个人成长类读后续写：刷手机一时爽挂科后的人间清醒-大学生沉迷短视频的翻车实录

天一大联考2024-2025学年高三考前模拟考试

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段.使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Inasmalltown,therelivedagirlnamedJessica,whohadalwaysbeenastar

student,toppingeveryclassbeforecollege.Confidentthatheracademicsuccesswould

continuesmoothlyincollege,Jessicatradedstudyhoursforendlessscrolling（滚屏）on

socialmedia,ignoringherparents'reminderstofbcusonherstudiesandlessons.

ThiscarefreeattitudecontinuedformonthsuntilthedayofJessica'sfinalexams.

Whileherfriendswereconsumedbyanxiety,Jessicaremaineduntroubled,convinced

that,justlikebefore,shewouldmanagetogetthrough,relyingonherpastexperiences

andnaturalintelligence.However,whenherfriendsgatheredtodiscussamathproblem

withher,Jessicagavethewronganswer.Hearingheranswer,oneofherfriends

showedanobviouslyconcernedlook.Jessica,attemptingtomaintainhercalmness,

assuredherfriends"Don'tworry.I'llbefine,juslikeIalwayswas!”Butinside,asmall

seedofdoubtbegantogrow.Shequicklyburiedit,comfortingherselfeverything

wouldfallintoplace.

Astheexamsbegan,Jessica'ssenseofeasequicklydisappeared.Witheach

question,shefoundherselfincreasinglyuncertain,realizingjusthowlittlepreparation

she4dmade.Despitethis,shewrotedownwhatevershecouldrecallfromprevious

years,tellingherselfitwouldbeenoughforhertopasstheexams.

However,whentheresultscameout,Jessicawasshockedtofindshefailedallthe

exams.Thedisappointmentinherparents'eyeswasmorethanshecouldbcar.lt

dawnedonherthatheroverconfidenceandlackofpreparationhadledtotheresult.Her

friendswerecelebratingtheirsuccesswhileJessicahadtofacetheconsequencesofher

actions.

Returningtocollegeafterreceivingherresults,Jessicacouldn'tescapethefeeling

ofembarrassment.Shecouldsenseherclassmatcs,curiouseyesonher,andshealso

hadtobearoccasionaltauntsfromsomeofherclassmates.Asherfriendseagerly

discussedtheirfutureplans,Jessicawasburdenedwithregret.

注意:1.续写词数应为150左右；

2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph1:Atthatmoment,Jessicarealizedshemustmakesomechange.

Paragraph2:Whentheresultsofthenextroundofexamswereannounced,Jessicawas

nervousbuthopeful.

天一大联考2024-2025学年高三考前模拟考试

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的板文。

Inasmalltown,therelivedagirlnamed分切♦后仄定〜Jessica,whohadalways

beenastarstudent,tODDingever。clansbeforecollege叱分询4件改动作ConfidenMdj假土芬扑

沏thatheracademicsuccesswouldcontinuesmoothlyincollege,Jessicatraded

studyhoursforendlessscrolling（滚屏ionsocialmedia,igncriiiRm分用做体K动体।her

parents'reminderstofocusonherstudiesandlessons.

ThiscarefreeattitudecontinuedformonthsuntilthedayofJessica'sfinal

exams.Whilehevfriendswereconsumedbyanxiety.Jessicaremaineduntroubled,

convincedM做主语扑沙that,justlikebefore,shewouldmanagetogetthrough,rel、inn

onherpastexperiencesandnaturalintelligencBiu分音做停用动作或站昊秋语）.However,when

herfriendsgalheredlodiscussamalhproblemwilhher,Jessicagavethewrong

answer.Hearingheranswer,现注分词做仲陵动作、oneofherfriendsshowedanobviously

concernedlook.Jessica,attemptingtomaintainhetcalmnesses分两做停K孙,assured

herfriends"Don'tworry.Tilbefine,juslikeIalwayswas!”Butinside,asmallseed

ofdoubtbegantogrowi灵主语加.Shequicklyburiedil人物心质如耳，,comforting现在分樽世件《动作）

herselfeverythingwouldfallintoplace.

