高中英语《frinds老友记》第8季中英文对照完整剧本819 The One With Joeys Interview

819TheOneWithJoey’sInterview[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,everyoneexceptPhoebeisthereasRachelenterscarryingamagazine.]Rachel:Hi!Ross:Hey!Monica:Hey!Rachel:So,I’minmyapartmentdoingtheSoapOperaDigestcrosswordpuzzle,andguesswhotheclueisforthreedown.(ShehandsthemagazinetoJoey.)Joey:(reading)Threedown,DaysOfOurLivesstarblankTribbiani.That’sme!!I’mblank!!Monica:Howcoolisthis?!Weknowthreedown!I’mtouchingthreedown!(Shehasherhandonhisshoulder.)Joey:Yeahyouarebaby.Monica:ThreedownknowsI’mmarried,what’sthreedowndoin’?Rachel:Sodidtheycallyoutotellyouyourname’sgonnabeinthis?Joey:No.Theyreallylikemeoverthere.Theywanttodoabigprofileonme,butIsaidno.Ross:Why’dyousayno?Joey:RememberwhathappenedthelasttimeIdidaninterviewforthem?IsaidIwritealotofmyownlines,andthenthewritersgotmadandmademycharacterfalldowntheelevatorshaft.SowhoknowswhatImightsaythistime.Chandler:Ifonlytherewassomethinginyourheadtocontrolthethingsyousay.(Joeynodshisagreement.)Rachel:Oh,comeonJoey!Youwilltotallykeepitincheckthistime,andplusy’knowthepublicitywouldbereallygoodforyourcareer!Andyoudeservethat!Andifyoudotheinterviewyoucanmention,ohIdon’tknow,galpalRachelGreen?Chandler:IsthatgalpalspelledL-O-S-E-R?Rachel:Okay,don’tlistentohim.Please?Joey:Fine!Allright,I’lldoit.Buthey!YouguyshavetobeatthenexttablesoyoucanstopmeifIy’know,starttosaysomethingstupid.Ross:Justthenor-orallthetime,‘causewe-wehavejobsy’know.Rachel:Comeon!Wewillbethereforyouthewholetime!JustremembergalpalRachelGreen.(Excited)Ha-ha!I’mgonnabeinSoapOperaDigest!Andnotjustinthedumbcrosswordpuzzle.(LooksatJoey.)Seriously,proudofyou.Joey:Yeah.OpeningCredits[Scene:CentralPerk,JoeyisthereforhisinterviewandeveryonebutPhoebearehidingonthecouch.]TheInterviewer:Ireallyappreciateyoutakingthetimetodothis.Joey:Oh,notatall.Happytodoit.[Cuttotherestofthegangsittinglowonthecouchandcraningtheirneckstowatchtheinterview.]Monica:(ToChandler)Youthinkwe’rebeingobvious?Chandler:No,we’rejustfourpeoplewithneckproblems.Youtalklikethis.(Outofthesidesoftheirmouths.)[Cuttotheinterview.]TheInterviewer:(ToJoey)Y’knowIthinkitsgreatyouwantedtomeethere.Y’knowwhenmostpeoplehearthemagazineispayingforittheywanttogotoabigfancyrestaurant.Joey:(laughs)Actually,Ididn’tknowthemagazinewaspayingforit.Wouldn’thavemattered,I’mdoingthisforthefans,notforthefreefood.Gunther:CanIgetyouanything?TheInterviewer:Umm,I’llhaveacupofcoffee.Joey:AndI’llhaveallthemuffins.[Cuttothegang.]Phoebe:(entering)Hey!Ross:Shhh!We’renottalking.Phoebe:Oh.Finally!Oh.(Sitsbackinrelief.)[Cuttotheinterview.]TheInterviewer:So,accordingtoyourbio,you’vedonequiteabitofworkbeforeDaysofOurLives.Anythingyou’reparticularlyproudof?[Thisstartsaseriesofflashbacks;thefirstoneisfromEpisode106:TheOneWithTheButt,JoeyisinaplaycalledFreud!.]Joey:(Hegoesintoasonganddancenumber)Allyouwantisadingle,

Whatyouenvy'saschwang,

Athingthroughwhichyoucantinkle,

