跨文化交际课件 L 7 Daily V C(II),Compliment

1、Lecture SevenDaily Verbal Communication(II)Learning ObjectivesEtiquette & ProtocolWarm-up CasesUnderstanding ComplimentDifferences Between Chinese and English ComplimentsPart OneEtiquette & ProtocalEtiquetteWebsters College Dictionary defines :“Etiquette” as “conventional requirements as to proper s

2、ocial behavior”.Chaney and Martin(2002)define, “Etiquette” refers to manners and behaviors considered acceptable in social and business situation. ProtocolWebsters College Dictionary defines :“Protocol” as “the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence and etiquette”.Acco

3、rding to Chaney and Martin(2002), “Protocol” refers to customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic etiquette and courtesies expected in official dealings (such as negotiation) with persons in various cultures. Etiquette and ProtocolNan Leaptrott distinguishes two terms in a simple way.Etiquette

4、is about: - how to do it gracefully. Protocol is about: -what to do in a given situation. Etiquette and ProtocolExample One: Meeting BehaviorProtocol: If you are at a meeting in northern Europe, give the speaker your full attention and strong eye contact.Etiquette: Sit up and show interest. Dont int

5、errupt the speaker with questions unless youre asked. Part Two Warm-up CasesCase 1 An Invitation to Dinner Bart brought his family to the Philippines, he prepared First Communion for his daughter. Bart invited his colleagues and their families to this gathering. One Filipino colleague, Manuel, to wh

6、om Bart felt especially close, kept putting off the answer and explained he would try to stop by sometime during Barts party. After the party, Bart was merely cordial to Manuel and showed no longer indications of friendliness. Manuel was puzzled and didnt know the reason. Why?First CommunionFirst Co

7、mmunion is considered as one of the holiest and most important occasions in a Roman Catholics life. It means that person has received the Sacrament of the Eucharist, the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Most Catholic children receive their First Communion when theyre seven or eight years of age becau

8、se this is considered the age of reason. Others can receive communion for the first time whenever theyve met all the Churchs requirements. Confession isnt the only requirement for receiving the Sacrament of Holy Eucharist. The Sacrament of Baptism must have been received as well. A child, or any per

9、son, who is not baptized cannot receive communion .Comment1. For Americans, knowing the number of guests will help the host to prepare the gathering. While, to Filipinos, they usually prepare more food than enough without minding the leftovers. As well, Filipinos prefer to be together with acquainta

10、nces. 2. For Americans, First Communion is very important, and inviting the colleagues to attend the gathering alongside his family is very special. However, in the Philippines, First Communion is not as important as Americans, they dont realize American pay so great attention to such an important s

11、ocial gatherings, especially when their children are involved. 3. We can see that different attitudes toward the same matter may lead to misunderstanding and unhappy feelings. If the two sides would say what was in their minds, the breach would be avoided. Case 2 The Cancellation of the Dinner Party

12、Called to a staff meeting by his principal, Stan from New Zealand enjoyed the sojourn at the international school in Manila and had a chance to meet his good friend Jose who was also invited to the meeting. The principal asked Stan to discuss the proposal and the content of the project as well as th

13、e possible implementation. Later, Jose was also asked to say a few words about the curriculum development project. While Jose was giving his outline, Stan asked some difficult questions that forced Jose to think on his feet and to defend his earlier assumption. After the meeting, Jose told Stan the

14、he couldnt meet him for dinner as planned, which was to Stans great puzzle. CommentIn New Zealand, a friend can openly provide criticism , which Stantook for granted, for it is a common practice among westerners. However, in Philippines, a person cant be a friend and critic at the same time, and eve

15、n in public. If the kiwi had made suggestions to an Asian privately, such a hostile feeling would not occur. Therefore, Stan should find some other way to voice his comment, which may be acceptable to the Filipino. We have different ways to express criticisms.Case 3 Why should they do this?A Filipin