Astheexamsbegan,Jessica'ssenseofeasequicklydisappeared。豆更化）.Witheach

question,shefoundherselfincreasinglyuncertain,realizing，巩0,分灯做件M纺作）iusthowlittle

preparationshe'dmade.Despitethis,shewrotedownwhatevershecouldrecall

fronipreviousyears,tellin名现在分河皱件就动的herselfitwouldbeenoughforhertopass

theexams.

However,whentheresultscameout,Jessicawasshockedtofindshefailedall

theexams.Thedisappointmentinherparents'eyeswasmorethanshecould

bear.ltdawnedonherthatheroverconfidenceandlackofpreparationhadledtothe

result.HerfriendswerecelebratingtheirsuccesswhileJessicahadlofaceIhe

consequencesofheractions.

Returninrtocolleseafterreceivingherresults理&分词做件分动作％Jessicacouldn't

escapethefeelingofembarrassment.Shecouldsenseherclassmates9curiouseyes

onher,andshealsohadtobearoccasionaltauntsfromsomeofherclassmates.As

herfriendseagerlydiscussedtheirfutureplans,Jessicawasburdenedwithregret.

注意：1.续写词数应为15（）左右；

2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph1:Atthatmoment,Jessicarealizedshemustmakesomechange.

Paragraph2:Whentheresultsofthenextroundofexamswereannounced,Jessica

wasnervousbuthopeful.

1.文章分类及续写思路分析

文章类型：该读后续写属于“个人成长挫折类"，核心主题是“过度自信导致失败

后的自我救赎工

续写构思方向

要素分析

主题从失败中学习，通过努力重获信心。

情感基调前半段：自责、迷茫；后半段：决心、希望。

关键冲突Jessica的自我怀疑vs.重新努力的决心。

原文提到“seedofdoubt”（怀疑的种子），可延伸为自我反思的起

伏笔利用

点O

衔接点需承接“embarrassment”“regret”等情绪，过渡到行动改变。

续写框架设计

段落内容方向

第一段Jessica决定改变：制定学习计划、减少社交媒体、向朋友/家长求助。

第二段第二次考试结果公布时，虽紧张但已有进步，暗示未来可期。

注意事项

承接原文:需呼应“regret”“parents'disappointment'"'classmates'taunts”等细节。

情感递进：从“embarrassment”到“determination”再到“hopeful”。

动作描写：如“closingsocialmediaapps,H*takingnotes”等体现改变<>

主题升华：通过对比失败与努力后的结果，突出“努力比天赋更重要”。

2.故事山模式与原文分析

故事山结构

阶段原文内容

开端Jessica沉迷社交媒体，忽视学习（伏笔：父母提醒）。

发展考试前自信，但解题错误引发自我怀疑。

高潮考试全科失败，父母失望，同学嘲笑。

回落Jessica陷入后悔，需续写“自我救赎工

结局续写部分：通过努力重获成功（未完全实现，留希望）。

关键分析表

分析角度内容原文反应句

“Confidentthatheracademic

人物刻画Jessica骄傲—脆弱—>醒悟。

successwouldcontinuesmoothly...”

“asmallseedofdoubtbeganto

情感层次自信一怀疑一崩溃一后悔。

grow”

关键情节点解题错误一考试失败T结果“Jessicawasshockedtofindshe

分析角度内容原文反应句

公布。failedalltheexams.”

“Shuquicklyburiedit,comforting

语言特色心理描写为主，动作辅助。

herself...”