Orplaywith,orsimplylethang...[ThenextoneisfromEpisode304:TheOneWithTheMetaphoricalTunnel,JoeyisonAmazingDiscoveries.]Host:Folks,hasthiseverhappenedtoyou.Yougototherefrigeratortogetaniceglassofmilk,(Joeyisinthebackgroundstrugglingtoopenacartoonofmilk)andthesedarncartonsaresoflingin'-flangin'hardtoopen.Joey:Oh,yousaiditMike.(Ripsopenthecartonandspillsmilkonthecounter)Aw!There'sgottobeabetterway!Mike:AndthereisKevin.[Cutforward.]Mike:Thisisthefirsttimehe’severusedthisproduct,he'sneverusedthisproductbefore,you'regonnaseehoweasythisistodo.(ToKevin)Goahead.('Kevin'startsusingtheproduct,itisaspoutthatyoujabintoapapermilkcartonsothatyoudon'thavetoripitopen.)Thisworkswithanymilkcarton.Joey:(finishinginstallingtheMilkMaster2000)Wow,itiseasy.(Startstopoorthemilk)Now,Icanhavemilkeveryday.(Thecrowdahhs.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode322:TheOneWithTheScreamer,it’stheendofJoey’splay.]Lauren:Sothisisit?Victor?Joey:Yeah,Iguessitis.Andso…I’mgonnagetonthisspaceship,(Smokestartspouringinfromtheceiling,andaladdercomesdown,withflashing,coloredlightsonthesideofit)andI’mgonnagotoBlargon7insearchofalternativefuels.ButwhenIreturn,200yearsfromnow,you’llbelonggone.ButIwon’thaveagedatall.(Getsontheladder)Soyoutellyourgreat-great-granddaughtertolookmeup,becauseAdrienne…baby…I’mgonnawanttomeether.(Theladderretracts,takingJoeyupintothespaceshipforhisvoyagetoBlargon7.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode204:TheOneWithPhoebe’sHusband,wheneveryoneincludingJulieiswatchingJoeyinhisporno.]Joey:Shh,OK,hereIcome,hereIcome.SeeI'mcomin'tofixthecopier,Ican'tgettothecopier,I'mthinkin'whatdoIdo,whatdoIdo…soIjustwatch'emhavesex.AndthenIsay,wait,here'smyline,(JoeyfromTV)youknowthat'sbadforthepapertray.Chandler:Niceworkmyfriend.Joey:Thankyou.Wait-wait-wait-wait,youseemeagain.Hangon,theguy'sbutt'sblockin'me.ThereIam,thereIam,thereIam,thereIam,thereIam…[Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:Well,therearesomanythings,it’shardtopickjustone.[Cuttothegang.]Phoebe:I’mgonnagetsomecoffee,anyonewantanything?Rachel:Ohyeah,I’dactuallyloveablueberrymuffinandachamomiletea.Ross:Uh,doublelatte,extrafoam.Chandler:Andabagelwithonly…Phoebe:(interruptinghim)Iwasjustbeingpolite![Cuttotheinterview.]TheInterviewer:Okay,howaboutwhenyou’renotworking.Whatdoyoudoinyoursparetime?[ThisstartsanotherseriesofflashbacksaboutJoey’shobbies.ThefirstoneisfromEpisode703:TheOneWithPhoebe’sCookies,RachelisteachingJoeyhowtosailhisboat,theMr.Bowmont.]Joey:(drinkingabeer)Lookatthisclown!Justbecausehe’sgotabiggerboathethinkshecantakeupthewholeriver.(Yelling)Getoutofthewayjackass!(ToRachel)WhonamestheirboatCoastGuardanyway?Rachel:ThatistheCoastGuard.Joey:Whataretheydoingouthere?Thecoast’sallthewayoverthere.(Pointstothecoast.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode603:TheOneWithRoss’sDenial,JoeyisamazingPhoebeandMonicabyholdinghisbreath.]Chandler:(entering)Hey!Phoebe:Hey!Checkitout!Thisisunbelievable!Joeyhasbeenholdinghisbreathforalmostfourminutes!(WeseeJoeywhohaspuffeduphischeeksandChandlernonchalantlyreachesdownandpinchesJoey’snoseshut.Inafewseconds,Joeyhastomovebecausehe’snowforcedtoactuallyholdhisbreath.)Joey:(ToChandler)Dude!Whatareyo—youtryingtokillme?![ThenextoneisfromEpisode507:TheOneWhereRossMovesIn.][Scene:ChandlerandJoey'sandRoss's,ChandlerisenteringandwhenheclosesthedoorJoeypopshisheadoutofthefortlikebefore,butthistimehe'swearingacowboyhat.]Chandler:Well,Iseeyou'vehadaveryproductiveday.Don'tyouthinkthecowboyhatisalittlemuch?Ross:(poppingupbehindJoeywearinganIndianheaddress)Comeon,it'sfun!Chandler:Allright!