2015海天暑期强化班作文讲义(赵南望)

2015 海天暑期强化班作文讲义主讲：赵南望第一部分 作文整体框架考研大作文最多由以下七个部分构成：描述图片(或图表)引出社会现象描述社会现象或相关行为讨论现象或社会问题举例说明提建议总结但不是所有的作文都要写七个部分：和有时可选其一；和有时可以合并为一部分。本讲义中有很多句子可经过修改后，充当文章里的多个部分，写作训练 1-3 中的句子，在后面进行了标号，代表可以充当哪一部分。文章主题常见有三种：1.绝对正面；2.绝对负面（如：不赡养老人、破坏环境） ；3.中性（如：网络、偶像崇拜） 。绝对正面和绝对负面的话题最好从一开始就态度鲜明，不要摸棱两可；中性话题要抓住一面主要讨论，但最好要用到转折语气：“尽管（好） ，但是（坏） ”， “虽然（坏） ，不过（好） ”。大作文第一段最后一句要写“画面总结” ，第二段最后一句要写“观点总结” ，例：07 年作文第一段最后一句：In fact, they will soon realize that it is not as difficult as they thought before. 07 年作文第二段最后部分：In a word, they suffer from underestimating their abilities. Obviously, both of them lack courage and confidence in front of challenges.小作文的题目要求非常重要，包含了每个步骤的得分点：如果题目用数字编号逐项列出写作要求，每个编号后面就是得分点，例如2009 年小作文“建议信”：Restrictions on the use of plastic bags have not been so successful in some regions. “White pollution” is still going on. Write a letter to the editor(s) of your local newspaper to1) give your opinions briefly and2) make two or three suggestions其中的 1）和 2）就是重要的得分点，必须逐项写到。如果没有用数字编号逐项列出要求，就要通过细节找到得分点，例如 2010 年小作文“招聘启事”的要求：You are supposed to write for the Postgraduates Association a notice to recruit volunteers for an international conference on globalization. The notice should include the basic qualifications for applicants and other information which you think is relevant. 划线部分是出题人暗示的得分重点。第二部分 作文开头段落写法（描述图片或图表）2009 年大作文（1）As is depicted in the picture, computers act as a spider web which links thousands of people together in the Internet world. With the web divided into separate cubicles in which people are sitting in front of computers for purposes of work or entertainment, people lose direct contact with each other in the real world. 注：1. With the web divided into separate cubicles in which people are sitting in front of computers for purposes of work or entertainment, people lose direct contact with each other in the real world. 其中 With 引导的伴随状语后面写画面，逗号以后的主句写有可能引发的结果和现象。2. 短语“for purposes of + 名词”，用来描写图中人物行为。（2）The picture above shows how people are connected to each other by a huge web through the medium of computers. They are sitting attentively before the computer screen either for work or for entertainment. Each of them is linked to each other by the net while at the same time separated from each other by the blocked wall.注：1. 句型 either for work or for entertainment，专门用来描写图片中不同的人做不同的事。2. 句型 Each of them is linked to each other by the net while at the same time separated from each other by the blocked wall.专门用来描写画面中对象的行为和状态刚好相反。（3）An enormous net, which symbolizes the Internet, has connected together everyone-young and old, men and women. People from every corner of the world are keeping in touch with each other just by clicking the mouse and pressing keys on the keyboard. With its convenience and efficiency, Internet is narrowing the distance among people in terms of both space and time. 注：1. An enormous net, which symbolizes the Internet, has connected together everyone转化为句型 A, which symbolizes the B, has done用来描写所有比喻画面，A为图中内容，B 为生活中的真实对象。