读后续写--管健伟

1、读后续写,浙江省黄岩中学 管健伟,经典续写案例,红楼梦,曹雪芹,高 鹗,争论点：契合度高低,文学家：情节发展是否和原八十回一致 语言学家：用词用句是否和原八十回一致,融洽度,原叙事文本 续写高效度结尾,读,猜,两个要弄明白的问题：,原文有什么用？,续写要写什么？,原文,理解,续写文,模仿,素材,素材,情节基调,核心矛盾,故事框架,语言设定,潜伏信息,样题情节和语言特点分析,情节基调的铺设：“向心性” 核心矛盾的预设：“发散性” 故事框架的搭建：“顺延性” 隐含语言的定位：“一致性”,情节基调,“A funny thing happened to Arthur when he was on th

2、e way to work one day”。,funny:,“趣”,A funny thing,cause amusement, laughter, etc. (有趣的，可笑的),向心性,Money or Other things,核心矛盾,“情节核”,the young man or another man,Thief,Not thief,矛盾身份,矛盾中心,关键人物,发散性,故事发展,时间：on Arthurs way home 地点：along the Park Avenue near the First national Bank 背景：a long loud noise of an

3、 alarm from the bank,a young man,Arthur,Run after,Stop, stop!,?,To the PS,顺延性,故事框架,Paragraph 1: As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shouting behind, “Stop, stop!” _ Paragraph 2: The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur. _,顺延故事发展,创意故事结尾,顺延 逆转,语言定位,记叙类故事文,叙事文本,叙事人称,叙事时态,叙事方

4、式,第一、二、三人称,旁白/对白 口语/书面语,选词用词 句式选择,一致性,语言定位,记叙类故事文,叙事人称： 比如，he, she, it, A funny thing, the young man, Park Avenue, Arthur等,叙事时态： 用过去式或者与过去式相关的时态（直接引语除外） 比如 was on the way, walked, was surprised, started to run等,叙事方式： No trouble at all, what happened Go to the police station, Stop stop, Help help。,“第

5、三人”的身份讲述（第三人称作为主语）（直接引语除外）,转述过去某个时刻所发生的事,旁白+对白（间接引语+直接引语）主次分明,语言定位,记叙类故事文,叙事文本定位： 一组数据： 结尾1（153） adv or prep (behind, suddenly, until, obviously, already, later), verb (might, realize, continue, jump, race like the wind, learn, open, expected, describe, caught), noun or noun phrase (a large sum of m

6、oney, information) 结尾2（158） behind, directly outside behave, realize, drive, follow, describe, voice, innocent, embarrassed, faster,语言平实易懂的小故事,小词、常用词以及常见短语,12个新词(组),18个新词(组),funny,amusing，intriguing，diverting,VS.,语言定位,记叙类故事文,句式选用： 行为动作： “主语+谓语动词+宾语” 材料 Everyone had a different answer 结尾 The police c

7、aught the robber 事物状态：“主语+系动词+表语” 材料 Arthur was surprised, Park Avenue had been quiet a moment before 结尾 The man shouting behind is the bank thief, The man was innocent,“清楚明晰地讲故事”强调故事人物的行为和思想变化,语言定位,记叙类故事文,句式选用： 一组数据： 材料：12个含and的并列句式， 结尾1(153字): 6个并列句式；结尾2(158字):7个并列句式 主从复合句(以时间状语从句为主) 材料：when he wa

8、s on the way to, As he walked along, After placing it on the , Just as Arthur picked up 结尾：As he was running, The moment he go to, Just as Arthur was describing 时间提示词如at the moment, then, later等。,主从复合句少，并列复合句多,故事一环承接一环的时间发展和动作的延续,读后续写策略,情节基调,核心矛盾,框架完整,顺延逆转,语言文体,遣词用句,情节走向,合情合理的创意,不着痕迹,情节内容,框架结构,语篇段落,

9、1、挖掘情节基调，廓清核心矛盾，创造合情合理的创意故事外延。 2、理清叙事角度，把握顺延逆转，构建张弛有度的完整情节框架。 3、定位语言文体，模仿遣词用句，续写不着痕迹的语用叙事文本。,读后续写策略,“读后续写”与阅读课的契合,虚拟故事,“读后续写”与阅读课的契合,1. M3U2 Come and eat here 2.M7U2 Satisfaction Guaranteed,思维+语言,虚构+趣味,“读后续写”与阅读课的契合,Come and eat here,WP + his empty restaurant,Visit to YHs + got the problem,Do resear

10、ch,New sign and discount,Competition was on,What if with no research or no findings?,What if WP just copy YHs idea?,一个可能需要增加的阅读环节,信息梳理,Friendly cooperation Hostile competition Peaceful coexistence,+ 思辨发散,alarmed, disturbing, trust,“读后续写”与阅读课的契合,Satisfaction Guaranteed,信息整理+ 思辨发散,Claire,Tony,Gladys,a

11、ccompanied, protected, help,envy,A sense of failure,When compared with,Curtains opened +A party,Change her opinion,A sweet victory,A sense of loss,What if?,Curtains closed,Still victory?,Loss?,Tonys Report?,两篇文本（节选）,Wang Peng sat in his empty restaurant feeling very frustrated. It had been a very st

12、range morning. Usually he got up early and prepared his menu of barbecued mutton kebabs, roast pork, stir-flied vegetables and fried rice. Then by lunchtime they would all be sold. By now his restaurant ought to be full of people. But not today! Why was that? What could have happened?,Claire didnt w

13、ant the robot in her house, especially as her husband would be absent for three weeks, but Larry persuade her or allow her to be harmed. It would be a bonus. However, when she first saw the robot, she felt alarmed. His name was Tony and he seemed more like a human than a machine. He was tall and han

14、dsome with smooth hair and a deep voice although his facial expression never changed.,两个语篇的文本比较：,Satisfaction Guaranteed,Come and eat here,旁白+对白（旁白为主） 书面语+口语 简单句式，小词常规词 行为变化,全旁白的形式 全书面语形式 复合句式，较高级词汇 情绪（心理）表达,叙事人称：第三人称；叙事时态： 过去式 叙事顺序：以时间发展结尾方式：出人意料,Satisfaction Guaranteed,Come and eat here,A week lat

15、er, Wang Pengs restaurant was again quite full and he felt happier. He smiled as he welcome the customers warmly at the door but the smile left his face when he saw Yong Hui walking in. She didnt look happy but glare at him. “May I ask what you were doing in my restaurant the other day? I thought yo

16、u were just a new customer and now I know that you only came to spy on me and my menu.” she shouted.,The night of the party arrive. The clock struck eight. The guests would be arriving soon and Claire told Tony to go into another room. At that moment, Tony folded his arms around her, bending his face close to her and inspiring her with confidence. Then the front door bell rang. Tony freed her and disappeared from sight. Until then did Claire get se