(Hejoinstheminthefortandcomesupputtingonabonnet.)Isn'tthisawoman'shat?Joey:Dude,stoptalkingcrazyandmakeussometea!(Chandlerdoesso.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode417:TheOneWithTheFreePorn,ChandlerandJoeyarelamentingthefactthateverybeautifulwomantheyseedoesn’twanttohavesexrightthenandtherelikeinporn.]Chandler:Y’knowwhat,wehavetoturnofftheporn.Joey:Ithinkyou’reright.(Goesoverandpicksuptheremote.)Chandler:Allright,ready?Joey:One.Chandler:Two.Both:Three.(Chandlerturnsoffthepornandsetstheremotedown.)Joey:That’skindanice.Chandler:Yeah,that’skindaarelief.Joey:Yeah.(Pause.)Chandler:Youwannaseeifwestillhaveit?Joey:Yeah.(ChandlerturnsontheTVand…)Chandler:FREEPORN!!!Joey:Yeah!!Chandler:Wehavefreepornhere!!![Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:InmysparetimeIuh,readtotheblind.AndI’malsoamentoforthekids.(Thegangshaketheirheads.)Y’knowamento,arolemodel.(Chandlerbiteshisfisttokeepfromtalking.)TheInterviewer:Amento…Joey:Right.TheInterviewer:Likethecandy?Joey:Matteroffact,Ido.(Chandlertriestojumpoverthecouchbuteveryonestopshim.)TheInterviewer:Wellumm,anotherthingourreadersalwayswanttoknowishowoursoapstarsstayinsuchgreatshape.Doyouhavesomekindoffitnessregime?Joey:Uh,westarsjusttrytoeatrightandgetlotsofexercise.[AnothersetofflashbacksbeginwithEpisode521:TheOneWithTheBall,JoeyandRossarethrowingaballaround.]Joey:Wow!Yourealizethatwe'vebeenthrowingthisball,withoutdroppingit,forlikeanhour?Ross:Areyouserious?!Joey:Yeah.Irealizeditaboutahalf-houragobutIdidn'twanttosayanything'causeIdidn'twanttojinxit.Ross:Wow!Weareprettygoodatthis!Joey:Yeah!Ross:Hey!Wetotallyforgotaboutlunch!Joey:Oh,I-I,Ithinkthat'sthefirsttimeIevermissedameal!(Checkshispants.)Yeah,mypantsarealittleloose![ThenextoneisfromEpisode604:TheOneWhereJoeyLosesHisInsurance.][Scene:ChandlerandJoey's,ChandlerenterstofindJoeylyinginthefetuspositiononthefloor.]Chandler:What’swrongwithyou?Joey:Nothing!Well,I-IgotthisblindingpaininmystomachwhenIwasliftingweightsbefore,thenIuhpassedoutanduh,haven’tbeenabletostandupsince.Butum,Idon’tthinkit’sanythingserious.Chandler:Thissoundslikeahernia.Youhaveto—you-you—Gotothedoctor!Joey:Noway!‘Kaylook,ifIhavetogotothedoctorforanythingit’sgonnabeforthisthingstickingoutofmystomach!(RollsoverandshowsChandler.)WhydidIhavetostartworkingoutagain?(Looksattheweightshewasusing.)Damnyou15s![ThenextoneisfromEpisode609:TheOneWhereRossGotHigh,RachelisdescribingherdeserttoJoeyandRoss.]Rachel:It’satrifle.It’sgotalloftheselayers.Firstthere’salayerofladyfingers,thenalayerofjam,thencustard,whichImadefromscratch.[JoeyandRossmakeimpressedfaces]Thenraspberries,moreladyfingers,thenbeefsautéedwithpeasandonions,[JoeyandRosslooklikesomething’swrong.]thenalittlemorecustard,andthenbananas,andthenIjustputsomewhippedcreamontop![Timelapse,RossandJoeyareeatingRachel’sdisaster.]Ross:Ittasteslikefeet!Joey:Ilikeit.Ross:Areyoukidding?Joey:What’snottolike?Custard?Good.Jam?Good.Meat?Goooooood.