2010 年大作文In the picture, we see a boiling hotpot. It contains various cultural ingredients from home and abroad, ancient to modern, including performing arts, renowned celebrities and branches of philosophy. The culturally blended content in the hotpot seems tasty and nutritious.注：1. 专门用来描写画面内容繁多且种类不一的画面：contain （宏观概括）from（范围） including （类别）such as（个案） 。2011 年大作文Two tourists are sitting on the edge of a boat and enjoying their fantastic trip. They maximize their excitement by recklessly discarding their rubbish. Incredibly, the boatman continues to quietly pole his boat pretending that he doesnt see such immoral behaviors. Downstream float cans, bottles, snack bags and food leftovers-a variety of rubbish. The scattered garbage has spoiled the previously scenic lake.第三部分 句型改写（写作训练 1）1. Lack of control is generally considered one of the biggest job stressors, so it used to be thought that middle managers carried the brunt: Sandwiched between the top and the bottom, they end up with little authority. 改写模式：Lack of （填写名词） is generally considered one of the biggest （名词） stressors, so it used to be thought that （名词，填写某一类人） carried the （填写名词，表示某种压力、困难）: Sandwiched between the（名词） and the （名词）, they end up with little （名词，表示缺失的某个事物） .缺乏往往被认为是最大的压力之一，因此过去人们往往认为一直都承受着.：他们被夹在和之间，其结果是往往没有任何例句改写：Lack of （experience） is generally considered one of the biggest （job-hunting） stressors, so it used to be thought that （graduating students） carried the （pressure ） : Sandwiched between the （skilled workers） and （the people with higher diploma ）, they end up with little （chance ）.缺乏（经验）往往被认为是最大的（求职）压力之一，因此过去人们往往认为（即将毕业的大学生）一直都承受着这样的（问题）：他们被夹在（技术工人）和（拥有更高学历的人）之间，其结果是往往没有任何（机会） 。2. For most of youngsters, a family move, whether it is just down the block or to a strange, new city, is a difficult and trying experience that usually involves a degree of sadness, apprehension and emotional upheaval that some authors have compared to dealing with death or divorce. 【改写模式】For most of （填写人物，本句是针对谁而言的就填写某类人）, （主语，填写名词，最好是某件事情）, whether （情况 1） or（情况 2）, is a difficult and trying experience that usually involves a degree of sadness, apprehension and emotional upheaval that some authors have compared to dealing with death or divorce.对于某人来说，某件事，无论是情况 1 还是情况 2， 都是一个怎样而又怎样经历，这些经历包含了一定程度的（名词 1，名词 2，名词 3） ，以至于很多（人）会将其与面临（某些大家熟悉的问题）而相提并论。【改写例句】For most of employers, job turnover, whether it is just in same business or to a entirely strange industry, is a difficult and challenging experience that usually involves a degree of excitement, apprehension and emotional upheaval.对于大多数职员来说, 只要是跳槽, 无论是转到同一个业务领域还是进入一个全新的行业，都是一个艰难而又充满挑战的经历，这些经历往往包含一定程度的激动、焦虑、及情绪波动。注：定语从句 that some authors have compared to dealing with death or divorce.可以省去。3. 【原句】We live a society in which the medicinal and social use of substances is pervasive. 【翻译】我们居住在一个这样的社会中，在这个社会里各种物质在药用和社交方面的使用是非常普遍的。 【例句改写】We live a society in which （填写某些现象，名词性短语） is pervasive: （举例说明这个现象的具体内容） 。