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TipsforcontinuationwritingSomegeneralconceptsWhatmakesagoodstory?Writingagoodarticleisjustliketobeagoodman:Youshouldhaveanoblesoul,astrongbodyandsuitableclothes.Threeprinciplestoevaluateacontinuationwriting
评估1.Fromtheplots2.Fromthedetails合情合理(真善美、积极向上)生动具体/跌宕起伏+合乎逻辑+文风一致3.Fromtheexpressions丰富准确的表达三原则:正能量,一致性,曲折性
Step1Step2Step3Step4Step5研读文本,寻找冲突确定主题,围绕核心揣测首句,预测情节关注伏笔,高度融合解决冲突,升华主题Stepsforcontinuingyourstory读后续写高分要素1.眼前一亮的书写卷面2.情节合理,衔接过渡自然,3.内容可读性强,创造性、逻辑性、丰富性、合理性4.生动的动作和贴切的心理描写+环境衬托+少许对话5.丰富具体生动高级的语言表达6.积极和有意义的结尾(解决冲突)Howtomakeyourcontinuationwritingvivid?题材题材Skill1:Show,don’ttell1.动作描写动作链:使用一连串动作让画面动起来Hedied/isdead/passedaway.Helaystillonthegroundwithoutabreath,hisheartnotbeatinganymore.动作描写–动作链题材题材例1:①Fortunately,hethrewmeabranchandpulledmeout.②Helayonhisstomach,pushedthebranchbeforehimandwoundhiswaytowardsme.Igrabbledthebranchwithcareandwasultimatelydraggedoutoftheicewater.Action1Action2Skill1:并列动作-并列谓语动词表示(动词时态要一致)Action3Action4Action5妈妈抱着孩子.形成动作链:冲向前蹲下来一把抱住Mumdashedforward,kneltdownandgatheredthekidintoherarms.
CreateanactionchainSub.+V1,V2and(then)V3Mumhuggedthekidtightly.Mumgavethekida(tight)hug.
她拥抱了Betty.(失散多年的老朋友)Shedashedforward,gatheredBettyintoherarmsand
burstintotears.冲上去--抱住她--流下眼泪--dashforwardhug/gatherherintoherarmsburstintotears上车?getintothecargetonthebusShestoppedacar,gotintoitand
toldthedriverherdestination.Skill1:Createanactionchain:Sub.+V1,V2and
V3“我去救公主”我要带上最好的剑翻过最高的山穿过最深的树林把公主带回来动作少怎么办?我带上最好的剑翻过最高的山闯入最深的森林把公主带回
Iclimbedoverthehighestmountain,foundmywayintothedeepforestandbroughtbacktheprincess.
Carryingthebestsword,Iwentintothedeepforestandbroughttheprincessback.Iclimbedoverthehighestmountainandfoundmywayintothedenseforest,bringingbacktheprincess.Afterclimbingoverthehighestmountain,Ifoundmywayintothedenseforesttobringbacktheprincess.流畅三连动同时发生有先有后,有因有果Shestoodonthetopofthemountain,lookingintotheskyandfeelingthepreciouspeaceinherinnermind.Shestoodonthetopofthemountain,lookedintotheskyand
feltthepreciouspeaceininherinnermind.Standingonthetopofthemountain,shelookedintothesky,feelingthepreciouspeaceinherinnermind.Practicemakesperfect心理描写:喜怒形于色----Heishappy.Hissmilebroadenedfromeartoear.Heclappedhishandstogetherandjumpedupanddownwithjoy.Hegiggledandsquealedwithexcitement.facebodyvoiceSkill2:从面部/肢体和声音三个方面体现人物的喜怒哀乐.v.咯咯地笑v.长声尖叫rippleover(tospreadthroughapersonlikeawave)
flood=overwhelm[əʊvəˈwelm]wellup情感涌动=surgeup突然迸发或激增=boilupcomeinwavesbrimover充满/overflow/bubblewith(feelings)Herheart_______________________________________happiness.Awaveofhappiness_________________________________________.wasbrimmingover/overflowing/bubblingwithflooded/rippledover/overwhelmedme.welledup/surgedup/boiledup/cameinwaves.sbHewasveryhappy.他喜上眉梢。无灵主语Differentemotionsseize,grasp,grip(holdtightly),takeholdof,tear...intopiecesjealousy,fear,curiositypanic,anxiety,anger,bitternessdoubts,joy,
...Anxiety_________________________________
seized/grasped/gripped/tookholdofher.