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode619:TheOneWithJoey’sFridge.][Scene:JoeyandRachel'sapartment,ChandlerisenteringtofindJoeybingeingonthefoodfromthefridge.Joeyisn’tdoingallthatwell.]Joey:Thefridgebroke.Ihavetoeateverything.Coldcuts,icecream,limes—Hey,whatwasinthatbrownjar?Chandler:That’sstillinthere?!Joey:Notanymore.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode711:TheOneWithAlltheCheesecakes.][Scene:TheHallway,ChandlerandRachelareontheirkneeswithforkstryingtosalvagewhattheycanofthecheesecakeoffofthefloor.]Rachel:Oh!Yay!Look!There’sapiecethatdoesn’thaveflooronit!Chandler:Sticktoyourside!Rachel:Hey,comeonnow!(Joeyfinishesclimbingthestairsandseesthem.ChandlerandRachelbothstopandlookupathim.Joeysitsdownonthestep.)Joey:(pullsoutafork)Allright,whatarewehavin’?(Startsdiggingin.)[Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:Uhh,Idon’tbelieveinthesecrazydietsy’know,justeverythinginmoderation.Gunther:Yourmuffins.(SetsdownahugeplateofmuffinsinfrontofJoey.)Joey:I’lltakethosetogo.(Totheinterviewer)Forthekids.TheInterviewer:Oh,IknowwhatIwantedtoaskyou.Youwereontheshowyearsagoandthentheykilledyouoff.Whathappenedthere?Joey:Itwassostupid,IsaidsomestuffinaninterviewthatIshouldn’thavesaid.Butbelieveme,that’snotgonnahappentoday.TheInterviewer:Understood.So,what’dyousaybackthen?Joey:Well,IsaidthatI…(Thegangjumpsupandinterruptshim.)CommercialBreak[Scene:CentralPerk,continuedfromearlier.]Joey:Youguys,thisisShelley,she’sinterviewingmeforSoapOperaDigest,andShelley,thisaremyfriends…Rachel:(interruptinghim)Hi!I’mgalpalRachelGreen,andifyouwantthedirt,I’mtheoneyoucometoo.ThismightbeJoey’sbaby(rubbingherstomach),whoknows?I’mjustkidding—Seriously,(leansintothecassetterecorderShelleyisusing)galpalRachelGreen.Ross:(leaningintotherecorderaswell)Whojustlosttherespectofherunbornchild.TheInterviewer:Umm,I’mgonnajustgogetthiswarmedup.(Shetakeshercoffeemuguptothecounter.)Joey:Okay.Monica:Joey!You’redoinggreat!Ross:Yeah,sofarnothingstupid.Chandler:Mento?Joey:Nothanks.TheInterviewer:(returning)So,asJoey’sfriends,isthereanythingthatyouguysthinkourreadersoughttoknow?Ross:Uhno,nojust-justthatheisagreatguy.Rachel:(scoffsathim)Yeah,that’sgonnagetyouintoSoapOperaDigest.WellI…(leansintothemicrophoneagain)…IwouldjustliketosaythatJoeytrulyhasenrichedthedaysofourlives.Phoebe:Umm,I…Ijustthinkyoudon’texpectsomeonesohottobesosweet.TheInterviewer:Oh!Ilikethat.What’syourname?Phoebe:Umm,PhoebeBuffay.TheInterviewer:Howdoyouspellthat?Sowecangetitright.Phoebe:Ohokay,it’sPasinPhoebe,Hasinhoebe,Oasinoebe,Easinebe,Basinbee-beeandEasin(InanAustralianaccent)‘Ellotheremate!TheInterviewer:Great!Well,itwasnicemeetingallofyou.Ross:Yeah,youtoo.Rachel:Youtoo!Chandler:Thanks.Monica:Bye.(Theyresumetheirpreviouspositions.)TheInterviewer:Soitseemslikeyouhavealotoffriends,whowouldyousayisyourbestfriend?[Theygangallleanbacktolistenbetter,andthisstartsanotherseriesofflashbacks.ThefirstoneisfromEpisode214:TheOneWithThePromVideo,RachelhasjustfoundthebraceletthatJoeygaveChandler,whichisafterheboughtonetoreplaceit.]Joey:Howcomeyouhavetwo?

