写作得高分市公开课获奖课件省名师优质课赛课一等奖课件

写作怎样得高分？模板当然主要，不过阅卷老师在阅卷过程中有时也会关注同学们用词和句型使用。高分作文标志1、180字左右；2、是否长短句交叉；3、用词是否恰当，准确，形象，尽可能使用能够吸引阅卷老师眼球闪光词；4、关键词是否换用，切勿老用重复词；1/14写好一篇作文注意事项：1.适当用被动代替主动，这么能更客观反应事实,句子开头不要总是用we/I(比如写结尾时不用weshouldpayattentionto而用Attentionshouldbepaidto.)举个经典结尾：Itis,therefore,hightimethatsomeapplicableapproacheswereimplementedbytheserviceindustrylikethat.Thus，itscompetitiveedgewillbesharpenedeffectively.2/142.善于使用插入语，比如说把副词、连接词等，作插入语放在中间，普通放在主语、动词或者助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。

如：however/therefore/forexample/Ibelieve做插入语放在中间，普通放在动词，助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。比如说：Otherindividuals,however,taketheattitudethat…3/143.一定要学会换词，换形象，详细代替太宽泛。(考试中普通不要出现good,bad,many,thing,think,people,opinion等等)比如上面例子中，applicable代替proper;approaches代替ways;implement代替carryout;sharpenone'scompetitiveedge代替enhanceone'scompetitiveness(提升某物竞争力)

4/14标题：ComputerandI

第一段：Ineverforgettheexceedinglythrillingdaywhenmymotherboughtmeacomputerasbirthdaypresent,whichexertedatremendousfascinationonmesothatIindulgedmyselfingogglinganarmyofusefulinformationIhadexpected,andenjoyaseaofmelodiousclassicmusic.ThatnightIwassleepless,feelingthatthewholeworldbelongedtome.

exceedingly替换verythrilling替换excitingsth.exertatremendousfascinationonsb替换sb.beinterestedinsth.谷歌替换searchanarmyof替换alotof

5/14

第二段：Thedawnofthenewcenturywitnessedtheincreasingpopularityofcomputers.Coincidentwiththeadvancementofscienceandtechnology,computerspouringintothecurrentsocietyasafashionareappealingto

growingindividuals.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatwehavebeensubmergedbythem,inlargemeasure!

Thedawnofthenewcenturywitnessed是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情；Increasingpopularity替换moreandmorepopular；Coincidentwith…非常地道词汇，表示“与…一致”意思，替换With…；Advancement替换development；Pourinto(floodinto/swarminto)替换enterinto；Current(currently)替换now；Appealtosb.替换sb.beinterestedinsth.；Growingindividuals替换moreandmorepeople；Itisnoexaggerationtosay经典句型，说某事是毫不夸大6/14

第三段：Tobeginwith,wecan,freely,searchdesiredinformationatanymoment.Littlebylittle,ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened.Additionally,wecangethugerecreationsonlinebychatting,playinggames,ordeliveringemail.

Wecan,freely,search用了插入语写作手法ourknowledgewillbewellenriched,andourhorizonswillbegreatlybroadened.用了非常精彩被动Additionally替换Inaddition/Besides

Deliver替换send

7/14第四段：Thereisnodenyingthat,however,computerscanfunctioninthedisserviceofhumanbeings,inaway,especiallythegrowingviolence,pornpictures,AV-filmsemergingonthescreen,whichleadsquietafewnetcitizenstocopying.Thereisnodenyingthat,however,computerscanfunctioninthedisserviceofhumanbeings,这个句子有三个精彩之处，首先Thereisnodenyingthat这个句型，还有however作为插入语，functioninthedisserviceof替换doharmtoEmerging代替appearing(fading代替disappearing)Netcitizen网民，属于精彩用词8/14

第五段：Asaclassicproverbgoesthatnogardenhasnoweeds.Computersdoplayapositiveroleinthedevelopmentofpeople'lives,despiteasliceofunfavorableimpacts.Weshould,therefore,takeadvantageofthefruitsandavoidtheoppositefacet.Nogardenhasnoweeds替换EverycoinhastwosidesComputersdoplay，do强调Positive替换important/good等Asliceof替换apartofUnfavorable替换badImpacts替换effects/influencesWeshould,therefore,takeadvantageof…使用插入语Fruits(而且fruits用非常形象，merits/virtues)替换advantage(defects替换disadvantage)

Facet替换aspect9/14以下是30个最经典替换词，以供参考。1.individuals,characters,folks代替(people,persons)2:positive,favorable,rosy(美好)，promising(有希望)，perfect,pleasurable,excellent,outstanding代替good3:dreadful,unfavorable,poor,adverse(有害)代替bad4.(anarmyof,anoceanof,aseaof,amultitudeof,many,ifnotmost)代替many.注：用many,ifnotmost一定要小心，many后一定要有词。E.g.Manyindividuals,ifnotmost,harbortheideathat….

10/145:asliceof,quietafew,several代替some6:harbortheideathat,taketheattitudethat,holdtheviewthat,itiswidelysharedthat,itisuniversallyacknowledgedthat)替think

(因为是书面语，所以要加that)7:affair,business,matter代替thing8:shared代common9.reaphugefruits代替getmuchbenefit10:formypart,frommyownperspective代替inmyopinion11/1411:Increasing(ly),growing代替moreandmore(注意没有growingly这种形式。所以当修饰名词时用

increasing/growing.修饰形容词，副词用increasingly.eg.sthhasgainedgrowingpopularity.Sthisincreasinglypopularwiththeadvancementofsth.12.littleifanything,或littleornothing代替hardly13..benefitialrewarding代替helpfulbebeneficialof14.shopper,client,consumer,purchaser,代替customer15.exceedingly,extremely代替very12/1416.hardlyunnecessary,hardlyinevitable...代替necessary,inevitable17.sthappealstosb,sthexertsatremendousfascinationonsb代替sbtakeinterestin18.captureone'sattention代替attractone'sattention.19.facet,demension,sphere代aspect20.beindicativeof,besuggestiveof,befearfulof代indicate,suggest,fear21.giveriseto,leadto,resultin,trigger代替cause.22.Thereareseveralreasonsbehindsth代替..reasonsforsth23.desire代替want.13/1424.pourattentioninto代替pay