读后续写微技能之动作描写Chain+and+Scen：课件【知识精研】 高三英语二轮复习+

MircroWritingSkillsofContinuousWritingPart1：Action(ActionChian/ActionScene)WhenMaryenteredtheSouthPolePenguinResearchLab,shesawherfriendTomgentlystroking(轻抚)apenguininhisarms.Aschildrenofthelabscientists,MaryandTomoftenobservedtheemperorpenguinsthatwerestudiedtounderstandhowtheyadaptedtoextremetemperatures—insightsthatcouldaidhumansurvival.“We’rethirteen,Tom.It’stimetogrowupandstopplayingwiththelabpenguins,”saidMaryasshestartedcleaning.“They'reresearchanimals,notpets.”“Butthebirdslistentome!”insistedTom,hisbreathformingacloudinthefreezingair.“You’rejusttryingtobeapenguinwhispereragain,”Maryreplied,shakingherheadwithagentlesmile.Thepenguinsseemedplayfulastheywalked,dove,swamandchasedtheirlivefishforsportbeforeeating.Suddenly,analarmrangoutandredlightsflashed,signalingaproblem.Thekidsrushedovertolookintoit.“It'scolderthanbefore—there'siceformingonthewater,”notedTom.Thoughalwayscold,Maryhadneverseeniceherebefore.Shecheckedthehabitatmonitorandfoundthatthetemperaturehadgonedownalot.“Theheatermustbebroken!”Maryquicklysentamessagetotheirparents'researchteam,whowereconductingoutdoorstudies.Withtheadultsaway,thekidswouldhavetodealwiththefreezingconditionsuntilhelparrived.TimedraggedasMaryandTomanxiouslywaited.Theincreasingcoldcausedthemtoshake.“Iwonderwhatemperorpenguinsdoinextremecold,sincetheystayinthePoleallwinterinsteadofgoingsomewherewarmer,”askedMary.“Theyhuddle(挤作一团),”Tomanswered.“Theyhuddletogethertightlysothatthebirdsinthemiddlewillbewarmenough.”“Whatabouttheonesontheedge?”Maryasked.“Theypushtheirwaytowardsthecenter,andthenmovebackouttotheedge,andstrugglebackagain.Scientistsintheearly21stcenturyrecordedit.”Herepliedashestaredatthelargecrowdofthepenguinsinthelab.“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.梳理全文（who/what/how)人物：科学家后代事情：观察帝王企鹅研究企鹅如何适应严寒，以帮助人类生存Tom与企鹅关系好问题：温度降低预示：研究用于生存实践Mary向父母发求救信息问题：在救援来前生存帝王企鹅如何抗寒情节设计(文末+两个给定句,逆推）idea是什么→跟随企鹅抗寒2024广东一模WhenMaryenteredtheSouthPolePenguinResearchLab,shesawherfriendTomgentlystroking(轻抚)apenguininhisarms.Aschildrenofthelabscientists,MaryandTomoftenobservedtheemperorpenguinsthatwerestudiedtounderstandhowtheyadaptedtoextremetemperatures—insightsthatcouldaidhumansurvival.“We’rethirteen,Tom.It’stimetogrowupandstopplayingwiththelabpenguins,”saidMaryasshestartedcleaning.“They'reresearchanimals,notpets.”“Butthebirdslistentome!”insistedTom,hisbreathformingacloudinthefreezingair.“You’rejusttryingtobeapenguinwhispereragain,”Maryreplied,shakingherheadwithagentlesmile.Thepenguinsseemedplayfulastheywalked,dove,swamandchasedtheirlivefishforsportbeforeeating.Suddenly,analarmrangoutandredlightsflashed,signalingaproblem.Thekidsrushedovertolookintoit.“It'scolderthanbefore—there'siceformingonthewater,”notedTom.Thoughalwayscold,Maryhadneverseeniceherebefore.Shecheckedthehabitatmonitorandfoundthatthetemperaturehadgonedownalot.“Theheatermustbebroken!”Maryquicklysentamessagetotheirparents'researchteam,whowereconductingoutdoorstudies.Withtheadultsaway,thekidswouldhavetodealwiththefreezingconditionsuntilhelparrived.TimedraggedasMaryandTomanxiouslywaited.Theincreasingcoldcausedthemtoshake.“Iwonderwhatemperorpenguinsdoinextremecold,sincetheystayinthePoleallwinterinsteadofgoingsomewherewarmer,”askedMary.“Theyhuddle(挤作一团),”Tomanswered.“Theyhuddletogethertightlysothatthebirdsinthemiddlewillbewarmenough.”“Whatabouttheonesontheedge?”Maryasked.“Theypushtheirwaytowardsthecenter,andthenmovebackouttotheedge,andstrugglebackagain.Scientistsintheearly21stcenturyrecordedit.”Herepliedashestaredatthelargecrowdofthepenguinsinthelab.“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.梳理全文（who/what/how)人物：科学家后代事情：观察帝王企鹅研究企鹅如何适应严寒，以帮助人类生存Tom与企鹅关系好问题：温度降低预示：研究用于生存实践Mary向父母发求救信息问题：在救援来前生存帝王企鹅如何抗寒parents’action＋孩子回应（解释)＋结局情节设计(文末+两个给定句,逆推）2024广东一模情节设计（两段十句、十句五定）“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.①②③④⑤先大概，再扩写Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.⑥⑦⑧⑨⑩idea:Tom建议加入企鹅群Tom和Mary从edge挤回中心，再退回，再挤进，如此反复父母：冲进去、找孩子、大喊M担心企鹅不同意，但是被T的自信微笑说服T靠近企鹅群，蹲下，轻抚和whisper（原文）企鹅认出T,接收俩加入父母：发现孩子被企鹅围绕孩子：解释学习帝王企鹅做法孩子/父母：称赞Tom,realpenguinwhispererT(&M)感慨：向动物学习，是企鹅的团队协作方法救了他们“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Hesuggestedjoiningthepenguinhuddles.MaryhesitatedbutsoonagreedbecauseshesawTomcameclosetothecrowdedpenguins,whisperingsoftly.ThepenguinsrecognizedTomandlethimintotheirgroup.Maryquicklyfollowed.Thechildrenfinallyjoinedthepenguins.Theymovedtowardthemiddleandbackoutasthegroupshifted.Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.Theyweresurprised.Thechildrenweresafe.Whenaskedhowtheystayedwarm,theytoldtheirparents“Wecopiedwhattheemperorpenguinsdo,”.Maryadmitted