toreherintopieces.Awildjoy
(negativeemotion)tookholdofher.(positiveemotion)Shewasveryhappy.Shewasverynervous.
TheInterplaybetweenInnerthoughts
andOutwardExpressionsSkill3:续写中的内外穿插法外在表象:陈述、动作、对话、表情、环境、五感、外貌等内心世界:心理活动、感受描写等相互作用交替运用他默默地站在那里,感激的泪水在眼眶打转。Hestoodtheredumbly,tearsofgratitude
wellingupinhiseyes.Withtearsofgratitude
wellingupinhiseyes,hestoodtheredumbly.动作描写心理+表情描写情境:JohnjustbrokeupwithSarahduringadinnerdateinarestaurant.请描写Sarah走出餐馆的一幕。(写出她的伤心)
JohnjustbrokeupwithSarahduringadinnerdateinarestaurant.Sarahcouldn’tholdbackhertearsasshesteppedoutontothesidewalk.Fragmentsoftheirsweetpastkeptflashinginhermind.Howcouldsheletgoofthese?Shefeltasifthewholeworldhadcomecrashingdownaroundher.“Ithurts.Itreallyhurts.”Shesobbed.
内外描写的交织陈述动作描写心理活动感受描写对话/独白描写表情描写思考:紫句插在红绿之间会更好吗?Thewordsechoedinhermind,refusingtosinkin."We'regettingadivorce."Herparentshaddroppedthebombshelljustmomentsago,andtheteenagegirlwasstrugglingtoprocessthenews.Shesatonherbed,______________________________________________.Shefeltlost,helpless,andalone.Astheminutestickedby,thegirl'smindracedwithquestions,doubts,andfears.Wouldtheystillloveherthesameway?Whowouldshelivewith?Wouldanythingeverbethesameagain?Withaheavyheart,sheburiedherfaceinherpillow,wishingshecouldescapethepainandconfusionthathadtakenoverherlife.staringblanklyatthewall,astearssliddownherface(表情描写)
Decodehowtheauthorconstructedthegirl’semotion.心理活动+对话陈述感受描写环境描写心理活动感受描写动作描写心理活动动作描写寻找单句中内外描写的交叉手段(内)心理活动、感受描写(外)陈述、环境、五感、表情、动作、外貌描写Thesunbeatdownmercilesslyontheyoungcoupleastheytrudgedthroughtheendlessexpanseofsand.Theirthroatswereparched,andtheirlipscrackedfromtherelentlessheat.Theyhadbeenwanderinginthedesertforhours,withnoideawhichwaytoturn.Panicstartedtosetin,__________________________________.Theyoungmantookhisgirlfriend'shand,tryingtocomfortherastheystumbledforward.Witheverystep,theycouldfeeltheirbodiesweakening,theirhopefading.
