University Days（James Thurber）大学时光 中英对照完整版

UniversityDays（JamesThurber）大学时光中英对照完整版作者：JamesThurber詹姆斯·瑟伯译本说明：全文完整无删减，原文+精准中文对照，适配高校英语精读教材、考研、自考复习使用。IpassedalltheothercoursesthatItookatmyUniversity,butIcouldneverpassbotany.我在大学里修的其他课程全都及格了，唯独植物学始终过不了。Thiswasbecauseallbotanystudentshadtospendseveralhoursaweekinalaboratorylookingthroughamicroscopeatplantcells,andIcouldneverseethroughamicroscope.原因是所有植物学专业的学生，每周都要在实验室花上好几个小时，通过显微镜观察植物细胞，而我从来都看不清显微镜里的东西。Ineveroncesawacellthroughamicroscope.Thisusedtoenragemyinstructor.我一次细胞都没看清过，这常常把授课老师气得够呛。Hewouldwanderaroundthelaboratorypleasedwiththeprogressallthestudentsweremakingindrawingtheinvolvedand,soIamtold,interestingstructureofflowercells,untilhecametome.老师总会在实验室里来回踱步，看着其他学生认真绘制复杂且据说十分有趣的花朵细胞结构，满心欣慰，可一走到我面前，好心情就荡然无存。Iwouldjustbestandingthere."Ican'tseeanything,"Iwouldsay.我就呆呆地站在原地，对他说：“我什么都看不见。”Hewouldbeginpatientlyenough,explaininghowanybodycanseethroughamicroscope,buthewouldalwaysendupinafury;claimingthatIcouldtooseethroughamicroscopebutjustpretendedthatIcouldn't.起初他还耐着性子讲解，说任何人都能看清显微镜的成像，可最后总会大发雷霆，笃定我明明看得见，只是故意装瞎。"Ittakesawayfromthebeautyofflowersanyway,"Iusedtotellhim.我常常跟他辩解：“反正这样观察，反而抹杀了花朵本身的美感。”"Wearenotconcernedwithbeautyinthiscourse,"hewouldsay."WeareconcernedsolelywithwhatImaycallthemechanicsofflowers."他总会反驳：“这门课不讲美感，只研究花朵的构造原理。”"Well,"I'dsay."Ican'tseeanything."我依旧无奈：“可我就是什么都看不见。”"Tryitjustonceagain,"he'dsay,andIwouldputmyeyetothemicroscopeandseenothingatall,exceptnowandagainanebulousmilkysubstance—aphenomenonofmaladjustment.他会让我再试一次，我凑近镜头，依旧一无所获，偶尔只能看到一片模糊的乳白色雾气，这是显微镜调试不当造成的现象。Youweresupposedtoseeavivid,restlessclockworkofsharplydefinedplantcells.正常情况下，镜头里应该能看到轮廓清晰、层次分明、如同精密齿轮般鲜活的植物细胞。"Iseewhatlookslikealotofmilk,"Iwouldtellhim.我只能告诉老师：“我看到的就是一片白茫茫的奶水。”This,heclaimed,wastheresultofmynothavingadjustedthemicroscopeproperly,sohewouldreadjustitforme,orrather,forhimself.AndIwouldlookagainandseemilk.老师认定是我调试方法不对，亲自上手重新调试，可我再次观察，看到的依旧是白茫茫的一片。Ifinallytookadeferredpass,astheycalledit,andwaitedayearandtriedagain.(Youhadtopassoneofthebiologicalsciencesoryoucouldn'tgraduate.)最后我只能申请缓考，休学一年后重新补考。（当时学校规定，必须通过一门生物类课程，否则无法毕业。）Theprofessorhadcomebackfromvacationbrownasaberry,bright-eyed,andeagertoexplaincell-structureagaintohisclasses.新学期，教授度假归来，肤色黝黑、神采奕奕，满心期待地准备再次给学生讲解细胞结构。"Well,"hesaidtome,cheerily,whenwemetinthefirstlaboratoryhourthesemester,"we'regoingtoseecellsthistime,aren'twe?"新学期第一节实验课，他笑着对我说：“这次我们一定能看清细胞，对吧？”"Yes,sir,"Isaid.我答道：“好的，老师。”Studentstotherightofmeandleftofmeandinfrontofmewereseeingcells,what'smore,theywerequietlydrawingpicturesofthemintheirnotebooks.Ofcourse,Ididn'tseeanything.