Tomasapenguinwhisperer.Tomgavecreditto（给予认可）thepenguinswhotaughtthemalot.Theirteamworkhadseenthemthroughthedifficultcoldwiththepenguins'aid.advantages：情节正确，全文内容连贯。disadvantages：故事的细节描写不够饱满，文章可读性不强。解决事情的故事：动作尤为重要“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Hesuggestedjoiningthepenguinhuddles.Spreadinghisarms,hesuggestedjoiningthepenguinhuddlesMaryhesitatedbutsoonagreedbecauseshesawTomcameclosetothecrowdedpenguins,whisperingsoftly.Worried

thatthepenguinswouldn'tletthem,Maryhesitated

butwassoonpersuadedbyTom'sassuringgrin.ThepenguinsrecognizedTomandlethimintotheirgroup.Heslowlyapproachedthecrowdedpenguins,crouchingdown.Gentlystrokingthemwithcare,hewhisperedsoftly.Thoughstartledatfirst,thepenguinsrecognizedTomandlethimintotheirgroup.解决事情的故事：动作尤为重要他张开双臂，提议加入企鹅群(现在分词作状语)玛丽担心企鹅不会让他们进去，犹豫了一下，但很快就被汤姆安慰的咧嘴笑说服了。(过去分词作状语，并列句)他慢慢地靠近拥挤的企鹅群，蹲下身子。(现在分词作状语)他轻轻地抚摸(v.安抚)它们，轻声细语。(现在分词作状语)企鹅们虽然一开始很吃惊，但还是认出了汤姆，让他加入了他们的群体。Maryquicklyfollowed.Thechildrenfinallyjoinedthepenguins.Thechildrensqueezedintothehuddle'sedgewiththepenguins.Theymovedtowardthemiddleandbackoutasthegroupshifted.Justasthebirdsdid,theymovedtoward