Justwhentheythoughtitwasover,thecouplespottedasmallclusteroftreesinthedistance.Summoningalltheirstrength,theypushedforwardtowardstheoasis,prayingforamiracle.Astheydrewcloser,theycouldseeatrickleofwaterseepingfromtheground,andtheirheartsleapedwithjoy.Theycollapsedbesidethespring,drinkingthelife-givingwaterwithtearsofgratitudeintheireyes.Theyknewtheywereluckytobealiveandvowedtonevertakethegiftoflifeforgrantedagain.astheyrealizedtheymightnotmakeitoutalive(动作描写+表情描写)
技巧识别和训练:环境+动作描写五感描写陈述心理描写动作描写心理活动陈述动作描写心理活动环境/陈述感受描写动作描写表情描写心理活动感受描写感受描写动作描写寻找单句中内外描写的交叉手段(内)心理活动、感受描写(外)陈述、环境、五感、表情、动作、外貌描写请用内外穿插法描写我上台弹钢琴时的紧张及战胜紧张的过程。Everynerveinmybodystretchingtoabreakingpoint,Ifinallymadefirmstepstothepianobench.Withadeepbreath,Iarrangedmyfingersonthekeyscautiouslyandbegantoplay.Tomygreatrelief,thefirstnotewaslikeadropofwaterdrippingintoabarrenland(切换描写对象),instantlydrivingawaymyawkwardnessandnervousness.Followingthefirstnote,thebeautifulmelodyflewoutnaturallywiththedanceofmyfingers.(拟人)
Igrewmoreandmoreconfident,smilingwitheyesclosed,andentirelyimmersedmyselfintheshow.感受描写动作描写动作描写感受描写感受描写动作描写感受描写Tip:注意两个切换:描写对象的切换&内外描写的切换Writingtime第二节(满分25分)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Charliewasalittleboyoften.Hewassuchagoodboythateveryonelovedhimalot.Duetohisfather’sjob,hisfamilyshiftedtoanewcity,wherehewasadmittedintoanewschool.AsCharliewasagoodboy,mostofhisnewclassmatesbecamehisgoodfriendssoon.TheteachersalsopraisedCharlieforhisintelligenceandgoodbehavior.ButtherewasoneboyintheclasswhodidnotlikeCharlieatall!HisnamewasBillandhewasaverynaughtyboy,sonoonelikedhimatall.HefoundthatCharliewasaquietboy,sohestartedmakingtroubleforhisnewclassmate.ButCharliestillkeptquietanddidnotcomplaintotheclassteacher.WhenCharlie’sparentslearnedaboutBill,theywantedtogotoschoolandcomplainaboutthisnaughtyboy’sbehavior.ButCharliestoppedthemandsaid,“Mom,Dad,pleasedonotworry.Everythingwillbeallright.”Dayswentbyandthetimecamefortheannualsportsmeetingattheschool.Charliewasalsogoodatsportsandhewasparticipatinginanumberofevents.Billwasparticipatinginthesackrace(套袋跑),thoughhecouldnotrunveryfastduetohisfatbody.WhenBillsawthatCharliewonfirstprizeinthe100-meterrace,hefeltveryjealous(妒忌的)anddecidedthathewouldnotletithappeninthesackrace.Asplanned,BilltriedtopushCharliewhilejumpingonthetrackduringthesackrace.Buthelosthisbalanceandfelldown!Hislegwasbadlyinjuredandhecouldnotevenstandupbyhimself.Butashewasunpopularamonghisfriends,nooneturneduptohelphim!注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。Charlienoticedwhathadhappened.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________CharlietookBilltotheschooldoctor._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Charliewasalittleboyoften.Hewassuchagoodboythateveryonelovedhimalot.Duetohisfather’sjob,hisfamilyshiftedtoanewcity,wherehewasadmittedintoanewschool.AsCharliewasagoodboy,mostofhisnewclassmatesbecamehisgoodfriendssoon.TheteachersalsopraisedCharlieforhisintelligenceandgoodbehavior.ButtherewasoneboyintheclasswhodidnotlikeCharlieatall!HisnamewasBillandhewasaverynaughtyboy