Unit4Scientistwhochangedtheworld写作之读后续写课件高中英语译林版

Unit4

Scientistswhochangedtheworld译林版2020必修第三册读后续写：与科技相关读话题写作文高一下

LearningobjectivesAttheendofclass,youwillbeableto：1.指导学生准确确定文本、时空、人物和事由；2.指导学生谋篇布局，故事情节衔接自然，叙事完整；3.指导学生遣词造句，言语得体。12技法点拨

目录CONTENTS

写作实践

技法点拨：

故事冲突的预设与解决01例1.（2021年6月浙江卷Para.1）Thepaydayarrivedatlast.IwasdelightedtofinallygetthepaymentafterIworkedhardfortwoweeks.Onthewayhomefullofexcitement,Ithoughtabouthowtomakeuseofthe“huge”sumofmoney.“Ineededanewfootballinthefuture.”Iwhisperedtomyself.Approachingmyhouse,Inoticedmydadandmomstandingbesidetheoldtruckofmyfamily,lookingsad.Itseemedasifsomethingwronghadhappened......【赏析】续写第一段中的“Onthewayhomefullofexcitement”表明了故事主人公的好心情，但是当面对新的问题“mydadandmomstandingbesidetheoldtruckofmyfamily,lookingsad”时，故事主人公内心开始出现冲突与疑问，这就反映在“somethingwrong”上面。两种心态的冲突描写前后衔接自然且恰到好处。【用语储备】“感到一阵······”：feelaflushof...=feelawaveof...=feelafeeling/senseof...[joy(高兴),excitement(兴奋),pride(骄傲),anger(愤怒),rage(狂怒),panic(惊慌),alarm(惊慌),terror(恐惧),horror(恐惧),fear(恐惧),unease(不安),sorrow(悲伤),sadness(悲伤),grief(悲伤),embarrassment(尴尬),disappointment(失望),shame(羞愧),guilt(愧疚)]。1.面对问题，主人公产生的消极或积极情绪例1.（2021年1月浙江卷Para.2）ThevideowaspostedonlinetheMondaybeforeHalloween.Ilookedjustlikeapumpkinheadinit.Embarrassedandalittleannoyed,Ifledtomyroom,butMomstoppedme.“Youhaven’treadthecommentsyet.”IscrolleddownthescreenandmarveledatthestoriestheviewerssharedaboutHalloween.【赏析】续写第二段首句提示语提供了一个新的情境，即“Thevideowaspostedonline”，这让故事主人公内心冲突加剧（Embarrassedandalittleannoyed），当听了母亲的话之后，主人公开始阅读网上的评论，这又将主人公引向另一情境，结果主人公内心又起了变化（marveled）。情境的不断变换，加剧了故事主人公内心的矛盾冲突。2.面对复杂的情境，主人公产生急迫/复杂的心理【用语储备】⑴心里想：think/saytooneself⑵害怕；恐慌：withfear/panic/terror;tremble;shiver;shake;quake;tremblewithfear;beseizedwithpanic;screamwithpanic/terror;freeze/shakewithterror⑶生气；愤怒：withrage;bered-cheekedwithrage;tremble/shakewithrage;feellikecryingwithrage;bespeechlesswithrage;beboilingwithrage⑷兴奋；激动：withexcitement;yellwithexcitement;jumpupanddownwithexcitement;screamwithexcitement;gowildwithexcitement⑸悲伤；流泪：Tearsblurredone’seyes.泪水模糊了她的双眼。/One’seyesgotmisty.一个人的眼睛都模糊了。/One’seyesmisted/dimmedwithtears.泪眼模糊。/tearsrolldownone’seyes/cheeks/face泪水落下2.面对复杂的情境，主人公产生急迫/复杂的心理例3.(2021新高考I卷Para.2）Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.Whentheirmothersawthedeliciousandperfectbreakfastinfrontofher,shewasverysurprised.Itwasnotonlythegift,buttheloveofthechildrenforherthatmovedherverymuch.Thetwochildrencouldfinishcookingabreakfast,whichshedidn’texpect.Thechildrensaidloudly,“HappyMother’sDay!”Motherhuggedthemtightlyandkissedthemagainandagain.【赏析】续写第二段中，当双胞胎叫醒母亲（woketheirmotherup）后，母亲的动作首先有“saw”和“wasverysurprised”，之后在双胞胎发出节日问候“HappyMother’sDay”时，母亲的动作有“hugged”和“kissed”。这种新的动作行为在故事情节冲突拓展过程中是比较重要的，它经常用于表达人物对情节中的矛盾冲突的回应模式及态度。【用语储备】常用词语：openone’smouth;widenone’seyes;risetoone’sfeet;jumptoone’sfeet;shoutatthetopofone’slung;reachout（伸出手）3.面对他人的行为，主人公展开了新的动作/行为例4.（2018年6月浙江卷Para.1）Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.MyhorseturnedtothelefttoavoidthelittlerabbitasIheldontightlyandtriednottofall.Thenmydadturnedaroundandshouted,“Holdon!”Allofasuddenthehorsebegantorun.Mydadtriedtokeepupbehindus.Forafewminutesmyhorsesloweddowntoatrotandthenstoppedbesideariver.Ilookedaroundandrealizedthatwewerewayoffthetrack.