Chandler:Wellthisone'sforyou.

Joey:Getout.

Chandler:No,Ican't.No-no,listen,I,IknowhowmuchthismeanstoyouandIalsoknowthatthisisaboutmorethanjustjewelry,(PutsbraceletonJoey)it'saboutyouandmeandthefactthatwe're(Readingbracelet)bestbuds.

Joey:Wow,isthisfriendship?Ithinkso.Checkitout,we'rebraceletbuddies.

Chandler:That'swhatthey'llcallus.

[ThenextoneisfromEpisode618:TheOneWhereRossDatesAStudent.][Scene:Joey'sapartment,JoeyandRachelareeatingspaghettiinthelivingroomwhilewatchingTVandRacheldropssomeonthefloor.]Rachel:Oh,Joey!Sorry!Joey:Nothat’sallright.Don’tworryaboutit.Rachel:Ohbutlook!That’sgonnaleaveastain!Joey:Rach!Hey!It’sfine!You’reatJoey’s!Rachel:Really?Joey:Yeah!Look!(Hethrowssomeofhisspaghettionthefloor.)Rachel:I’veneverlivedlikethisbefore.Joey:Iknow.(Rachelthrowssomeofhersdown.)Joey:Allright,don’twasteit,Imeanitsstillfood.(Hepicksitupandeatsit.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode224:TheOneWithBarryAndMindy’sWedding,Joeyhastokissaguyinanauditionandhasbeentryingtofindonetopracticewith.][Scene:ChandlerandJoey's,JoeyisreadingascriptasRossenters]Ross:AllrightI'vebeenfeelingincrediblyguiltyaboutthis,becauseIwannabeagoodfriend,anddamnitIamagoodfriend.Sojust,justshutupandcloseyoureyes(kissesJoey).Joey:Wow,youareagoodfriend,'coursetheauditionwasthismorning,andIdidn'tgetit.Butthatwasahellofakiss.Rachelisaveryluckygirl.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode512:TheOneWithChandler’sWorkLaugh,JoeyandPhoebearebettingonwhowillreachthetreatthefastest,thechickortheduck.]Joey:Allright.Let'sgetthecontestantsoutoftheirisolationbooths.(Heremovesthewastebucketthat'sovertheduckandthelaundrybasketthat'soverthechicken.)Andthey'reoff!(Heputshisfootinfrontofthechick,stoppingitfrommoving.)Phoebe:Getyourfootoffmycontestant!Judge!Joey:Judgerules,noviolation.Phoebe:Ohhh.Joey:AndtheduckgetstheNutter-Butter!Phoebe:(turningfromRoss.)No!!Hey-heythat'snotaNutter-Butter,that'sjustanoldWonton!Joey:Judgerules,Nutter-Butter.Phoebe:Ohh,toughcall.Joey:Yeah.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode401:TheOneWithTheJellyfish,whereMonica,Joey,andChandlerarerelatingthattragicdaytheyspentonthebeach.]Joey:I’dseenthisthingonTheDiscoveryChannel...Ross:Waitaminute!Isawthat!OnTheDiscoveryChannel,yeah!Aboutjellyfishandhowifyou...(StopssuddenlyandturnstolookatMonica)Ewwww!!Youpeedonyourself?!PhoebeandRachel:Ewwww!!Monica:Youcan’tsaythat!!You-youdon’tknow!!ImeanIthoughtIwasgonnapassoutfromthepain!AnywayI-Itried,butI-Icouldn’t...bendthatway.So...