【翻译】我们居住在一个这样的社会中，在这个社会里， （某些现象）是非常普遍的：（举例说明这个现象的具体内容） 。【改写】We live a society in which the commercial and academic use of computer is pervasive.我们居住在一个这样的社会中，在这个社会里计算机在商业和科研方面的使用是非常普遍的。4. Dependence is marked first by an increased tolerance, with more and more of the substance required to produce the desired effect, and then by the appearance of unpleasant withdrawal symptoms when the substance is discontinued. 改写框架：（主语，名词，某些东西或某些现象） is marked first by （名词）, with more and more of the （名词）, and then by the appearance of （名词）.翻译：（某些东西或现象）首先以（填写名词）为标志，随之而来会有越来越多的（填写名词） ，接下来又会以（填写名词）的出现为标志。注意事项：本句用来描写某些东西或现象，在不同的阶段会以不同的特征表现出来。其中 with more and more of , 根据个人情况而选择是否使用。优秀写作短语：the desired effect 预期效果；appearance of某些东西的出现5. The children who showed the most gains over the year in terms of learning the alphabet and numbers, as well as achieving basic reading and math skills, were those who had more individual interaction with teachers. 全句翻译：这些孩子在过去的一年中，在学习字母和数字方面取得了最大的收获，同时也达到了基本的阅读和算术技巧，这些孩子就是那些与老师有更多单独互动的人。改写模式：The children （who 修饰主语人物的定于从句，表达主语中某个人物目前的状况）,（ as well as 插入语，表示主语中人物目前还具有的其他特征）, were those （who 修饰表语中 those 的定语从句，表示本句人物形成以上现状的原因）.注意事项：本句用来描写和解释为什么某些人具有当前的某些特质。其中children 可以换成任何想要说明的人物。例句改写：The English learners who showed most progress over the year in terms of oral speaking, as well as achieving basic translation and writing skills, were those who studied assiduously and took part in many English activities.这些英语学习者在过去一年中，在口语方面取得了最大的进步，同事也达到了基本的翻译和写作技巧，这些人都是刻苦学习并且参与了很多英语活动的人。优秀写作短语：in terms of，在方面，就而言；interaction with 与互动。6. In 2007, an influential paper in the journal Behavioral and Brain Functions found that while most of us process emotions through the right hemisphere of the brain, about 35% of people especially victims of trauma process their hurt and anger through their left brain, where logic and language sit. 写作语法：“while，”句型。以逗号为分界线，某一个分句开头是while，表示让步转折语气。 “尽管（虽然），但是与此同时”found 为全句谓语动词，在科学研究和调查类话题中翻译为“指出” 。Found 后面为 that 引导的宾语从句。框架改写：该图片指出，当我们大多是人的时候，与此同时，也有小部分人7. The combination of the increased burden of AIDS in the developing world and the absence of affordable therapies and vaccines has raised the sensitivity of health professionals to issues of ethics and equity in international biomedical research. 改写模式：The combination of （情况 1，填写名词或名词性短语） and （情况2，填写名词或名词性短语）has raised the sensitivity of （人物，填写名词） to （某个问题，填写名词） of （问题的内容，填写名词） in （某个领域中，填写名词）.框架翻译：情况 A 加上情况 B，共同引起了某人在某领域中对于某问题的高度关注。优秀写作短语：The combination of A and B 情况 A 加上情况 B（A 和 B 既可以是名词也可以是名词性短语） ；raise the sensitivity（某事）引起了人们的敏感性（高度关注） 。8. As is abundantly clear from their art and literature, the ancients attached great importance to ideals of bodily perfection and to outward appearance in general.改写模式：As is abundantly clear from （以下的观点是从哪里得出或看出来的，填写名词或名词性短语）, （填写一个完整的句子，表达作者的观点） 。优秀写作短语：clear from，从中清晰可见； attached great importance to，对非常重视（省略号处填写名词或名词性短语） 。例句改写：As is abundantly clear from its current staff conditions, this company attached great importance to computer skills and to working experience of employees.