我前后左右的同学都看清了细胞，还安安静静地在笔记本上绘图，唯独我，依旧一无所见。"We'lltryit,"theprofessorsaidtome,grimly,"witheveryadjustmentofthemicroscopeknowntoman.教授脸色严肃地对我说：“今天我把显微镜的所有调试方法都试一遍。”AsGodismywitness,I'llarrangethisglasssothatyouseecellsthroughitorI'llgiveupteaching.“我对天发誓，要么让你看清细胞，要么我就此放弃教书。”Intwenty-twoyearsofbotany,I—"Hecutoffabruptlyforhewasbeginningtoquiverallover,likeLionelBarrymore,andhegenuinelywishedtoholdontohistemper;hissceneswithmehadtakenagreatdealoutofhim.“我教了二十二年植物学，从来没有……”他突然停住了，浑身气得发抖，极力克制着怒火。这些年为了教我，他早已心力交瘁。Sowetrieditwitheveryadjustmentofthemicroscopeknowntoman.于是我们逐一调试了显微镜的所有参数。WithonlyoneofthemdidIseeanythingbutblacknessorthefamiliarlactealopacity,andthattimeIsaw,tomypleasureandamazement,avariegatedconstellationofflecks,specks,anddots.全程几乎都是漆黑一片或熟悉的白雾，唯独最后一次，我惊喜地看到镜头里出现了密密麻麻、五颜六色的斑点和光点。TheseIhastilydrew.我立刻飞快地把这些图案画了下来。Theinstructor,notingmyactivity,camefromanadjoiningdesk,asmileonhislipsandhiseyebrowshighinhope.老师看到我动笔绘图，连忙从旁边走过来，眉眼带笑，满怀期待。Helookedatmycelldrawing."What'sthat?"hedemanded,withahintofsquealinhisvoice.可他看清我的画后，声音瞬间变尖，质问道：“这画的是什么？”"That'swhatIsaw,"Isaid.我说：“这就是我看到的画面。”"Youdidn't,youdidn't,youdidn't!"hescreamed,losingcontrolofhistemperinstantly,andhebentoverandsquintedintothemicroscope.他瞬间暴怒，嘶吼道：“不可能！绝对不可能！”随即俯身凑近显微镜观察。Hisheadsnappedup."That'syoureye!"heshouted."You'vefixedthelenssothatitreflects!You'vedrawnyoureye!"他猛地抬头，大声喊道：“这是你的眼睛！你调的镜头反光，把自己的眼睛映进去了！你画的根本不是细胞，是你的眼睛！”AnothercourseIdidn'tlike,butsomehowmanagedtopass,waseconomics.还有一门我很不喜欢、却勉强及格的课程是经济学。Iwenttothatclassstraightfromthebotanyclass,whichdidn'thelpmeanyinunderstandingeithersubject.Iusedtogetthemmixedup.我上完植物学课直接去上经济学课，两门课我都一知半解，还常常把知识点混淆。Butnotasmixedupasanotherstudentinmyeconomicsclasswhocametheredirectfromaphysicslaboratory.但我还不是最糊涂的，我们班有个上完物理实验课直接来上经济学的学生，比我更离谱。Hewasatackleonthefootballteam,namedBolenciecwcz.他叫博伦西茨，是学校橄榄球队的前锋。AtthattimeOhioStateUniversityhadoneofthebestfootballteamsinthecountry,andBolenciecwczwasoneofitsoutstandingstars.当时俄亥俄州立大学的橄榄球队全国顶尖，博伦西茨更是队内的王牌球星。Inordertobeeligibletoplayitwasnecessaryforhimtokeepupinhisstudies,averydifficultmatter,forwhilehewasnotdumberthananoxhewasnotanysmarter.想要参赛，就必须保证学业合格，这对他来说难如登天。他不算愚笨，但着实算不上聪明。Mostofhisprofessorswerelenientandhelpedhimalong.教他的大多数老师都格外宽容，处处放水，帮他过关。Nonegavehimmorehints,inansweringquestions,oraskedhimsimpleronesthantheeconomicsprofessor,athin,timidmannamedBassum.其中最心软的是经济学老师巴瑟姆，他性格温和腼腆，提问时总会刻意提示，甚至专门挑最简单的问题问他。Onedaywhenwewereonthesubjectoftransportationanddistribution,itcameBolenciecwcz'sturntoansweraquestion.