16、o couple with a British acquaintance was strolling along the street in London. They met another Filipino whom they havent seen for years. They talked warmly and effusively in a loud and animated fashion in their native language. After a while, the British became agitated, and turned his head away an

17、d sighed. The Filipinos noticed the reaction and resumed their conversation but in a quieter tone. Why did the British become agitated?CommentBecause the Filipino couple did not introduce their friend to the British, in addition, the Filipinos were talking in their own native language. No doubt the

18、British felt left out, which is unacceptable and rarely occurs on social occasions in Britain. As usual, when an immigrant meets their native people in a foreign country, they have a strong emotional reaction, at these moments , they tend to neglect the surroundings including those around them. Such

19、 behavior is likely to be considered rude, which requires attention.Case 4 No EtiquetteNo Seeing Out When Guest LeavesHaving recently arrived in Canada, I paid a visit to my boss. When I was leaving, to my surprise, the door was shut as soon as I stepped out of the office. Later, I came to know it w

20、as not only me but also the boss and parents who may receive such “treatment”.Case 4 No EtiquetteNo Stand-up When Your Leader Comes inWhen my boss came into my office for the first time, I stood up immediately to show my respect. The boss misunderstood my behavior, thought I was going out. On anothe

21、r occasion, I offered my seat to the Head of the Department. He said “thank you ” and sat down. During the meeting, he kept looking at me, and later, he came over and apologized me, “I thought you were leaving . You dont have to offer meCase 4 No EtiquetteNo Help for Old PeopleMy landlady was over 7

22、0 and we got along well. Once when we climbed the stairs together, I stretched out to help her. She said, “I can do it. Thank you.” I misunderstood her words as politeness, so I escorted her to the top floor. Later, she asked me, half-jokingly and half-seriously, “Do you think I am old and useless?

23、When I have to move on a wheelchair, I will ask you for help.” I stood there, blushed and puzzled. CommentNo Help for Old PeopleFrom Chinese perspective, helping the old and the weak is a nice virtue and a good Chinese tradition. Refusing to help someone who is old or needs help, or turning a blind

24、eye to someone less fortunate is considered to be unkind or rude. In China, the people helped would accept the offer gratefully. From American perspective, only when a person asks for others help, you had better give him or her some assistance. Or they will feel offended. for they are very independe

25、nt . Part ThreeCompliments1. Definition of Compliment1. Definition of compliment Compliment means a remark or an action that expresses approval, admiration or respect. Compliment as well as its response is an essential part of daily verbal communication. Various expressions of compliment and respons

26、e manifest the cultural variation and different cultural roots. The topics of compliment(1) Appearance (2) Personality (3) Family (4) Family member (5) Talent (6) Prosperity or Belongings (7) The work has done Case One Lucy (to Li Hong, a Chinese woman): “Its a lovely and exquisite dress. The color

27、is so beautiful.” response to the compliment Li Hong(Chinese woman): The Chinese lady was pleased and answered in typical Chinese fashion “Oh, its an ordinary dress that I bought in China.” Lily (American woman): If an American lady heard the compliment, she would answer like, “This is really a nice

28、 dress. Im glad you like it.”How to understand analyze the different responses? For the American woman, she thinks the Chinese ladys response to her compliment may imply the person who is paying the compliment doesnt have good taste in clothing and not know what a really good dress is, that means he

29、r taste is a bit questionable. For the view of the Chinese lady, she tries to be modest. Because Chinese people tend to underestimate their abilities and qualifications and achievements in order to show their good modesty and effacing. Case Two(At a reception, a Chinese scholar was chatting with the

30、 hostess, Helen, when an acquaintance of hers, Bill, came up to them)Helen: “Bill, let me introduce Mr. Chen, an outstanding physicist and one of the nicest people I know.”Mr. Chen( offered his hand to the newcomer and looked at the hostess and said with a smile): “Should I blush, or should I tell h