themiddleandbackoutasthegroupshifted.解决事情的故事：动作尤为重要孩子们挤进企鹅群的边缘。就像企鹅一样，它们会向中间移动，并随着群体的移动而后退。“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Spreadinghisarms,hesuggestedjoiningthepenguinhuddles（n.挤成一团）.Worriedthatthepenguinswouldn'tletthem,Maryhesitated

butwassoonpersuadedbyTom'sassuring（肯定的）grin（n.咧嘴笑）.Heslowlyapproachedthecrowdedpenguins,crouchingdown（蹲下，弯下身子）.Gentlystroking（v.安抚）themwithcare,hewhisperedsoftly.Thoughstartled（被吓一跳的adj.）atfirst,thepenguinsrecognizedTomandlethimintotheirgroup.Maryquicklyfollowed.Thechildrensqueezedintothehuddle'sedgewiththepenguins.Justasthebirdsdid,theymovedtowardthemiddleandbackoutasthegroupshifted.Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.

Theyweresurprised.

Rushingincallingforthekids,theyweresurprised.Thechildrenweresafe.

Thechildrenweresafelysurroundedbypenguinsinalargebundle.Whenaskedhowtheystayedwarm,theytoldtheirparents“Wecopiedwhattheemperorpenguinsdo,”.

Whenaskedhowtheystayedwarm,thekidslookedateachotherproudly.“Wecopiedwhattheemperorpenguinsdo,”theytoldtheirparents.Maryadmitted

Tomasapenguinwhisperer.MarypattedTom'sshoulderwithadmiration,callinghimapenguinwhisperer.

Tomgavecreditto（给予认可）thepenguinswhotaughtthemalot.Theirteamworkhadseenthemthroughthedifficultcoldwiththepenguins'aid.解决事情的故事：动作尤为重要冲进去叫孩子们时，他们很惊讶。（现在分词作状语）孩子们很安全地被企鹅团团围住。当被问及如何保持温暖时，孩子们自豪地面面相觑。（过去分词作状语）“我们模仿了帝企鹅的行为，”他们告诉父母玛丽赞赏地拍了拍汤姆的肩膀，称他为企鹅语者。（现在分词作状语）带着大大的微笑Withabigsmile,“Ihaveanideatostaywarm!”Tomshoutedexcitedly.Spreadinghisarms,hesuggestedjoiningthepenguinhuddles（n.挤成一团）.Worriedthatthepenguinswouldn'tletthem,Maryhesitated

but

wassoonpersuadedbyTom'sassuring（肯定的）grin（n.咧嘴笑）.Heslowlyapproachedthecrowdedpenguins,crouchingdown（蹲下，弯下身子）.Gentlystroking（v.安抚）themwithcare,hewhisperedsoftly.Thoughstartled（被吓一跳的adj.）atfirst,thepenguinsrecognizedTomandlethimintotheirgroup.Maryquicklyfollowed.Thechildrensqueezedintothehuddle'sedgewiththepenguins.Justasthebirdsdid,theymovedtowardthemiddleandbackoutasthegroupshifted.Twoandahalfhourslater,theparentsreturnedwithhelp.Rushingincallingforthekids,theyweresurprised.Thechildrenweresafelysurroundedbypenguinsinalargebundle（一捆,一束）.Whenaskedhowtheystayedwarm,thekidslookedateachotherproudly.“Wecopiedwhattheemperorpenguinsdo,”theytoldtheirparents.MarypattedTom'sshoulderwithadmiration,callinghimapenguinwhisperer（企鹅语者）.Withabigsmile,Tomgavecreditto（给予认可）thepenguinswhotaughtthemalot.Theirteamworkhadseenthemthroughthedifficultcoldwiththepenguins'aid.动作描写思路方法一：构造“动作链”（ActionChain)E.g①得知妈妈不给她参加绘画比赛，她很生气。怒吼→抓起绘画作品→撕成两半记叙文就像拍电影，所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。“动作链”结构1：A，BandC低配版：Shewasveryangry.中配版：Shewasveryangryandranaway.高配版：“Ihateyou,”she