一天，课堂讲到运输与流通的课题，刚好轮到博伦西茨答题。"Nameonemeansoftransportation,"theprofessorsaidtohim.老师提问：“说出一种交通工具。”Nolightcameintothebigtackle'seyes.这位高大的橄榄球球星一脸茫然，毫无头绪。"Justanymeansoftransportation,"saidtheprofessor.老师耐心提示：“随便说一种就行。”Bolenciecwczsatstaringathim.博伦西茨呆呆地盯着老师，一言不发。"Thatis,"pursuedtheprofessor,"anymedium,agency,ormethodofgoingfromoneplacetoanother."老师继续引导：“就是从一个地方去往另一个地方的载体、方式和工具。”Bolenciecwczhadthelookofamanwhoisbeingledintoatrap.博伦西茨神色局促，仿佛掉进了圈套一般，不知所措。"Youmaychooseamongsteam,horse-drawn,orelectricallypropelledvehicles,"saidtheinstructor.老师再次提示：“可以是蒸汽动力、马车、电力驱动的交通工具。”"Imightsuggesttheonewhichwecommonlytakeinmakinglongjourneysacrossland."“我提示一下，是我们长途陆路出行最常用的一种。”Therewasaprofoundsilenceinwhicheverybodystirreduneasily,includingBolenciecwczandMr.Bassum.教室里陷入死寂，所有人都坐立不安，学生和老师都格外尴尬。Mr.Bassumabruptlybrokethissilenceinanamazingmanner."Choo-choo-choo,"hesaid,inalowvoice,andturnedinstantlyscarlet.无奈之下，巴瑟姆老师低声模仿火车鸣笛：“呜——呜——”，话音刚落，他瞬间满脸通红。Heglancedappealinglyaroundtheroom.他窘迫地看向全班同学，满心无奈。Allofus,ofcourse,sharedMr.Bassum'sdesirethatBolenciecwczshouldstayabreastoftheclassineconomics.我们所有人都和老师一样，希望他能答对题目，顺利跟上课程进度。FortheIllinoisgame,oneofthehardestandmostimportantoftheseason,wasonlyaweekoff.因为一周后，球队就要迎战本赛季最难、最重要的伊利诺伊州大赛。"Toot,toot,too-tooooooot!"somestudentwithadeepvoicemoaned,andwealllookedencouraginglyatBolenciecwcz.班里有同学压低声音模仿火车声，所有人都用鼓励的眼神看着博伦西茨。Somebodyelsegaveafineimitationofalocomotivelettingoffsteam.还有同学模仿火车喷气的声音，帮他提示。Mr.Bassumhimselfroundedoffthelittleshow."Ding,dong,ding,dong,"hesaid,hopefully.老师也接着配合，满怀期待地模仿火车铃铛声。Bolenciecwczwasstaringatthefloornow,tryingtothink,hisgreatbrowfurrowed,hishugehandsrubbingtogether,hisfacered.博伦西茨低头盯着地面，眉头紧锁，双手局促地搓在一起，满脸通红，拼命思考。"Howdidyoucometocollegethisyear,Mr.Bolenciecwcz?"askedtheprofessor."Chuffachuffa,chuffachuffa."老师换了个提问方式，轻声问：“博伦西茨同学，你今年是怎么来学校的？”说完又低声模仿火车行驶声。"M'fathersentme,"saidthefootballplayer.球星答道：“我父亲送我来的。”"What'son?"askedBassum.老师追问：“坐什么来的？”"Igitan'lowance,"saidthetackle,inalow,huskyvoice,obviouslyembarrassed.他声音沙哑、局促地说：“我拿了生活费。”"No,no,"saidBassum,"Nameameansoftransportation.Whatdidyouridehereon?"老师连忙纠正：“不是，说出一种交通工具，你是坐什么交通工具来的？”"Train,"saidBolenciecwcz.博伦西茨终于答道：“火车。”"Quiteright,"saidtheprofessor."Now,Mr.Nugent,willyoutellus—"老师立刻欣慰地说：“非常正确。”随后转向另一位同学继续提问。IfIwentthroughanguishinbotanyandeconomics—fordifferentreasons—gymnasiumworkwasevenworse.如果说植物学和经济学已经让我备受煎熬，那体育课的经历更是糟糕透顶。Idon'tevenliketothinkaboutit.我甚至不愿回想那段经历。Theywouldn'tletyouplaygamesorjoinintheexerciseswithyourglassesonandIcouldn'tseewithmineoff.学校规定上体育课不能戴眼镜，可我摘掉眼镜就什么都看不清。