,sonoonelikedhimatall.HefoundthatCharliewasaquietboy,sohestartedmakingtroubleforhisnewclassmate.ButCharliestillkeptquietanddidnotcomplaintotheclassteacher.WhenCharlie’sparentslearnedaboutBill,theywantedtogotoschoolandcomplainaboutthisnaughtyboy’sbehavior.ButCharliestoppedthemandsaid,“Mom,Dad,pleasedonotworry.Everythingwillbeallright.”Dayswentbyandthetimecamefortheannualsportsmeetingattheschool.Charliewasalsogoodatsportsandhewasparticipatinginanumberofevents.Billwasparticipatinginthesackrace(套袋跑),thoughhecouldnotrunveryfastduetohisfatbody.WhenBillsawthatCharliewonfirstprizeinthe100-meterrace,hefeltveryjealous(妒忌的)anddecidedthathewouldnotletithappeninthesackrace.Asplanned,BilltriedtopushCharliewhilejumpingonthetrackduringthesackrace.Buthelosthisbalanceandfelldown!Hislegwasbadlyinjuredandhecouldnotevenstandupbyhimself.Butashewasunpopularamonghisfriends,nooneturneduptohelphim!注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。Charlienoticedwhathadhappened.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________CharlietookBilltotheschooldoctor._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【读后续写解析】【导语】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了Charlie因为搬家进入一个新学校,因为他乖巧懂事、友好聪明,大家都很喜欢他。但是有一个名叫Bill的调皮男孩子不喜欢他,甚至因为Charlie跑步比赛拿第一名而嫉妒他。并计划在套袋跑比赛中使坏推倒Charlie。没想到的是,Charlie没摔倒,Bill自己却摔倒了。Charlie本来即将赢得第一名,但是他为了去帮Bill放弃了比赛。Bill因此被打动,不再使坏,还立志成为Charlie一样优秀的孩子。他们俩也成为好朋友。
【详解】1.段落续写:①由第一段首句内容“Charlie注意到发生了什么。”可知,第一段可描写Charlie注意到 Bill摔倒后,放弃比赛拿奖,前去帮忙。②由第二段首句内容“Charlie把Bill送到了校医那儿。”可知,第二段可描写Charlie如何
把Bill送到医生那里,然后Bill因此而被改变。2.续写线索:Charlie搬家进入新学校——被同学Bill欺负——Charlie比赛获奖,Bill嫉妒,计划使坏——Bill摔倒,Charlie弃赛帮忙——Bill就医——Bill改变,二人成为好朋友
Charlienoticedwhathadhappened.
Atthatmoment,hewasfaraheadoftheotherracersandwasclosetowinningtherace.However,themomenthesawBillgotinjuredandwasstrugglingtogetup,heabandonedtheraceandturnedbacktohelphim.ThelittleboyhadtomakeagreatefforttopullBillup,ashewasmuchlargerinsize.Asaresult,Charlielosttherace,which
madehisclassmatesalittledisappointed.
CharlietookBilltotheschooldoctor.Atthedoctor’s,Billwascarefullycheckedand
wasgivensometreatment.“Youlostthissackraceonlybecauseofme!”saidBill,aftercomingoutofthedoctor’s.“Mymomtellsmethathelpingafriendismoreimportantthanwinningarace,”answeredCharlie.Deeplytouchedbyhisreply,BillpromisedtobeagoodboylikeCharlie.Afterthat,theybecamegoodfriendsandeverybodywasquitesurprisedatBill’sbigchange.Charlienoticedwhathadhappened.HesawBillfalldownonthetrack,clutching(因痛苦或害怕)抱紧、紧握hisinjuredleg.CharlieknewthateventhoughBillhadbeenmeantohim,hecouldn'tignoresomeoneinpain.Withouthesitation,CharlieranovertohelpBillupandsupportedhimtothesideoftheracetrack.Despitethepain,BillwassurprisedbyCharlie'skindnessandwasgreatlygratefulforhistimelyhelp.
CharlietookBilltotheschooldoctor.ThedoctorexaminedBill'slegandconfirmedthatitwasasprain.HeinstructedBilltorestandgavehimsomemedicinetoreducetheswelling.Whilewaitingforhisparentstopickhimup,CharliestayedbyBill'sside,chattingwithhimandmakingsurehewasokay.Billwasamaze
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