这家公司非常重视雇员的计算机技能和工作经验，这一点从他们目前的员工状况中看的非常明显。9. Schools can take a major step in closing the gap between their highest-performing and lowest-performing students by expecting the same effort from students who perform below basic as from proficient readers.改写模式：（主语，名词） should take a major step （in doing在某方面采取措施） （by doing通过某些方式采取措施） .例句改写：This company should take a major step in closing the gap between high-income and low-income employees by shaping more reasonable salary policy.这家公司应该通过制定更加合理的工资政策，以缩小高收入和低收入员工之间的差距。10. The hybrid nature of todays society is a valuable resource that companies and businesses should tap into in their quest to innovate. 改写模式：The （填写形容词，修饰后面的“属性” 一词） nature of todays society is a valuable resource that （填写名词，某人或某机构） should tap into in their quest to （动词）.当今社会的（）性是一个宝贵的资源， （某人或某机构）在追求（）的过程中应该努力挖掘。优秀写作短语：valuable resource 宝贵的资源；tap into 挖掘，接近。注意事项：hybrid nature 中的 nature 应该翻译成“属性、性质”，但在例句中这个说法比较抽象，同学们在改写的过程中，可以把 hybrid nature 换成一个具体的名词。11. South Korean women face social pressure to quit when they have children, making it hard to stay on the career fast track.【译文】韩国女性面临着生子必须辞职的社会压力，使得她们难以停留在事业的快车道上。【改写指导】Poverty students face life pressure to find part-time job when they have economic trouble, making it hard to stay on the study fast track.贫困学生面临着经济困难必须寻找兼职的生活压力，使得他们难以停留在学业的快车道上。（本例句适用于任何有关压力的话题，一句话中包含了压力的对象、造成压力的原因、压力的具体内容，及压力造成的结果。 ）12. Perhaps Nokia and RIM should copy Apples strategy, not its phones, and get ready to ride the next wave of the digital revolution, whatever that may be.【译文】也许诺基亚和 RIM 应当效仿的是苹果的战略，而不是它的手机。两家公司须未雨绸缪，以在下一波数字革命中（无论到时其如何呈现）激流勇进。【改写】Perhaps young adult should copy scientists spirit, not only their behaviors, and get ready to ride the next wave of the intellectual revolution, whatever that may be.也许年轻人应当效仿的是科学家们的精神，而不是仅仅是他们的行为。年轻人须未雨绸缪，以在下一波知识革命中（无论到时其如何呈现）激流勇进。（本句用来表达向他人学习，不仅要学表面，更要学其精髓。whatever that may be 可选择使用。 ）13. Many women (and some men) work from home to allow themselves the flexibility to pick up kids from school.【译文】许多妇女（及一些男人）在家工作为了方便接孩子。【改写】Some college students live far away from campus to allow themselves the flexibility to take part-time job.有些大学生住在校园之外是为了方便自己完成兼职工作。（本句用来描写任何人与众不同的行为及该行为的目的。 ）（写作训练 2）1.The best books are those which stir us up most and make us the most determined to do something and be something ourselves. 原文翻译：最好的书应该是这样一些：它能最大程度的激励我们、能让我们在做事的时候变成最有决心的人、同时也能让我们变得与众不同。全句分析：本句的主干是 The best books are those，which 引导定语从句修饰代词 those，为了详细说明“什么样的书才算作好书” 。Which 引导的这个定语从句中有三并列部分，即 stir us up most（最大程度的激励我们） ， make us the most determined to do something（让我们在做事的时候变成最有决心的人） ， be something ourselves（让我们变得与众不同） 。改写指导：定语从句中的三点并列“好处” 具有很强的适用范围，因此，句中的books 一词可以换成任何能让人积极向上的人或东西，如果要写人的话，就把which 再换成 who 即可。例句改写：The best movies / lecture / works are those which stir us up most and make us the most determined to do something and be something ourselves. 最好的电影 / 演讲 / 作品应该是这样一些：它能最大程度的激励我们、能让我们在做事的时候变成最有决心的人、同时也能让我们变得与众不同。