心理描写通过自我安慰体现矛盾。“tellingherselfitwouldbeenough”

''attemptingtomaintainher

动作描写掩饰情绪的动作。

calmness”

过度自信的危害与成长的必“heroverconfidenceandlackof

隐含主题

要性。preparationhadledtotheresulf'

父母提醒（伏笔）；同学嘲笑“ignoringherparents'reminders"/

伏笔/冲突

（冲突）。^occasionaltauntsfromclassmates”

续写需体现具体努力（如制定

解决方案无（需续写补充）

计划、寻求帮助）。

3.动作、心理、环境描写

动作描写（ActionDescription）

1.Sheclenchedherfists,nailsdiggingintoherpalms.

（她攥紧拳头，指甲深深掐进掌心。）

2.Herfingerstrembledasshescrolledthroughtheendlessfeed.

（她的手指在滑动无尽的信息流时颤抖着。）

3.Jessicaslammedthetextbookshut,frustrationboilinginsideher.

（Jessica猛地合上课本，内心的挫败感翻涌。）

4.Shescribblednotesfrantically,desperatetocatchup.

（她疯狂地潦草记着笔记，拚命想要赶上。）

5.Hershouldersslumpedindefeatasshestaredattheredmarks.

（她盯着红色的批改痕迹，肩膀无力地育拉下来。）

6.Jessicaburiedherfaceinherhands,mufflingasob.

（Jessica把脸埋进双手，压抑着啜泣。）

7.Shepacedbackandforth,hermindracingwithregret.

（她来回踱步，脑海中充斥着悔恨。）

8.Withadeepbreath,shefinallyclickedthe"uninstaH"button.

（深吸一口气后，她终于点击了“卸载”按钮。）

9.Herhandhoveredoverthekeyboard,hesitationgnawingather.

（她的手悬在键盘上方，犹钱不决。）

10.Sheforcedasmile,thoughhereyesbetrayedheranxiety.

（她勉强挤出一个微笑，但眼标却暴露？她的焦虑。）

心理描写（PsychologicalDescription）

1.Awaveofdreadwashedoverherassherealizedhermistake.

（当她意识到自己的错误时，一阵恐惧席卷而来。）

2.Doubtgnawedatherconfidencelikeapersistentinsect.

（怀疑像一只挥之不去的虫子，啃噬着她的自信。）

3.Hermindbuzzedwithachaoticmixofregretanddetermination.

（她的脑海里充斥着悔恨与决心的混乱交织。）

4.Shetriedtopushawaythesinkingfeelinginherchest,butitlingered.

（她试图驱散胸口的沉重感，但它挥之不去。）

5.Aflickerofhopesparkedwithinher,fragilebutundeniable.

（一丝希望在她心中闪现，脆弱但不可否认。）

6.Theweightoffailurepresseddownonher,suffocating.

（失败的重量压得她喘不过气。）

7.Shewrestledwithshame,eachthoughtasharpsting.

（她与羞耻感搏斗，每一个念头都像尖锐的刺痛。）

8.Ilerpridecrumbled,leavingbehindrawvulnerability.

（她的骄傲崩塌，暴露出赤裸的脆弱。）

9.Aquietresolvesettledinherheart,steadyandunyielding.

（一种坚定的决心在她心中沉淀，稳固,而不动摇。）

10.Shefeltastrangemixoffearandexcitement——changewascoming.

（她感受到一种奇怪的恐惧与兴奋交织——改变即将到来。）

环境描写（EnvironmentalDescription）

Theclassroombuzzedwithnervouschatterbeforetheexam.

（考试前，教室里充斥着紧张的交谈声。）

Thedimglowofherlaptopscreencastlongshadowsinthesilentroom.

（笔记本电脑屏幕的微光在寂静的房间里投下长长的阴影。）

Raintappedagainstthewindow,asteadyrhythmmirroringherrestlessthoughts.

（雨滴轻叩窗户，稳定的节奏与她不安曲虑绪相呼应。）

Thelibrarywaseerilyquiet,theonlysoundtheturningofpages.

（图书馆以静得诡异，唯一的声音是翻页的沙沙声。）

Sunlightstreamedthroughtheblinds,paintingstripesofgoldonherdesk.