(LooksatJoey.)Phoebe,Ross,andRachel:(turningtolookatJoey)Ewwww!!Joey:That’srightIsteppedup!She’smyfriendandsheneededhelp!AndifIhadtoo,I’dpeeonanyoneofyou![Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:Umm,no.Nobestfriend,no.Justalotofclosefriends.TheInterviewer:Soumm,nowbacktotheshow.Howdoesitfeeltohaveahugegayfanbase?Joey:Really?Me?Wow!Idon’tevenknowanyhugegaypeople![Cuttothegang.]Chandler:Ithurtsme.Itphysicallyhurtsme.[Cuttotheinterview.]TheInterviewer:Now,offtherecord,you’renot…[AnothergroupofflashbacksbeginwithEpisode513:TheOneWithJoey’sBag.JoeyiscarryingthebagandhasenteredCentralPerktotheamusementofRossandChandler.]Joey:What?Areyoureferringtomyman'sbag?Atfirst,Ithoughtitjustlookedgood,butit'spracticaltoo.Checkitout!It'sgotcompartmentsforallyourstuff!Yourwallet!Yourkeys!Youraddressbook!Ross:Yourmake-up![ThenextoneisfromEpisode712:TheOneWhereThey’reUpAllNight,JoeyandRossaredecidinghowtoclimbdownthefinalpartofthefireescape.]Ross:Okay.Now-now-nowshouldIclimbdownyourfrontsowe’refacetofaceor-orshouldIclimbdownyourbacksowe’re-we’rebutttoface.Joey:Ithinkfacetoface.Ross:Iwouldsaythat.Joey:Facetoface,yeah!Ross:Okay,hereIgo.Joey:Allright.(RossstepsontothebottomrungoftheladderandthenstepsonJoey’schest.)Joey:(grunting)Ohmy…HowmuchdoyouweighRoss?!Ross:Iprefernottoanswerthatrightnow,I’mstillcarryingalittleholidayweight.(Rosscontinuestoclimbdown.HeputshisotherfootfurtherdownonJoey’storso,butthatdoesn’tworkverywellandhe’sforcedtowraphislegsaroundJoey.WhichthenforcesJoeytogetaniceandcloseviewofRoss’scrotch.)Joey:Y’know,whenwetalkedaboutfacetoface,Idon’tthinkwethoughtitallthewaythrough.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode722:TheOneWithChandler’sDad.][Scene:CentralPerk,PhoebeissittingonthecouchasJoeyentersstrutting.]Joey:HeyPheebs!(Hesitsdownnexttoher.)Phoebe:Hey!Joey:Checkitout.(Heturnsaround,pullsdownhispants,andshowsPhoebethathe’sgotpantieson.)HowmuchofamanamI?!Phoebe:Wow!Nice!Manlyandalsokindofaslut.[ThenextoneisfromEpisode608:TheOneWithRoss’sTeeth,ChandlerisaccusingJoeyofbecominglessofaman.]Chandler:You’returningintoawoman.Joey:NoI’mnot.Whywouldyousaythat?That’sjustmean.Chandler:NowI’veupsetyou?WhatdidIsay?Joey:It’snotwhatyousaid.It’sthewayyousaidit…OhMyGod,I’mawoman!!![ThenextoneisfromEpisode706:TheOneWithTheNapPartners.][Scene:JoeyandRachel's,JoeyandRossarenappingtogetheragainandbothwakeupatthesametime.]Joey:Greatnap.Ross:Itreallywas.