The best teachers / friends / educators are those who stir us up most and make us the most determined to do something and be something ourselves.最好的老师 / 朋友 / 教育家应该是这样的：他们能最大程度的激励我们、能让我们在做事的时候变成最有决心的人、同时也能让我们变得与众不同。优秀写作短语：stir sb. up 激发某人斗志；be something ourselves 成为与众不同的人。最终句型：The best （XXX ） are those which （who ） stir us up most and make us the most determined to do something and be something ourselves.其中的 XXX 可以换成任何能让人积极向上的人或东西，如果要描述人，就把 which 再换成who.2. It would have grieved me to lose your acquaintance, which must have been the consequence of your marrying Mr. Martin. 原文翻译：假如你跟马丁先生结婚，我就会失去你这个朋友，那我一定会感到很难过的。全句分析：would have grieved 是虚拟语气，表示对过去事情的假设：“如果某事发生的话，我就会非常难过”。 to lose your acquaintance 是真实主语，表示具体因为什么而难过。Which 所引导的从句中，must have been 是对过去的事实的肯定猜测，短语 the consequence of sth. / Ving 表示 “是的结果”，整个从句就可以理解为：“ 这肯定是你和马丁先生结婚的后果” 。 （即，因为失去你这个朋友而感到难过。 ）改写指导：本句可以经过修改后放在任何描述“友谊” 主题的作文里，我们可以将句末人名 Mr. Martin 去掉，动词的分词形式 marrying 替换成任何有可能会破坏友谊的动词分词形式。Acquaintance 是“熟悉”的名词形式，但是表达力度不及朋友，相当于“ 熟人” 的程度，所以可以在 “友谊”主题非常鲜明的句子中将acquaintance 替换成 friend 或 friendship。另外一个改写点需要注意，由于原句是对话，所以用了第二人称，在作文中为了体现普遍性和客观性，可以用第三人称代替第一人称，即，用 sbs, his, her, their 代替 your。例句改写：It would have grieved me to lose this friend, which must have been the consequence of his or her cheating / lying / betraying.假如他（她）欺骗 / 说谎/ 背叛了我，我就会失去这个朋友，那我一定会感到很难过的。优秀写作短语：would have done 有可能会（虚拟语气） ；must have been 一定会（虚拟语气） ；the consequence of， 是的结果。最终句型：It would have grieved me to lose this friend, which must have been the consequence of sbs Ving.其中 Ving 可以替换成任何动词的分词形式，去掉后面人名，就变成了描述损害友谊的句子，而且侧重于人的行为对友谊的破坏。3. We cannot escape the influence of （XXX）any more than we can escape the influence of the air that we breathe. 翻译：我们无法摆脱（XXX）的影响，就好像我们无法摆脱我们所呼吸空气的影响。注意事项：本句用来描写某些东西或某个事情与人们的关系密不可分，强调重要性。优秀写作短语：cannotany more than，不能 就好像不能（any more than 中的 not 被省略，但仍然表否定） 。4. Whatever you read, read with enthusiasm, with energy, read with the whole mind, if you would increase your mental stature. 原句翻译：不管你读什么书，都要充满热情、充满力量的去读，全身心投入的去读，如果你想要提升自己精神境界的话。改写模式：Whatever you （动词）, （同一个动词） with （名词 1，表示前面动词的状态）, with （名词 1，表示前面动词的状态）, （同一个动词） with the whole mind, if you would increase your （名词，表示褒义的某方面个人素养）.例句改写：Whatever you exercise, exercise with enthusiasm, with energy, exercise with the whole mind, if you would improve your physical fitness.不管你如何锻炼，都要充满热情、充满力量的去锻炼，全身心投入的去锻炼，如果你想要改善自己身体健康的话。优秀写作短语：the whole mind 全身心；mental stature 精神境界；physical fitness身体健康，体力。5. Human activities can harm or destroy local ecosystems unless land development for housing or businesses is carefully planned to conserve and sustain the ecology of the area.原句翻译：除非房地产和商业方面的土地开发谨慎计划，以便于保护和维护当地的生态，否则人类行为破坏甚至毁灭当地的生态系统。注意事项：本句在用来表示人类的过度开发会破坏环境的文章中。6. Yet, there is reason to have hope for the future.原句翻译：但是，我们有理由对未来充满希望。注意事项：可以用于描述完严重情况，准备提解决方案的衔接句，放在负面话题的第二段和第三段之间。7. The consequences are just too great to ignore.原句翻译：后果太严重了，以至于不能忽略。注意事项：用在任何描述事态严重的语境中，当衔接句用，放在负面话题的第一段和第二段之间。