你不应该对别人说的七句话(英汉)

7ThingsYouShouldNeverSaytoSomeoneYou'vejustsaidsomethingwrong.Theotherpersonislookingatyouwitharedangryface,buttheissueisnotaboutwhatyou'vesaid,it'saboutwhatthey'veheard.当你说错话的时候。对方正怒火中烧地看着你，这类问题的关键往往不在你说了什么，而是别人听了什么。Therearesomesentencesthatactlikedeadlysilentninjas,killingself-confidenceandantagonizingyourfriends,familyandcolleagues—theworstthingisthatyoumightnotevenrealizeit.有些话就像致命的忍者，会抹杀别人的自信，伤害你的朋友、家人和同事最糟糕的是可能你根本都没有意识到。Hereare7thingsyoushouldneversaytosomeone:以下的句话可千万不要对别人说：“Idon'tcare”“我不在乎”Whattheyhear:“Leavemealone.Ihavebetterthingstodothanlistentoyou.”别人听到的却是：“别管我。我还有比听你唠叨更重要的事要做。”Explainwhyyouwouldlovetohearaboutthatsubject,andwhy“rightnow”isnotthebesttimeforyou.Everybodymatters.Notcaringaboutsomeoneisdenyingtheirexistence:Ifpeoplematterforyou,youwillmatterforthem.解释一下其实你对这些很感兴趣，只是“此刻”对你来说不合时宜。每个人都很重要。如果不在乎别人就是在否定别人的存在：如果别人在乎你，那你也要在乎别人。“You’rewrong”“你错了”Whattheyhear:“Youarestupid.Youknownothing.You'reworthless.”别人听到的却是：“你好愚蠢。根本就不懂。一点作用也没有。”Prefermoretactfulsentences.“Iwouldhavethoughtthat…”，“Myunderstandingisthat…”有比这更合适的话。“我认为...”，“我的理解是...”Askquestionstomakesureyouandtheotherpersonareworkingonthesameassumptions.询问他人的意见，确保你们商讨的同一个假设。“Youcan'tdoit”“你做不到”Whattheyhear:“Youdon'thavewhatittakestodoit,nomatterhowhardyoutry;Sowhydoyoueventry?’别人听到却是：“不管你付出多大的努力，都没有能力做这件事情；那还何必尝试呢？”Whywouldyousetsomeoneupforfailure?Iunderstandthatyoudontwantyourfriendtohavedelusions,andyoucouldfeelthatitisyourdutytostopthatpersonbeforetheyhurtthemselves,butIwouldliketoaskyou:howcanyoujudgewhatisgoodforsomebody?Andwhatiffailurewasthebestpathforgrowth?你凭着什么去断定别人的失败？我理解你只是不希望朋友抱着幻想你觉得自己有义务在对方受伤前阻止他们，但我就要问你了：你是怎样判断哪些对他们有益呢？失败又何尝不是成长的最佳方式？Encouragepeoplewhohavechosenachallengingpath.鼓励那些选择挑战的人吧。Goodjudgementcomeswithexperience,butexperiencecomesfrombadjudgement;-WillRogers好的判断来自经验，而经验来自坏的判断；威尔罗杰斯“Thisshouldbeeasy”“这很简单”Whattheyhear:"It’seasyformostpeople.Ifyouhavetroubledoingit,thereisprobablysomethingwrongaboutyou”别人听到的却是：“别人都觉得简单。如果你觉得难，那就是你的问题了”Thelevelofdifficultyisperceiveddifferentlybyeveryone,andeveryonehastheirownEverest.Ifyou'retellingsomebodythattheirjobiseasy,thenyou'reunderminingtheircontributiontosocietyandyou'retellingthemtheydon’tdeservethesalarytheyhave.每个人的短处各异，却都有自己的强项。如果你断言他人的工作如何简单，那么你在无形中就低估了别人对社会的贡献，也就表示你觉得别人不值其拥有的功劳。Ifsomeoneisstrugglingandcomingforhelp,thentheyhavetrustyouenoughtoshowyoutheirweakness.Don'trubtheirfaceinitbysaying“Thisshouldbeeasy”.如果有人陷入困难向你求助那是因为他们足够信任你才会在你面前展现脆弱的一面。不要在别人猝不及防的时候说一句“这很简单”。Acknowledgethechallengesthatpeopleencounterandvaluetheircommitmenttoovercomethem.要承认别人遇到的挑战，重视他人克服挑战的承诺。“Itoldyouso”“我早就告诉过你”Whattheyhear:“Youdidnotlistentome.That'sallyourfault.I'msomuchbetterthanyou.”别人听到的却是：“谁让你不听我的。这都怪你。我可比你有先见之明。”Thisoneisacommonno-no.这是一个常见的禁忌。It'suselesstoshootadeadhorse,especiallywhenotherpersonneedsyourhelpmorethanever.Don'tkeeptabsonwho'srightandwho'swrong.Ifitwereacompetition,theonekeepingtabswouldbetheonelosing.射击一匹死马有何用，尤其是当别人比以往都需要你帮助的时候。不要执迷于谁对谁错。如果这是场比赛，在乎对错的人注定会输。Helptheotherperson,anddontaddinsulttoinjury.帮助别人，就不要再雪上加霜了。“AsIjustsaidbefore…”“我之前就说过…”Whattheyhear:“Youdon'tlistentome.You'remakingmerepeatmyself.You'resoannoyinganddumb”别人听到的是。“你不听我的。老让我重复。真是烦人。”Thisisaverysneakyconversationkiller.Ifsomeoneasksyouaquestionandyoupointoutthatyou'vealreadyansweredit,thenyou'rekillingtheirwillingnesstolearn,oreventohaveaslightinterestinwhatyousay.这绝对是对话杀手。如果有人问你问题，然后你却说早就回答过了，那么你就是在扼杀别人学习的意愿，甚至是消除对你话语的最后一丝兴趣。Saythesamethinginanotherwayandbyillustratingitdifferently.换种方式表达相同的事情，这样才会有不同的效果。Tellthemwhatyou'regoingtotellthem.Then,tellthem.Finally,tellthemwhatyou'vetoldthem.-Aristotle告诉他们你要告诉他们。然后，告诉他们。最后，告诉他们你已经告诉他们了。亚里士多德“Goodluck”“祝你好运”Whattheyhear:“There'snothingyoucandothatwillmakeyousucceed.Onlyluckwill.let'shopeforaonce-in-a-milleniumplanet-alignment-likeopportunitysothatyoucansucceed.”别人听到的却是：“对于成功你已经无能为力。只能全靠运气了。让我们期待一个大海捞针般的机会，这样你就能成功了。”Also,itisbadlucktowishgoodluck.Itismorecommonforcomedianstosay“Breakaleg”，or“Merde!”-theFrenchequivalentof“Shit!”.Theexpressioncomesfromthefactthat,duringoldertimes,successfulplayswouldattractalotofcarriagetrafficandthereforeasignificantamountofhorsedejection.Maybethisiswhypeoplewouldslipand“breakaleg”.同样，只有在厄运交加时才会期待好运。更常见的是喜剧演员会说“断一条腿”，“呸！”相当于法语中的“去屎！”这种表达源自这样一个事