【赏析】续写第一段首句承接源语篇，提供了一个新的情境，即“rabbitjumpedout”，从而引发了马与人的一系列的避险动作，并且马由于受惊而奔跑起来，最终将主人公带入了另一个困境，即“wewerewayoffthetrack”。【用语储备】⑴不幸的是(unfortunately)Butbadluckforsb,...但是某人真不走运Shetriedherbest,butinvain.她尽力了，但没有成功。⑵某人做了某事，不知道下一步该做什么。Sbdidsth.,wonderingwhattodonext.Sbdidsth.,notknowingwhattodonext.4.主人公沉浸在某一情境中，出现了新问题例5.（2020年7月浙江卷Para.2）Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.MyheartleapedwithjoyasIknewwewerelikelytobesaved.Elliusedpeppersprayagaintobuyusenoughtime.Butthistimethebearbecamemorealert.Heregardeduswiththemercilessnecessityofhunger,sowethrowallthefoodwehave.Hethenturnedawayandstarteddevouring.Aswewereclimbingtheropeladder,Elliprayedlikethousandtimestoshowthankfulnessofbeingsafeandsound.【赏析】续写第二段首句预设了一个新的情境“thehelicopterarrived”，于是故事主人公的心情好转（Myheartleapedwithjoy），并且当再次遇到熊的攻击时，主人公就又有了新的想法（wethrowallthefoodwehave），这将故事的冲突与发展带到另一个情境中；此外，当获救后，主人公又开始感谢（Elliprayedlikethousandtimestoshowthankfulnessofbeingsafeandsound）。可见，用新的想法接续“情况好转”，可以细致地捕捉人物在整个事件发展过程中的特定反应和细节。【用语储备】“某人突然想到……”：Itsuddenlyoccurredtosbthat...=Ithitsbthat...=Itstrucksbthat...=Itdawnedonsbthat...5.情况好转或情境向好，主人公突然有了一个想法例6.（2017年6月浙江卷Para.2）Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Theyfoundthedangeroussituation,wherethreemencircledthewolf.Mac'sfriendsalsojumpedofftheirbicyclesandjoinedthefightwiththewolf.Moreandmorecarsstopped.Somedriverstookoutthesticksfromthecars,andsometookouttheknives,eventhegunstowardsthewolf.Inthemeanwhile,thewolfmightfeelthepeople'sthreatsaround,soitbegantostepbackslowly.Soon,itranawayofftheroadanddisappearedinthedistance.【赏析】续写第二段首句提示给出了来帮忙的人（theothertwocyclistsarrived），之后又不断有人加入（Mac'sfriendsalsojumpedofftheirbicycles/Moreandmorecarsstopped），故事中的人物有了一系列与狼对抗的动作，如“circledthewolf”“tookoutthesticksfromthecars”“tookouttheknives”等，这些将故事中人狼对峙的冲突进一步推向高潮。【用语储备】⑴鼓起勇气(做某事):take/gatherone’scourage(todosth)⑵毫不犹豫：withoutasecondthought/withoutdelay/withouthesitation(3)没有选择：havingnochoice6.面对他人的鼓励或帮助等，主人公找到解决办法例7.（2022年1月浙江卷Para.2）OnedayIgotwordthathewasadmittedtohospitalforaseriousdisease.IfeltsosorrytohearthatandIthoughtIshouldvisithiminanycase.HewasalittlesurprisedtoseemewhenIsteppedintohiswardwithsomeflowersandfruits.Iofferedtodotherestworkofourprojectandheinvitedmetosharemyideastoperfectit.Webegantoworkasafineteamandfinallyfinishedourprojectontime.OurhardworkpaidoffandDr.Henderson’swasverysatisfiedwithourwonderfulfindings.Fromthisproject,wealsolearnedthesignificanceofteammates.Justasthesayinggoes,onepersoncangofar,butagroupofpersonscantravelfarther.【赏析】续写第二段中主人公最后发现能与队友和谐相处并最终完成了项目（Webegantoworkasafineteamandfinallyfinishedourprojectontime），这引发了主人公的反响，并且主人公的这种体验不断地深入（从“wealsolearnedthesignificanceofteammates”到“agroupofpersonscantravelfarther”），充分展现了主人公内心的矛盾冲突从不断激化到出现转机、再到一步步迎刃而解的过程。7.主人公获得新的成长，从而总结、点题并呼应前文【用语储备】⑴直到······才意识到······倒装句：Notuntil...didsbrealize/noticethat...强调句：Itwasonly...thatsbrealizedthat...⑵表达经历与教训WhatavaluablelessonIhavelearnedfrom...!我从······中得到了宝贵的教训。Whatanunforgettableexperience!多么难忘的经历啊!⑶结尾点题Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves.天助自助者。Everyoneisthearchitectofhisownfate.每个人都是自己命运的建筑师。Lifeisfulloflaughterandtears.Onlybyacceptingbothcanweenjoylife.生命就是充满欢笑和泪水的。只有同时接受两者，我们才能享受生活。Neverunderestimatethepowerofyouraction.永远不要低估你的行为的力量。7.主人公获得新的成长，从而总结、点题并呼应前文写作实践：

