梁祝歪传_(英语搞笑话剧).doc

梁祝歪传人物：梁山伯 祝英台 马文才 英母 英父 罗密欧 朱丽叶第一场景： 祝英台依依不舍 梁山伯挥泪惜别背景音乐 上海滩 梁山伯上场梁：Where is my Yingtai此时，背景音乐 少女时代的Gee 祝英台上场 彰显笑点 英台请注意表演梁:Yingtai ，I love you so much and Ill miss you so much.祝:I love you, too! Dont worry.BoBo, I only love you in this world. Ill marry you as soon as Im back. Wait for me just for two years.I need to study English in America.梁: Ill kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.祝:Ill kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo,this time I really should be going.依依不舍 背景音乐响起 不见不散 两人分别逐步后退祝英台一家人去了美国，马文才也跟了过去。第二场景： 英母喜爱马文才 英父痛批贪婪心英母：darling darling.（拉住英父）英父：（怒气转身）No matter what you Say, it is useless. The childs wedding could not be so hasty（仓促的）.英母：But dearling ,Mawencai was so cool and so rich, There is no doubt that this is matched(相匹配的) for marriage.And 被英父打断英父： I told you many times, we could not decide yingtai”s wedding.英母：darling.The Furthest Distance in The World Is not between life and death .But when I stand in front of you ,Yet you do not known he is so handsome.The furthest distance in the world Is not between poor and rich,but when I stand in front of you,Yet you can not see his love to yingtai.英父：Oh, honey,you are so konwledegable, 哼哼，give me a kiss，give me a kiss.英母：嘘.look,too many people作害羞状 英父：easy拿雨伞挡住 然后Kissing 第三场景： 马文才志疏学浅舍重金 英父母笑纳彩礼嫁爱女（马文才上，拿折扇）马：I love yingtai so much. I hope I can make it .马：aunt注意回音效果英母：文才注意回音效果马：哎英母：oh，That was you， come in ，sit down please!马：aunt, I love yingtai so much，you know . here are my gifts，100 bottles of 国窖1573 .笑点 广告英母：喝了1573，腿也不疼了，腰也不酸了，一口气能上三楼了，一瓶顶过去五瓶马:他好，我也好 （整个广告过程面向观众，突出效果）马：three Benz and a big house in the seaside and so on .I hope you will like them! 母：there is no doubt that yingtai must be yours , you are so handsome. 父： NO way ! 大怒指着马马：thats why? 英父：I will ask some questions，listen马：OK英父Do you know who is张国荣, who is张曼玉 ,马：I dont know.英父：do you know who is 科比布莱恩特, who is姚明, 马：I dont know.英父：Do you know 黄岩岛 and 钓鱼岛 belong to China马：I dont know.英父：Do you see yourself? you look like a pig who know nothing? （转向英母）You ask me to Take yingtai to marry him how I can trust him ?英母：I have no words.马：but aunt have accepted my 3 million dollars and gifts.父：money ？You think money can buy everything?True love is priceless！Only 3 million dollar. only 3 million dollar. only 3 million dollar. （逐渐反应过味来）OK OK You give me 3 million dollar and yingtai belongs to you 。把女儿拉过来，推给马文才 （注意背景音乐 陶喆 今天你要嫁给我 ）马：Oh,娘子第四场景： 祝英台越洋提分手 梁山伯闻此怒结怨电话铃声响梁: Oh, honey, I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?祝: Listen, Liang Shanbo. Im calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think youd better find a better girl.梁: What? Pardon?祝: Because Ill get married. My parents had taken me to marry Ma Wencai He is so handsome, just like 刘德华. So rich, even richer than比尔盖茨. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.此时 马文才注意表演梁: What are you talking about? You wait and see. Ill give you some color see see.祝：shanbo, If life deceives(欺骗) you, dont be sad, dont be impatient! believe me. everything will pass,and all these things will become a kind of memory.梁：FUCK you, the sun of beach(脏话). Ill kill you! I will kill you in America!祝: America? Shit (脏话), You can come to America? Hahahaha大笑 your English is so terrible第五场景： 梁山伯家中练口语 怒气生欲赴美行刺梁：I have a dream. even though I face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart. 我有一个梦想 背景音乐 算你狠 喝闷酒 讲台词 第六场景：马文才一副空皮囊 梁山伯抱得美人归（梁山伯飞往美国）旁：a year later,liangshanbo found zhuyingtai in America梁: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, do you still know that who I am. Im here to kill you.祝: Liang.shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.祝英台拉着马文才马: You! Get out of here.梁: You! Get out of here! 背景音乐 儿歌 找朋友 梁马二人表演 有待商量马：流氓会武术，谁也挡不住梁：流氓没文化马：我可是有大学本科学历的流氓梁：这年头没有博士文凭也敢出来耍流氓 （梁扔掉扇子，拿出枪）马：Oh,哥们儿， wait please,(接电话) Hello ,I am Wencai , OK ,OK , I will get there now 祝: Please dont go. Just stay, please. Hell kill me.马: I know! But if I stay, hell kill me by the way.祝: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典马: Sorry, Im not good at 葵花宝典. Im just good at 新华字典梁：想走.It is not so easy （开枪）马文才搞笑吐血，祝英台的母亲出来扶英母：Oh, no , you can not die ,你不能死，彩礼钱还没给够呢祝: Oh, you are a big liar. Just get out of here! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh, darling, will you kill me? 动作声音妩媚些 妩媚些眨眼睛梁: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.祝: When we were young, you said you will love me forever. Dont kill me, ok? BOBO.梁: No way! Wherever you go, whatever you say, Ill kill you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I cant love you, the only choice is to kill you.祝: Please believe in me, you know I love you. I love you just like老鼠爱大米. I want to marry you.梁: Really?祝: Oh, of course.梁：曾经 Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didnt cherish it. If I was to meet her again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love her, I would say ten thousand years.如果，非要在这份爱上加一个期限，我希望是一万年！祝：Oh, honey 此时两人相拥 配合音乐 道具雨伞上 第七个场景：罗密欧与朱丽叶走在美国的街道上，看到正在深情告白的梁山伯与祝英台。Julia：oh，so sweet.honey.Romeo:The woman is really the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.Wow.Julia：What?What did you say?What about me?Romeo:Oh,Julia,At first sight dont need a reason.I found out I had a crush on her.Julia：No,no,no .You are kiding!