2023年1月浙江首考读后续写题目-蜂鸟情缘讲义 高考英语作文复习专项

2023年1月8日浙江省高考真题

Iwasinvitedtoacookoutonanoldfriend'sfarminwesternWashington.Iparkedmy

car

outsidethefarmandwalkedpasta

milkinghouse

whichhadapparentlynotbeenusedinmanyyears.

Anoiseatawindowcaughtmyattention,soIenteredit.Itwasa

hummingbird（蜂鸟）,

desperately

tryingtoescape.

She

wascoveredin

spider-webs（蛛网）andwas

barelyable

tomove

herwings.

She

ceasedherstruggle

theinstantIpickedherup.首段分析：人物关系：单一主人公与拟人化动物之间的关系；事件:开车去农场---路过废弃的milkinghouse---看到被spider-webs困住的hummingbird---营救。感情要素：she的拟人，desperatelytryingtoescape,barelyableto

,struggle.等词证实作者对hummingbird的同情怜悯与博爱。环境要素：无特别强调。

Withthebirdinmy

cupped

hand,Ilookedaroundtoseehowshehadgottenin.Thebrokenwindowglasswasthelikelyanswer.Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.二段分析：事件：I

stuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.情感：喜爱。

WhenIopenedmyhand,

thebirddidnotflyaway;

shesatlookingatmewithherbrighteyes.Iremovedthestickyspider-websthatcoveredherheadandwings.Still,shemadenoattempttofly.

Perhapsshehadbeenstrugglingagainstthewindowtoolongandwastootired?Ortoothirsty?三段分析：事件:鸟在我手中，没有飞走，用她那明亮的眼球子看着我。---证实人与动作的天然情感（让我想起儿时的美好回忆，与各种小动物的互动）你有吗？本段最后一句，作者的推断为续写埋下伏笔，推测小鸟当时的心理状况。

AsIcarriedheruptheblackberry-linedpathtowardmycarwhereIkeptawaterbottle,shebegantomove.Istopped,andshesoontookwingbutdidnotimmediatelyflyaway.本段分析：承接前段，对情感和事件的强化。

Hovering（悬停）,sheapproachedwithinsixinchesofmyface.

Foraverylongmoment,

this

tinycreaturelookedintomyeyes,

turningherheadfromsidetoside.Thensheflewquicklyoutofsight.本段分析：小鸟飞走，主人公与小鸟情感确立。

Duringthecookout,Itoldmyhostsaboutthehummingbirdincident.Theypromisedtofixthewindow.AsIwasdeparting,myfriendswalkedmetomycar.Iwasstandingbythecarwhenahummingbirdflewtothecenterofourgroupandbeganhovering.Sheturnedfrompersontopersonuntilshecametome.

Sheagainlookeddirectlyintomyeyes,thenletoutasqueakingcallandwasgone.Foramoment,allwerespeechless.Thensomeonesaid,“Shemusthavecometosaygoodbye.”末段分析：当作者离开，小鸟飞回，众人惊讶无语，推测---她在说goodbye。官方例文：

Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.

As

my

car

neareditmythoughtsdriftedbacktothemoment

when

I

rescued

the

hummingbird

fromthe

spider’sweb.Irushedbacktothe

desertedhouse.//Itwasagreat

comfort

that

the

originalhole

inthe

window

wasnowheretobefound.

/

Leavingthehouse,I

couldn’thelp

wondering

howitwasgettingonnow.

Haditmanagedtofinditswaybackhome,orwasitstillouttheresomewherestrugglingtosurvive?

（换位思考）评析：作者在叙述阶段，首句先谈及开车回到农场时，想起曾经救过的小鸟，把该在文章中出现的名词依次写出（car、hummingbird、spider'sweb），并回到desertedhouse去寻找小鸟；**注意作者的手法：as引导的时间状语从句+when引导的定语从句；选词：driftedback;rushback;desertedhouse.凸显作者的情感。第二层：谈自己走到desertedhouse后的情感--comfort。第三层：走出屋子，联想小鸟去哪里，并用给虚拟语气推测：她能回到家吗？她能活下来吗？感情色彩浓重，用简单的单词渲染有价值的情感。

Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.

Aflashofmovementcaughtmyattention(过渡).

Iturnedaroundtoseethesamehummingbird

hovering

intheair.

It

seemed

thatthebirdwaswaitingforme,its

beautifuleyes

lockedonmineasiftryingtoconveysomedeep,unspoken

gratitude.

/Ifeltasurgeof

relief

andaweatthe

sightofthissound

and

gratefulcreature,andIknewthatI

would

alwayscherishthememorieswesharedasIclimbedintomycaranddroveaway.第二段评析：第一层：用aflashofmovement

caughtmyattention.做过渡句，很好的承接前句，并引起下句--看到了那只小鸟。第二层：用情感推测：她在等我，看着我，试图在想我表达感谢（这样些，能很好地呼应第一段救小鸟的情境）；第三层：感恩这份情感，永远不会忘记。精彩点：情感与环境、事件融为一体；笔法丝滑，柔美；语法中涵盖高考中需要的各级别从句+虚拟语气+换位思考。下水文1：Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.Icouldn'thelpbutthinkofthelittlehummingbirdandwonderedifIwouldseeheragain.Imademywayupthesamepathandnoticedthatthewindowwasnowsecurelyrepaired.AsIpeeredinsideIcouldn'thelpbutfeelrelievedthatthehummingbirdhadbeenabletofindasafehomeonceagain.Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.Sheflewdownfromanearbytreeandperchedontheedgeofanearbyfence.Iwatchedinaweasshespreadherwingsandgracefullyhoppedfrompoletopole,seeminglydancingthroughtheair.Sheturnedandlookeddirectlyatme,almostasifsheweresaying"thankyou".Afterwhatseemedlikeaneternity,IrealizedIhadtogo.Isaidonelastgoodbyeandwatchedasthehummingbirdflewaway,soaringhighintothesky.IknewthenthatIhadbeenblessedwithanextraordinaryencounterwithabeautifulcreature,oneIwouldneverforget.下水文2：Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.AsIlookedaround,Inoticedthatthewindowwasnowfixed.Myoldfriendswelcomedmeagainandtoldmeoftheoddbirdsightingsandhummingnoisestheyhadheardinthepastfewdays.WeallagreedthatthehummingbirdmusthavebeenthesameoneIhadhelpedafewweeksago.

Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.Glidinggracefullythroughtheair,shemadeabeelinestraightforme.Shehoverednearmyface,chirping,andthenflewaway.Allofuswereamazed.EvenasIgotinmycaranddroveaway,Ifelthe