(SuddenlyRachelclearsherthroatandthecameracutstotherestofthegangstaringatthem.NeedlesstosayJoeyandRossareshockedandslowlyturntheirheadstoseethegang.)[Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:Uhme?Gay?No!No.No,butIhaveanumberofclosefriendswhoare.(ChandlerandRosslookateachother.)TheInterviewer:So,let’stalkaboutwomen.I’msureourfemalereaderswillbeinterestedtoknowaboutyourromanticlife.[AnotherseriesofflashbacksbeginswithEpisode413:TheOneWithRachel’sCrush,JoeyistellingRachelandPhoebehowhepicksupwomen.]Joey:Oh-oh-oh-oh,howIdoitis,Ilookawomanupanddownandsay,"Hey,howyoudoin’?"Phoebe:Oh,please!Joey:(toPhoebe)Hey,howyoudoin’?(Phoebelooksathim,andthengigglesandlooksaway.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode605:TheOneWithJoey'sPorsche.][Scene:Thestreet,JoeyismessingwithacarcoverandstillwearingthePorschestuff.ThisguyplayingstreetfootballcatchesapassnexttothecarcoverJoeyisfoolingaroundwith.]Joey:Hey!Howyoudoin’?Woman:(toherfriend)HehasthemostamazingPorscheunderthere!Joey:I’dlovetoshowya,butIjusttuckedherin.She’ssleeping.(Thewomenbothlaugh)Heyuh,wouldyoutwogirlsliketogoforadrink?(Justthenthesameguywiththefootballdivestomakeacatch,landsonthecarcover,andcollapsesit.ItturnsoutthatJoeysetupabunchofboxestomakeitlooklikeaPorsche.)[ThenextoneisfromEpisode613:TheOneWithRachel’sSister,Chandlerhasjustopenedthedoortorevealawomanstandingthere.]Woman:Hi,isRachelhere?I’mhersister.Rachel:OhmyGod,Jill!Jill:OhmyGod,Rachel!(Theyrunandhugeachother.)Chandler:OhmyGod,introduceus!Rachel:ThisisChandler.(Pointsathim.)Jill:Hi!Rachel:AndyouknowMonicaandRoss!Ross:HiJill.Rachel:Andthat’sPhoebe(points),andthat’sJoey.Joey:Hey,(intheJoeyvoice)howyoudoin’?Rachel:Don’t!!(Joeybacksawayfrightened.)[ThefinaloneisfromEpisode607:TheOneWherePhoebeRuns,JoeyhasbeentryingtorepelJaniceandseesit’snotworkingtohislikingsohe’sconfrontingheraboutthesexualtension.]Janine:No!Imeanyou'reareallyniceguyandI'mhappytobeyourroommateandyourfriend,I'mjusty'know,Ijustdon'tfeelthatwayaboutyou.Joey:Oh!Iseewhathappened.It'sbecauseIwastryingtorepelyou.Right?Believeme,you'dfeelalotdifferentifIturnediton.Janine:Idon'tthinkso.Joey:Oh,Ido.(GiveshertheJoey-lovelook.)Howyoudoin?Janine:I'mokay.Joey:What?!?!OhdearGod![Cuttotheinterview.]Joey:NotmuchtotellthereI’mreallyshy.(Thegangisconfused.)TheInterviewer:So,that’sit.Iguessthat’sallIneed.Thankyousomuch.Ithinktheywillberunningthisinthebeginningofnextmonth.Joey:Ohgreat!Great!Thankyou.