科技相关读后续写02阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

DerekandShirleywalkedoutoftheairportbuildingandintothebrightsunshine.Lookingupatthebrilliantblueskyandthenatthefarawaymountainsrisingabovetheswayingpalmtrees,theycouldn’twaittostarttheirholiday.Ataxipulledupswiftlyandsilently.DerekdroppedtheirsuitcasesintothebootandjoinedShirleyinthebackseat.“PalmTreesHotel,please,”Dereksaidexcitedly.“Certainly,sir,”repliedthedriver,asheturnedaroundwithaflashingwhitesmile.DerekandShirleygaveeachotherapuzzledlookasthetaxieasedsmoothlyintothetraffic.“Excuseme,er,yourfaceseemsveryfamiliar—infact,youremindusofthatfamousfilmstar,RockyOverton...butofcourse,youcan’tbe.”DerekandShirleysatinsilentdisbeliefasthedriverexplainedthathewasnotarealperson,butarobotmadetolooklikeafamousactor.“Rocky”explainedthatthetaxicompanyhadpurchasedthelatestmodelofrobotdriverssincetheywereprogrammedtobesaferandmorereliablethanhumandrivers.“So,hereIam,”“Rocky”continued,“yourfirstrobottaxidriver!”DerekandShirleyheldeachother’shandsmoretightly.“Relax,”“Rocky”reassuredthem,“thereisnothingforyoutoworryabout.Icanassureyouthatmydrivingskillsareexcellent.I’mequippedwithperfectvisionandsuperiorreactions,andIknoweverystreetinthecity.IaminstantlyupdatedwiththelatesttrafficinformationsothatIcanavoidtrafficjamsandgetyoutoyourdestinationinthequickestandleaststressfulmanner.Pleasesitback,relaxandenjoythejourney.”DerekandShirley,feelingalittlebetter,leanedbackintheirseatsandclosedtheireyes.“Andanotherthing,”“Rocky”added,“mylineofrobotsrepresentstheultimateincomputertechnology.Iambeautifullydesigned,madefromonlythebestmaterialsandsubjecttothestrictestqualitychecks.Therefore,youareentirelysafewithme.Nothingcouldpossiblygowrong...couldpossiblygowrong...gowrong...gowrong...”典例赏析注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Para.1:DerekandShirleylookedateachotherwithgreatfearintheireyes.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para.2:“Don’tworry,sir,”camethecalmreplyonthephone,“Andyourtaxiisalsoadriverlesscar.”____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________22第一步：读透文本1.主题分析本文讲述了DerekandShirley在度假期间的一次惊险经历，两人在假期刚开始的路上遇到机器人出租车司机出现故障，但在机器人公司的帮忙下有惊无险地到达了目的地。2.情节梳理：故事要素即故事的人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过和结果，也就是我们常说的“5W1H”。要