roared,grabbedthepaintingonthetable,andtoreitinhalf.E.g②发表获奖感言，感谢吞吞。看了一眼奖杯→深吸一口气→说道：“谢谢吞吞！”She

glancedatthetrophy,tookadeepbreathandsaid,“ThankTUNTUN!”动作描写思路方法一：构造“动作链”（ActionChain)E.g③听了Mac的经历后，他们惊呆了。听到经历后→他们僵住了记叙文就像拍电影，所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。“动作链”结构2：Havingdone/Afterdoing,主句低配版：theywereshocked.中配版：AfterhearingMac’sexperience,they

froze.【“动作链”使用范例】(1)当我从高处俯瞰那只熊时，我惊讶地发现这个固执的家伙压碎了栅栏，朝我们的营地走去，准备享用诱人的蒜蓉面包。Whileoverlookingthebearfromabove,I

wasamazedtospotthisstubbornguyhadcrushedthefenceand

headedtowardsourcampfortheinvitinggarlicbread.【“动作链”使用范例】(2)他一跃而起，飞快地跑了起来。(3)他把手伸进口袋，掏出一些零钱。(4)她一动不动地站着，听着它的歌声，直到它唱完，飞走了。He

jumpedtohisfeetandranasfastashislegscouldcarryhim.He

slidhishandsintohispocketsandpulled

outsomechange.She

stoodverystill,listeningtoitssonguntilitfinished

andflewaway.动作描写思路方法一：构造“动作链”（ActionChain)E.g③听了Mac的经历后，他们惊呆了。听到经历后→他们僵住了记叙文就像拍电影，所有的场景都是一帧帧画面连续动作/并列动作串联的结果。“动作链”结构2：Havingdone/Afterdoing,主句低配版：theywereshocked.中配版：AfterhearingMac’sexperience,they

froze.嘴巴张开，手在颤抖高配版：听到经历后→他们僵住了→AfterhearingMac’sexperience,they

froze,theirmouthhangingopenandtheirhandstrembling[独立主格结构].方法二：构造“动作面”（ActionScene)动作描写思路方法二：构造“动作面”（ActionScene)E.g④黄昏下站着一对恋人。在同一个场景，安排多个角度观看，然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情，肢体动作，语言角度，心理活动等编制。构造动作面时，非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。“动作面”结构1：Doing,主句,doing多个角度进行描写：他们站在空旷的路边(肢体动作),他们仰望着天空(面部表情),感受着这份珍贵的平静(心理活动)。Standingbesidetheemptyroad,they

lookedupintothesky,feelingthepreciouspeacefromwithin.动作描写思路方法二：构造“动作面”（ActionScene)E.g④一段雨中跳舞的场景。在同一个场景，安排多个角度观看，然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情，肢体动作，语言角度，心理活动等编制。构造动作面时，非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。“动作面”结构2：主句,doing...anddoing...多个角度进行描写：他欣喜若狂(心理活动),在雨中又唱又跳(肢体动作)。He