8. One of the most pressing challenges that Chinaand indeed, the worldwill face in the next few decades is how to alleviate the growing stress that human activities are placing on the environment.原句翻译：中国，乃至全世界，在接下来的几十年间将要面临的问题就是：如何人类行为对环境造成的日益严重的压力。注意事项：可以用在很多环保类文章的第二段第一句。9. Incontrovertible evidence from many studies shows that a higher level of education and greater mental activity throughout life correlate with lower (XX) losses. 原句翻译：许多研究得出了一个无可争议的事实：教育水平越高、脑力活动越多，(XX) 方面的损失就会越少。优秀写作短语：correlate with 与相关（一般它的主语和宾语都要出现比较级，翻译为：前者越怎样，后者就会越怎样） ；incontrovertible evidence 无可争辩的证据。10. Is the （XXX） uniquely vulnerable to the ravages of time?原句翻译：难道（XXX）特别容易受到岁月的侵蚀吗？注意事项：这句写完后要自问自答，然后提解决方案。the ravages of time 可以换成任何具有伤害性的东西或事情，应该填写名词或名词性短语。11. I want to offer new perspectives. 原句翻译：我想提出一个新的视角。注意事项：用来引出自己比较独特的看法和建议，代替 I think 这样的简单句，new 也可换为 fantastic。12. The oiling is done with higher wages, well-ventilated factories and piped music, and by psychologists and “human-relations” experts; yet all this oiling does not alter the fact that man has become powerless, that he does not wholeheartedly participate in his work and that he is bored with it. 改写模式 1：The （填写名词，表示 某件事情或某项任务） is done with （填写一个或若干名词，表示前面那件事情要通过什么工具和条件来完成）, and by （填写一个或若干表示人的名词，表示前面那件事情要通过什么人来完成）.注意事项：本句用来描述某件事情或某项任务在什么条件下可以被完成，with后面跟没生命的工具或条件，by 后面跟人，同学们也可以两个介词短语任选其一。改写模式 2：all these （名词） does not alter the fact （that 填写 fact 同位语从句）.所有这一切（名词）都无法改变这样的事实：。13. I suggest transforming our social system from a bureaucratically managed industrialism in which maximal production and consumption are ends in themselves into a humanist industrialism in which man and full development of his potentialitiesthose of love and of reasonare the aims of all social arrangements. 改写模式：I suggest transforming （填写名词或名词性短语，表示想要改变的对象） from （填写名词或名词性短语，想要改变的对象目前的状态） into （填写名词或名词性短语，希望变成的状态）.注意事项：定语从句 in which 描述名词的特点，大家根据自己的实际情况可选择使用14. If we habitually read books that are elevating in tone, pure in style, sound in reasoning, and keen in insight, our minds develop the same characteristics. 原句翻译：如果我们习惯性的读那些语气振奋、风格简约、推理合理、洞察敏锐的书，那么我们的精神也会形成同样的特点。改写模式：If we habitually （动词） （名词） that （定语从句）, our （名词）develop the same characteristics.如果我们习惯性做一件什么样的事，那么我们的也会形成同样的特点。注意事项：that are elevating in tone, pure in style, sound in reasoning, and keen in insight 是定语从句修饰前面的名词 book。改写时可以用它来修饰前面的名词：如果我们习惯性做一件什么样的事，那么我们的也会形成同样的特点。优秀写作短语：主语+be+形容词+in+名词（某东西在什么方面是什么样子的） 。例：elevating in tone（语气上）是催人奋进的。15. As we should associate with people who can inspire us to nobler deeds, so we should only read those books which have an uplifting power, and which stir us to make the most of ourselves and our opportunities. 原句翻译：就好像我们应该结交那些能够激励我们更崇高行为的朋友那样，我们也应该多看这样的书：具有催人奋进的力量并能让我们最大限度利用我们自身及我们的潜力。改写模式：As we should do sth, so we should only do sth.（正如同我们应该，所以我们也应该）注意事项：前面要写大家众所周知都认可的行为，后面写建议大家做的事情。16. The high-tech revolution has inspired a seemingly endless stream of new and exciting electronic products that we just cant live without. In fact, the dizzying sp