种响亮的声音会吓跑熊。然而对这只北极熊无.效--他只是不停地用大爪子试图推倒栅栏。Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30minutesofthebear'spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar(吼叫),thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.我用无线电向营地经理寻求帮助。他告诉我一架直升飞机，在路上了，但30分钟后才能到。充分利用这次近距离接触，我拍了一些熊的照片。EIli和我担心围栏在熊的暴行下，无法扛多30分钟。营地经理建议我用胡椒喷雾。喷雾会灼伤熊的眼睛，但不会伤害它们。于是我慢慢走近这不速之throughthefence,sprayedhiminthe客,穿过栅栏，朝他脸上喷过去。熊怒吼一声，跑到湖边洗眼睛。NSDD分析N需求：首位1-2段+P1P2给定句脱险：对抗怒熊30分钟我们：拍照熊：吃食物D困难：5W1H+角色特点怒熊：凶悍难缠武器：只能用普通物品S法方：等直升机Elli采取行动喷雾+面包D结局：需求解决+呼应原文脱险：直升机来营救我们完成拍照熊冲破栅栏获得美食[填入原文线索,情节仅需补2-3句]N需求:脱险,对抗熊30分钟;惊险时刻(线索在:首尾段+P1/P2给定句)D困难:熊凶猛;武器只能用普通物品(线索在:5w1H+角色特点)S方法:等直升机;Elli行动;喷雾+面包(线索在:P1/P2给定句+角色事物)D结局:登机脱险-熊破栅栏吃食物-我拍照(线索在:需求解决+呼应原文)P1:Aferuminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.①意识到喷雾无用，熊更凶狠②我害怕，不知咋办③Elli行动,扔面包④行动有用，熊跑去吃面包⑤熊吃完又折回，惊险时刻⑥我们开心，得救(心理+语言)⑦登直升机脱险(动作+心理)⑧俯瞰营地，发现惊人一幕⑨熊终于冲破栅栏吃食物⑩我拍照，心想:“熊得逞了!N需求:脱险,对抗熊30分钟;惊险时刻(线索在:首尾段+P1/P2给定句)D困难:熊凶猛;武器只能用普通物品(线索在:5w1H+角色特点)S方法:等直升机;Elli行动;喷雾+面包(线索在:P1/P2给定句+角色事物)D结局:登机脱险-熊破栅栏吃食物-我拍照(线索在:需求解决+呼应原文)P1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.Thenwerealizedthatthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn'tlongbeforeheateupallthebreadandcamebackagain.P2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.“Thankgoodnesswearesaved!"Ellicriedout.Oncethehelicopterlanded,wegotontoitinnotime,excitedandrelieved.Whenweweresafeonthehelicopterupintheair,Iwasamazedtospotthatthebearhadfinallytorndownthefenceandrantowardsthefoodweleftbehind.Iquicklytookoutthecameraandphotographedtherarescene一we