素内容whenWhenstartedtheirholidaywhereOnthewaytothePalmTreesHotelwhoDerekandShirleyWhatThetaxicompanyhelpedDerekandShirleygettothetheirhotelsafely.WhyTherobotdriverishavingabreakdownandhe’scompletelyoutofcontrol.How?22第二步：构建情节1.构思续写两段情节①根据第一段段首句“DerekandShirleylookedateachotherwithgreatfearintheireyes.(Derek和Shirley面面相觑，眼中充满了极度的恐慌。)”可知，第一段可描写机器人司机出故障之后，两人的反应以及对于问题的解决办法。根据技巧点拨，此段续写中，可以预设故事的冲突：面对机器人汽车失控，Derek和Shirley表现出的惊慌情绪，以及采取的措施，如给出租车公司打电话求救等。思路点拨②根据第二段段首句“‘Don’tworry,sir,’camethecalmreplyonthephone,‘Andyourtaxiisalsoadriverlesscar.’(‘别担心，先生，’电话里传来平静的回答，‘而且您的出租车也是一辆无人驾驶汽车。’)”可知，第二段可描写出租车公司对于德里克和雪莉的帮助以及故事的结局。根据技巧点拨，此段续写中，需要解决故事的冲突，情节构思如下：出租车公司如何使汽车停下来，Derek和Shirley的心情如何变化以及在平安达目的地后，Derek和Shirley的感悟，最后点题并呼应前文。2.续写线索：险情发生——两人行为——寻求帮助——解决办法——安全到达思路点拨点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语；点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句；点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。情节构建的重点2322第三步：巧用话题词汇、句式完成句子1.Thetaxi__________________________(越开越快),and“Rocky”seemedtobemalfunctioning.2.“Slowdown!”Derekshouted,but“Rocky”didnotrespond.Therobot____________________________________________________(比之前开得更快了，险些撞上一辆车).3.Terrified,Derekgrabbedhisphone._________________(手指颤抖着),hecalledthetaxicompany.“Hello?”Derek____________________(对着手机大喊),“Ourrobotdriverishavingabreakdownand__________________________(他完全失控了).Weneedhelpquickly!”4.Thereplycontinued,“We________________________________(我们有能力让机器人司机失去行动能力).Letmeswitchyourtaxitothedriverlessmodeand_____________________(安全地把你送到目的地).”完成句子wasmovingfasterandfasterdroveevenfasterthanbeforeandnarrowlymissedacarWithtremblingfingersshoutedintothephonehe’scompletelyoutofcontrolhavetheauthoritytodisabletherobotdrivergetyoutoyourdestinationsafely5.Thetaxi__________________(立刻慢了下来)and____________________________(一切恢复正常),althoughitsdrivercouldbeheardmumblingtohimself,“...gowrong...gowrong...”.6.Whentheyfinallyarrivedattheirhotel,DerekandShirleyquicklygotoutofthetaxi,__________________________(劫后余生，心有余悸).7.____________________________(当他们看着出租车开走时),theyagreedthatfortherestoftheholiday,theywouldwalkeverywhere!完成句子immedidatelysloweddowncontinuedasifnothinghadhappenedrelievedandgratefultobealiveAstheywatchedthetaximoveawayDerekandShirleylookedateachotherwithwildpanicintheireyes.Thetaxiwasmovingfasterandfaster,and“Rocky”seemedtobemalfunctioning(衔接句+场景描写).“Slowdown!”Derekshouted,but“Rocky”didnotrespond.Therobotdroveevenfasterthanbeforeandnarrowlymissedacar(场景描写).Terrified,Derekgrabbedhisphone(心理描写+动作描写).Withtremblingfingers,hecalledthetaxicompany.“Hello?”Derekshoutedintothephone,“Ourrobotdriverishavingabreakdownandhe’scompletelyoutofcontrol.Weneedhelpquickly!”(动作描写+神态描写+衔接结尾句)“Don’tworry,sir,”camethecalmreplyonthephone,“Andyourtaxiisalsoadriverlesscar.”Thereplycontinued,“Wehavetheauthoritytodisabletherobotdriver.Letmeswitchyourtaxitothedriverlessmodeandgetyoutoyourdestinationsafely.”(衔接句+动作描写)Thetaxiimmediatelysloweddownandcontinuedasifnothinghadhappened,althoughitsdrivercouldbeheardmumblingtohimself,“...gowrong...gowrong...”(由asif引导的方式状语从句和although引导的让步状语从句).Whentheyfinallyarrivedattheirhotel,DerekandShirleyquicklygotoutofthetaxi,relievedandgratefultobealive.Astheywatchedthetaximoveaway,theyagreedthatfortherestoftheholiday,theywouldwalkeverywhere!(when引导的时间状语从句+段尾主题升华)佳作展现Attheendofthelesson,Iamableto：12345planthelayoutofthestory(theplotisnatural,andthenarrativeisgood)useappropriatewordsandsentencestoexpresswhatIwanttowriteancontinuationwritingproperly.自我评价阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