（阳光透过百叶窗，在她的书桌上洒下金色的条纹。）

Theairintheroomgrewthickwithtensionastheprofessorhandedoutthetests.

（当教授分发试卷时，房间里的空气变得凝重。）

Outside,laughterechoedfromthecourtyard,astarkcontrasttohermood.

（外面，院子里回荡着笑声，与她的心福形成鲜明对比。）

Theclock'stickinggrewlouder,eachsecondareminderofwastedtime.

（时钟的滴答声越来越响，每一秒都在提醒她浪费的时间。）

Acoldbreezeslippedthroughtheopenwindow,sendingashiverdownherspine.

（一阵冷风从敞开的窗户溜进来，让她脊背发凉。）

Thefluorescentlightshummedoverhead,castingasterileglowonhernotes.

（头顶的荧光灯嗡嗡作响，在她的笔记上投下冷白的光。）

4.高级替换词&固定搭配

高级替换词（场景分类）

普通词高级替换词适用场景

happyelated（3王喜的）成功后的喜悦

saddevastated（崩溃的）重大失败后的情绪

endeavor（努力）正式或文学表达

changetransform（彻底改变）性格或生活方式的转变

thinkcontemplate（深思）深度心理描写

固定搭配&词法解析

"Aseedofdoubt**（怀疑的种子）

用法：比喻逐渐增长的疑虑。

例句：

Aseedofdoubtgrewinhermindafterthefailedexam.

Hiswordsplantedaseedofdoubtinherheart.

nFaIIintoplace"（水到渠成）

用法：形容事情自然解决。

例句：

Shehopedeverythingwouldfallintoplace,butitdidn't.

Afterweeksofchaos,hislifefinallyfellintoplace.

,'Burdenedwithregret"（被悔恨压垮）

用法：强调沉重的心理负担。

例句：

Jessicawasburdenedwithregretafterherfailure.

Hewalkedaway,burdenedwithregretforhischoices.

**Swallowone'spride”（放下自尊）

用法：形容忍辱或承认错误。

例句：

Sheswallowedherprideandaskedforhelp.

Sometimes,successmeansswallowingyourpride.

nAflickerofhopeH（一线希望）

用法：微弱但存在的希望。

例句：

Despitethefailure,aflickerofhoperemained.

Hiswordsignitedaflickerofhopeinherheart.

5.可积累的语料（生词短语）

1.Gnawat（v.）

•词义：啃噬；使烦恼

•近义词:erode,torment

•反义词:soothe,comfort

•例句：

•Doubtgnawedatherconfidence.

•Guiltgnawedathimdayandnight.

2.Hoverover(v.)

•词义：徘徊；犹豫不决

•近义词:linger,waver

•反义词:decide,commit

•例句：

•Herhandhoveredoverthedeletebutton.

•Darkcloudshoveredoverthecity.

3.Castshadows(v.)

•词义：投下阴影

•近义词：project,loom

•反义词：brighten,illuminate

•例句：

•Thetreescastlongshadowsalsunset.

•Hispastmistakescastshadowsonhisfuture.

4.Wrestlewith(v.)

•词义：与…斗争

•近义词：struggle,grapple

•反义词:accept,surrender

•例句：

•Shewrestledwithherconscience.

•Hewrestledwiththedifficultdecision.

5.Settlein(v.)

词义：沉淀；适应

近义词:establish,adjust

反义词：disrupt,unsettle

例句：

Aquietresolvesettledinherheart.

Thedustsettledafterthestorm.

PossibleVersions（4）

Version1

Paragraph1:Atthatmoment,Jessicarealizedshemustmakesomechange.

Realizing现〃分词.伴随动作।howfarshehadstrayedfromherformerself,Jessicasatin

thequietlibrary,aplaceshehadn'tvisitedinmonths.Herparents'disappoimed

facesandherfriends'iovfullaughterechoedinhermind,urginghertotake

action班在分词做体屹动作i.Shedustedoffheroldtextbooks,madeadetailedstudy

schedule,andevenjoinedastudygroup-somethingsheusedtofindunnecessary.