31、im you dont really mean it?”How to understand Mr. Chens response? If Mr. Chen hadnt been smiling, his words could have been interpreted as the meaning like “Youre just saying that in order to be polite; you dont really mean that.” It also implies that the hostess is not sincere.Case ThreeA foreign v

32、isitor was looking at the hosts potted flowers with obvious admiration.The plants were blooming profusely.The host remarked diffidently,“Growing flower is my hobby, but I am not much good at it.”How do you comment on Chineses remark?The Chinese would be suspected of “Fishing for more compliments”, m

33、eanwhile the foreigner was hoped to be forced to say something like, “Surely, the flowers are nice.”Case Four A Canadian asked a Chinese art teacher to look over an article that she had written about Chinese paintings. He agreed, but added that “I really know little about the subject.” What expressi

34、ons do Chinese people hope to hear?“Oh, Come on. I know you are an expert on Chinese painting.”, or “I dont know anybody who knows more than you do.”2.Response to the compliment Compliment behaviors, especially responses to compliments, vary greatly from culture to culture. Generally speaking, Engli

35、sh speakers tend to accept compliments happily while the Chinese prefer to efface themselves by denial or claiming that they are not worthy of the praise.3Compliments and Responses Cultural differences in compliments and their responses may result in misunderstanding in social interaction across cul

36、tures. Bearing these differences in mind may prevent improper responses to compliment. 4. Functions of ComplimentCompliments or praises, as a part of verbal communication, are of important social functions. They help establish good relationship, which contributes to the smooth process of communicati

37、on. (1)creating or reinforcing solidarity(2)greeting people(3)expressing thanks or congratulations(4)encouraging people(5)softening criticism(6)starting a conversation(7)overcoming embarrassmentReinforcing SolidarityIn formal situation, many compliments are used to reinforce solidarity, and are ofte

38、n connected with the appreciation of something that has been done to the speaker. What American president Nixon said at a welcoming party in 1972 serves as an example.“I wish to thank you for the incomparable hospitality for which the Chinese people are just famous for throughout the world. I partic

39、ularly want to pay tribute, not only to those the magnificent dinner, but also to the splendid music.”Part FourDifferences Between Chinese and English Compliments1. Different Contents in compliments In both Chinese and American cultures, people compliment on other peoples family, intelligence, talen

40、ts, performance, manners, clothes, houses, furniture, cars, and good personal qualities. But cultural differences exist.1. Different Contents in compliments Its common to hear American lady talking about how her husband looks like, how hard he does, and all promotion he has got. She may compliment a

41、bout her children, how active they are, and be her pride and joy. But in Chinese culture , we seldom hear it. Chinese think those who praise their families or simply accept compliments without hesitation as blowing ones own horn, as the Chinese saying goes “老王卖瓜，自卖自夸”. We should remember that in bot

42、h cultures, compliment should be natural, sincere and appropriate whatever other differences are. 1. Different Perspectives in complimentsChinese perspectiveWesterners perspectivePraising families Chinese seldom praise members of family in front of others. It is very natural for family to praise eac

43、h other in the public. It is a very common subject of compliment.Praisingwomansappearance Men must be careful when complimenting a womans appearance, for it will be regarded as indecent. It is considered polite and good manner for a man to compliment a woman on her appearance or on social situation

44、in English speaking countries. The reply of the ladys husband The Chinese regard those who praise their families as blowing the horn. In western culture, saying a family member is old, is quite inappropriate.2. Different Responses to complimentsEnglish ResponseChinese ResponseCompliment: “This is a

45、nice sweater.”Response: “Thank ,I am glad you like it.”称赞: “你的毛衣真漂亮。”答语:“不不，才花了我十元。”Compliment: “You did a good job.”Response: “Thank you.”称赞：“你干得不错。”答语：“大家努力的结果。”English speakers tend to accept the compliments. Chinese tend to efface themselves in words, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments. 2. Different Responses to compliments The differences lie in the fact that Chinese have tradition