Ibumpedintoprofessors,horizontalbars,agriculturalstudents,andswingingironrings.上课的时候，我看不清东西，频频撞到老师、单杠、其他农学院的同学，还有摆动的吊环。Notbeingabletosee,IcouldtakeitbutIcouldn'tdishitout.因为视力太差，我只能被动磕碰别人，根本没法正常运动。Also,inordertopassgymnasium(andyouhadtopassittograduate)youhadtolearntoswimifyoudidn'tknowhow.而且体育课是毕业必修课，不会游泳的人必须学会游泳才能及格。Ididn’tliketheswimmingpool,Ididn’tlikeswimming,andIdidn'tliketheswimminginstructor,andafteralltheseyearsIstilldon't.我讨厌泳池、讨厌游泳，也讨厌游泳老师，时隔多年，我依旧如此。IneverswambutIpassedmygymworkanyway,byhavinganotherstudentgivemygymnasiumnumber(978)andswimacrossthepoolinmyplace.我从来没有亲自下水游泳，最后却顺利及格，因为我找了一位同学，替我报我的学号978，帮我游完了全程。Hewasaquiet,amiableblondeyouth,number473,andhewouldhaveseenthroughamicroscopeformeifwecouldhavegotawaywithit,butwecouldn'tgetawaywithit.帮我的是一位温和安静的金发男生，学号473。要是可以的话，他连显微镜的课都愿意替我上，可惜那门课根本没法代考。AnotherthingIdidn'tlikeaboutgymnasiumworkwasthattheymadeyoustripthedayyouregistered.体育课还有一点让我很反感，入学登记当天，老师会要求所有人脱去衣物体检。ItisimpossibleformetobehappywhenIamstrippedandbeingaskedalotofquestions.当众脱衣，还要被反复盘问，我实在无法适应。Still,Ididbetterthanalankyagriculturalstudentwhowascross-examinedjustbeforeIwas.不过我比前面那位瘦高的农学院学生要好得多。Theyaskedeachstudentwhatcollegehewasin—thatis,whetherArts,Engineering,Commerce,orAgriculture.老师会询问每个学生的院系，文学院、工学院、商学院或是农学院。"Whatcollegeareyouin?"theinstructorsnappedattheyouthinfrontofme.老师厉声问前面的学生：“你是哪个院系的？”"OhioStateUniversity,"hesaidpromptly.那位学生脱口而出：“俄亥俄州立大学。”Itwasn'tthatagriculturalstudentbutitwasanotherawholelotlikehimwhodecidedtotakeupjournalism,还有一位和他一样木讷的农学院学生，选了新闻学课程，possiblyonthegroundthatwhenfarmingwenttohellhecouldfallbackonnewspaperwork.大概是想着务农没有出路的话，还能靠写报纸稿件谋生。Hedidn'trealize,ofcourse,thatthatwouldbeverymuchlikefallingbackfull-lengthonakitoncarpenter'stools.可他根本不知道，自己根本不适合写作，转行写稿无异于拿着木匠工具硬干别的活，完全行不通。Haskinsdidn'tseemcutoutforjournalism,beingtooembarrassedtotalktoanybodyandunabletouseatypewriter,这位名叫哈斯金斯的学生根本没有新闻天赋，他不善言辞、极度腼腆，连打字机都不会用，buttheeditorofthecollegepaperassignedhimtothecowbarns,thesheephouse,thehorsepavilion,andtheanimalhusbandrydepartmentgenerally.可校报编辑还是给他安排了畜牧板块的采编工作，负责牛棚、羊舍、马厩和整个畜牧系的新闻报道。Thiswasagenuinelybig"beat,"forittookupfivetimesasmuchgroundandgottentimesasgreatalegislativeappropriationastheCollegeofLiberalArts.这是个分量很重的采编板块，畜牧系的占地面积是文学院的五倍，经费拨款更是十倍之多。Theagriculturalstudentknewanimals,butneverthelesshisstoriesweredullandcolorlesslywritten.他虽然熟悉各类牲畜，写出的新闻却枯燥乏味、毫无文采。Hetookallafternoononeachoneofthem,onaccountofhavingtohuntforeachletteronthetypewriter.他每写一篇稿子都要耗费一下午时间，因为他打字极慢，需要一个个找字母按键。Onceinawhilehehadtoasksomebodytohelphimhunt."C"and"