Eachday,shepushedherselftostayfocused,ignoring现石分词做件应动作，thetemptationto

checkherphone.Atfirst,itwastoughshehadtorelearneventhebasics曲接原丈＞—but

gradually,herconfideiicewasbuiltoneffort,notassumption.Sheevensought

helpfromclassmates,humblingherselfandlearningmereintheprocess，3分制做停跑动

作，.Themoreshestudied,themore＜.sherealizedhowmuchshehadtakenher

previoussuccessforgranted（反思＞.Thistime,sheknewthingswouldbe

different——notbecauseshebelievedit,butbecauseshehadearnedit谑地.期.

Paragraph2:theresultsoftheroundofexamswereannounced,

Jessicawasbuthoueful.Asshestoodbeforeiheresultsboard,herhands

trembledslightly.Memoriesofherlastfailurehaunted无灵士语句,却金心理，yetthe

effortshehadputinoverthepastweeksgaveherhope无为主珏=Whenshesawher

nameamong[hetopscorers,awaveofreliefandpridesweptvv'erhe□人物心理祐月.Her

eveswelledup-nvtiustfromhappiness,butfromtherealizationQitw&thatreal

successdemandedpersistencewithoutdistractions,perclassmatesclappedher

onthebackincongratulations,andeventhosewhohadmockedherbeforelooked

atherwithnewfoundrespect.Thatevening,asshecalledherparentstosharethe

news,theirproudvoiceswarmedherheart.Jessicasmiled,netbecauseshehad

returnedtobeingasia「sludenl.butbecauseshehadgrownwiserthroughfailure.

Fromthatdayon,shevowednevertorelyonluckagain,butonsteady,honest

work,wiselyusingthephoneforassistance.

□语言亮点分析（范文一）：

类别搭配/短语/句式同义/替换词示例语料

awaveofreliefandasurgeof.../aAwaveofshamerosein

情绪描写

pridesweptoverherburstof...herchest.

dustedoffherold

flippedopen!Shedustedoffthethick

动作描写textbooks/hands

fingersshooknotesandstartedanew.

trembled

takesomeihingfbr

assume/comfortTheteacher'spraise

地道搭配granted/warmone's

/achievewarmedherheart.

heart/earnsuccess

类别搭配/短语/句式同义/替换词示例语料

stayfocused一stay

Shegraduallyregainedher

升级短语lasei-focused/graduallyslowly,overtime

footinginstudy.

—>bitbybit

Notbecause...,butNotbecauseshegotlucky,

inversion,

高级结构because.../themore...,butbecausesheworked

parallelism

themore...hard.

Version2

Paragraph1:Afthatmoment,Jessicarealizedshemustmakesomechange.

Feelingthestin?ofreqreL现金分码短沿便件随另作,情华播写“Jessicaknewshecouldn'tafford

anotherfailure.Sheremovedsocialmediaappsfromherphone,setcleargoals,

andpromisedherselftostudyatleastfourhoursaday,动告*并列体现决心>.Heroldhabits

didn'tvanishovernight,andthereweredaysshefelttemptedtoreturntoher

comfortzone,butsheremindedherselfofwhatitcosther.Shebegantoseek

feedbackfromteachers,rewritepracticepapers,andrevisethoroughly，状件.并知.

Slowly,theshamethathadhauntedhertransformedintoquietdetermination.

Sheevenkeptajournaltotrackherprogress,writingdown现在分外做件*舫件bothhersmall

victoriesandherstruggles.Daybyday,Jessicastartedrebuildingher

confidence——cotbasedonassumptionbutonactualeffort逼过带甲.Itwasn'teasy,but

eachlimesheresisteddistraction,shefeltstrongerandmoreincontrol.