wasoverwhelmedwithjoy,singinganddancingintherain.动作描写思路方法二：构造“动作面”（ActionScene)E.g④Lucy举手回答问题。在同一个场景，安排多个角度观看，然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情，肢体动作，语言角度，心理活动等编制。构造动作面时，非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。“动作面”结构3：Done,主句,doing...多个角度进行描写：被老师的话所鼓舞(心理活动),Lucy举起了手(肢体动作)，小声说：“我来。”(语言角度)。Encouragedbytheteacher’swords,Lucy

raisedherhand,whispering,“I’lldoit.”动作描写思路方法二：构造“动作面”（ActionScene)E.g⑤贝贝思考自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫。在同一个场景，安排多个角度观看，然后把不同的镜头平凑在一起，构成一个饱满的动作面。动作面可以从面部表情，肢体动作，语言角度，心理活动等编制。构造动作面时，非谓语动词是最常使用的语法结构。“动作面”结构4：(With)...doing/done,主句,doing...多个角度进行描写：贝贝坐在泳池边(肢体动作),双臂低垂(肢体动作),思考自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫(心理活动)。(With)hisarmsdrooping,BeiBei

satbesidethepool,wonderingwhetherhewaswhiteorblack.with复合结构/独立主格结构【“动作面”使用范例】(1)他不停地奔跑，直到他看见远处有一道闪光，迅速地向他靠近。(2)爷爷拍拍我的头，笑着对我说，他会一直陪着我。(3)听到这消息后，他们静静地坐着，陷入深思。(《小王子》)(4)玛丽深吸了一口气，推开门走了进去。(《秘密花园》)He

didn’tstop

runninguntilhesawaflashoflightatadistance,movingquicklytowardshim.Mygrandfather

pattedmyheadandsmiledatme,sayingthathewouldalwaysbewithme.Afterhearingthenews,they

satinaquiet,reflectivesilence.Takingadeepbreath,Mary

pushedopenthedoorandsteppedinside.2024深圳一模梳理全文（who/what/how)人物：Ashley&I事情：A对校报读者人数下降感到不满她认为我校打败D学校篮球队的新闻不够噱头，想用更能吸引人的故事做头版去吸引读者。学校的吉祥物鹦鹉Perry不见了，大家感到非常伤心一个学生拍了一张疑似D学校一篮球员偷了Perry的照片A决定根据这张照片制作新闻，头版就是“D学校偷了Perry”我细看照片发现时间漏洞，认为我们可能错怪D学校。我找到Perry的照料者得知P只是退休，因此建议A把新闻头版改成“再见P”情节设计（两段十句、十句五定）P1:Tomysurprise,Ashleyinsistedonreportingthe"DeerfieldStolePerry"story."

①②③④⑤先大概，再扩写P2:OnThursday,thepapercameoutwiththeheadline"Bye-Bye,Perry"onthefrontpage.⑥⑦⑧⑨⑩A辩解”D校偷P”的新闻更有吸引力A被说服了，同意收集更多信息报道新闻“再见了P”这篇文章成功地引起激烈讨论我不赞同她的行为我阐述了不赞成的原因（说谎，对校报影响不好)A还是犹豫，我强调真实的新闻才是好故事读者写信表扬，更多学生怀念起Perry的美好甚至之前拍照怀疑Perry被偷的同学也表扬了我们的专业报道A找到我，感谢我A明白到新闻报道的真实性才是最重要的。TruthHonestyIntegrity【小试牛刀】

我不赞成Ashley的做法。①听了艾希礼的话，我不同意她的指指点点，使劲摇着头。HavingheardAshley’swords,I

disagreedwithherpoints,shakingmyheadvigorously.②听着Ashley的话，我皱起眉头然后打断说：“这是不对的。”HearingAshley’sexcuses,I

frowned

andtheninterrupted“That’snotright”.

Ashley找到我，感谢我。①她高兴地找到我，笑着说道：“你是对的。真实的故事才能引起共鸣,这才能真正地吸引读者”Shecametome

withjoy,smiled

andsaid“You’reright.Onlytruestoriescanstrikeachord,whichvirtuallyengagesreaders