In2018,17-year-oldHemeshspentalife-changingsummerwithhisgrandmotherAnne,whohadbeendiagnosedwithAlzheimer’sdisease.Witnessingtheimpactofthediseasefirsthand,Hemeshwasawakenedtotheseriousnessofthesituation.Onenight,Hemeshwalkedintothekitchenonlytodiscoverthathisgrandmotherhadleftthegasstove（炉）onaftermakingtea.ShockedbythedangerousconsequencesAlzheimer’sdiseasecouldbringabout,hecouldn’thelpbutwonderwhatmighthavehappenedifhehadn’tbeenthere.Hemesh’sworriesincreasedasheobservedhisgrandmother’sbehavior.Shewouldwakeupintheearlyhoursofthemorning,believingshewasonatrain,andwanderoutsideaimlessly.Thiswanderingtendencycouldpotentiallyleadhertogetlostorputherselfinriskysituations.Determinedtomakeadifference,HemeshengagedhimselfinextensiveresearchaboutAlzheimer’sdiseaseanditssymptomatic（症状的）progression.Throughhisstudies,hediscoveredthatwanderingwasacommonproblemamongdementiapatients,especiallythosewithAlzheimer’sdisease.Inspiredbyhisnewfoundknowledgeandfueledbyhisdesiretohelp,Hemeshtoldhisfamily,“Ican’tjuststandbyandwatchthishappen.IneedtodosomethingtokeepGrandmasafe.IthinkIhaveanideathatmighthelpnotjusther,butothersinsimilarsituations.”Withfirmdetermination,hedevelopedaninventiveanswertothewanderingdilemma,adevicehecalledtheGuardianCompanion.Itwasawearabledevice,similartoasmartwatch,specificallydesignedforAlzheimer’spatients.ItintegratedadvancedGPStechnologyandapanicbuttontoassistthosewhotendedtowander,ensuri