Paragraph2:theresultsofthenextroundofexamswere

Jessicawasbuthopeful.Sheapproachedthenoticeboardwithcautioussteps,

herheartpoundinglikeadrum,肤上立检创后人物心双“Whenshespottedhernameinihnlop

ten,hermouthfellouenindisbelief无及士语句，人物速.格耳"Hereyesshimmeredwithtears乩灵

立语句，刽&人物情绐（-notfromsurprise,butfromfulfillment嘘地格耳，.Thissuccess,unlikethe

past,hadbeenbuiltfromgroundzero.Herclassmates,whooncedoubtedher,

offeredsincerecongratulations.Thatnight,Jessicadidn'tpostabouther

achievementonline.Instead,shephonedherparentsandquietlythankedherselffor

notgivingup.Failurehadtaughtherthevalueofpreparation,andsuccesshad

remindedherthathardworkneverbetrays.Fromihenon,Jessicabecamenotonly

agoodstudentagain—butabetterversionofherself.

类别|表达替换词/同义表达例句

heartpoundinglikea

heartthumped/eyesHerheartwasracing

情绪描写drum/eyesshimmered

glistenedwithnervoushope.

withtears

removedapps/rewriteeliminatedSheapproachedthe

动作描写practicepapers/distractions/boardwithshaky

approachedcautiouslyreviewedsteps.

成语与句型haidwurkneverdedicationpaysoff/Sheknewhaidwork

类别1表达替换词/同义表达例句

betrays/quietlygaveherselfcreditwouldpayoff.

thankedherself

fromgroundzero—>

fromscratch/didn'tslowlychanged/Herfeardidn'tvanish

升级短语

vanishovernight一graduallyimprovedovernight.

tooktime

Inversion:Notfrom

Neverhadshefelt

高中加分语法surprise,butfromEmphaticstructures

suchsatisfaction.

fulfillment

Verison3

Paragraph1:thatmoment,Jessicarealizedshemustmakesomechange.

ThehumiliationoffailureleftadeepmarkonJessica'spride.Shefinally

admittedthattalentalonewasnotenough.Shebeganbyrevisitingherpaststudy

methods——flashcaids,liiuc-blockiug,notesuinunuizing名内并列，——allufwhichhadunct

workedsowell.Tokeepherselfaccountable,sheshutdownherphone,createda

timetableandstuckitonherwall.Sheevenpracticedmindfulnesstohandlestress

andtrainedherselftostaycalmduringdifficulttasks.Whendnubtcreptin,sheread

motivationalquotesandremindedherselfofhowfarshehadcome.Slepbyslep,

sherebuiltthehabitsshehadonceabandonedbecauseofherphoneAPPs.Jessica

nolongersawstudyingasaburdenbutasapathtoregainingherdignityandfuture.

Inherownquietway,shewaschanging—notloudly,butsteadily.

Paragraph2:therestihsofiheroundofexamswere(mounccd,

JessicawasbuthoDeful.Shehesitatedbeforelookingatthelist,afraidof

anotherheartbreaku«iiMix后卫定语>•Butwhenshesawherimprovedgrades,sheexhaled

deeply、asmileslowlyformingonherface出色j■卷划.人的秽方,Itwasn'taperfectscore,but

itwasprogressKato—asymbolofeffortrewarded.Jessica'sfriends,eventhe

classmatesmockinghenforhnrlastfailure,theyallwitnessedhereffortsandcheered

forher,andthistime,shefeltworthyoftheirpraise.Thatnight,Jessicalayinbed,

cryingandphoning，动件*herparentsthegoodnews,andreflectedonher

iournev-noticing<it在分潮>件此动的howfarshehadtraveledfromignoranceto

awareness.Whatmatteredmostwasn'tthegradesalone,butthegrowththey

represented.Shehadfailed,yes,butmoreimportanlly,shehadchosentorise一and

thatmadeallthedifference.

类别］亮点表达［替换词/同义表达示例句

exhaleddeeply/aSheletoutalong

sighedwithrelief/

情绪描写smileslo