(Theyshakehands.)TheInterviewer:Bye.Joey:Bye-bye.(Theinterviewerleavesandhesitsdownwiththerestofthegang.)Ididit!Rachel:Yeah!Ross:Amazing!Amazing!TheInterviewer:(returning)Ohwait!Ialmostforgot.Wehavetoaskeverybodythis.OtherthanDaysofOurLives,what’syourfavoritesoapopera?Joey:Oh,Idon’twatchsoapoperas.Excuseme,Ihavealife,y’know?(Thegangisdisappointed.)TheInterviewer:Thankyou.ThereadersatSoapOperaDigestwillbehappytohearthat.Joey:Oh,goodtoknow.(Theinterviewerleaves.)Soclose!ClosingCredits[Scene:MonicaandChandler's,everyoneisreadingJoey’sinterview.]Rachel:Wow!Ican’tbelievetheydidn’tputitinthepartwhereyousaidyoudidn’twatchsoapoperas.Joey:Yeah,Icalledtheladyaboutthat.ItoldherIwasjustjoking.Shewasprettyniceaboutthat.Monica:Yousleptwithherdidn’tyou?Joey:Littlebit,yeah.Ross:Wow!Thispictureofyousureissteamy.Joey:Ohyeah,that’sjustalittlesomethingformyhugegayfanbase.(Winksathim.)Ross:Didyoujustwinkatme?Joey:Hey,you’retheonethatlovesthepicture.End819乔伊接受采访嗨嗨我正在我的房间里,做《肥皂剧文摘》的纵横填字游戏猜测谁是竖着第三排的填字线索竖着第三排？《光辉日子》中的明星，空格-崔比昂尼那是我!我就是空格（废物）!阿哈！嗨太酷了我们竟然认识“竖着第三排"我正在抚摸“竖着第三排”是的,宝贝但“竖着第三排”知道我已婚“竖着第三排”该怎么办?很抱歉他们打电话通知过你吗？你的名字会出现在这里？没有但是他们真得中意我他们准备给我大张旗鼓的宣传一番但是我拒绝了你为什么拒绝?记得么？上次他们对我做的访问?我说我给自己角色写了很多台词然後编剧就发疯了让我演的角色一脚踏空，摔死在电梯黑洞所以，谁知道我这次会说什么?你讲话是否经过大脑？哦,乔伊你这次能完全控制好的而且,你知道,宣传真的有利于你发展事业，这也是你应得的机会如果你接受访问,你能否提一下哦，我想想看,女朋友瑞秋格林这个女朋友是否拼写作L-O-S-E-R（失败者）?嗨,别听他的求求你了好吧就听你的但是，嗨,你们一定要坐在我边上的桌子这样你们能制止我,如果我,开始胡说八道只坐一会儿还是一直要？你知道，我们都得工作哦，我们会全程陪着你的只要记得提，女朋友瑞秋格林我就会出现在《肥皂剧文摘》里，而不是在差劲的纵横字谜中说真的，我为你骄傲好的我真的感谢你花时间接受访问哦,不用谢，我很高兴我们这样偷听是不是太明显了?不，我们只是脖子有问题的四个人谁会像这样说话?你选这里受访我认为很棒你知道,当大多数的人听到杂志会支付费用时他们都要去豪华大餐厅实际上，我不知道杂志请客没关系我是为影迷来的,又不是来吃白食请问要点什么?嗯,我要一杯咖啡哦,我要所有的松饼嗨嘘我们没在聊天哦,终于安静了好,根据你的公开简历你在出演《光辉日子》前做过一些工作有什么特别令你自豪的?各位，你们碰上过这种糗事么你从电冰箱拿一盒美味的牛奶但是牛奶盒子却非常难开没错，麦可，让你说着了哦！一定有更好的办法是的,凯文这是他第一次使用他以前从没用过这种产品你将会看到本产品使用起来多么容易继续这东西可以用在任何盒装牛奶上哦,真是方便现在我每天都能有牛奶喝了！现在我每天都能有牛奶喝了！我们就这样完了吗，维克托？是的,我想是的而且...我就要登上太空船。。去布拉根7号星寻找新的燃料当我回来的时候已经过去了200年你早已经不在了而我正当年轻所以请你告诉你的曾曾孙女来看我安翠,宝贝...因为我想要见她“嘘”，快看，我出场了看,我正要去修复印机我没走到复印机那里我正在想,"我该怎么办?"我只能眼睁睁看着他们做爱然後我说--注意,我有台词了：你们会把托纸架压坏的说得好，朋友谢谢，等等、等等，你们又能看见我了见鬼,我被那个家伙的屁股挡住了我在那里我在那里我在那里哦,做过太多事了，很难挑出一个讲给你听我去要咖啡有人想要什么吗？哦,是的,我要橘味松饼,和菊花茶呃,加量的意大利香奶咖啡,多加点泡沫百吉饼只加...我只是出于客套问一下好,说说你不工作的时候空闲时间内做什么?看看这个小丑他以为他有条大船就可以占据整条河了滚出去，蠢驴!他们竟然起名叫海岸警卫队他们就是海岸警卫队他们跑到这里做什么那边才是海岸呢嗨来看看真不敢相信乔伊已经憋气了几乎四分钟见鬼，你想杀了我么？啊，你过了很有建设性的一天嘛你不认为牛仔帽应该大一点?来吧，很好玩好吧这不是一顶女人的帽子吗?蠢货，不要胡说八道了快去泡茶你知道么?啊!?我们必须关掉色情节目我认为你是对的好，准备好了么？一,二,三这样好多了是的,松了一口气是的你不想看一下色情片还在么？是的免费的色情